I actually can't believe I'm writing a thread about this, but I need someone to get this through my head before I explode! In this particular situation I feel like I'm a child that just doesn't understand. Daily, i'm always busy. Mondays and Thursdays I have an internship with a radio station from 10am-5pm. Later it follows a class from 6-9pm. I work Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays part time yet I'm always looking for the BIGGEST social life. My only FULL free day is Fridays. I usually contact my family and friends. Always trying to hang out with someone, but apparently everyone is busy. And months go by and I say to them "We haven't talked in a long time. Is there something wrong? Is this normal?" They reply everything is fine, yet its months since we've talked and yet everything is great. I feel like years can go by and yet still half the people I talk to wouldn't talk to me if I didn't keep contacting them. I've been involved with two movies (so I know a lot of cast members), I have friends from work, school and etc yet no one really hangs out. When it comes to other people I see pass by me they have a nice social life and I don't. At any rate, I don't understand. I know I have a self confidence problem and I'm always looking at myself in a negative way, so naturally I just blame myself and feel like no one wants to be bothered with me...including KH-Vids. This is a problem...right? Speaking of KH-Vids, I feel like I have to do something amazing in order to be liked. Pathetic, right?
I think half of what your going through is normal. Staying in contact with friends and family is a tough one, as my oldest sister is finding out herself. I always feel I'm the one calling my contacts as well. There are few reasons for it, but I would fuss on them at this point. Mike, how do we know what's wrong if you don't tell. We can't read your mind. I'm sure there are people that adore you and want to talk to you. They are there, you just need to find them. For the doing something to be liked is just silly. I don't do anything here at all, and still a few people think I do good things for this site. Just, as someone put it, be yourself. And whatever happens, don't care about what others think of you. That's what keeps me going anyways.
Hmm, well, considering your only full free day is Friday, maybe everyone else is always busy on that day? What hours do you work on Saturday and Sunday? If you call your family or some friends up a week or so in advance and can squeeze some time out before/after you go to work, they'll probably be free to hang out. Usually wit my friends, since I do a few things after school during the week, I just make sure that when I have some free time before a break or a weekend, tat I try and schedule something up so there's a concrete "hey we are doing this on this day because we are all free" thing. I can understand about feeling like they wouldn't talk to you. I have played both ends of this at times with friends. :v But just keep calling them up, and seeing when they have free time, so either you or them could adjust your schedules around that day to accommodate for it. I highly doubt they would not want to hang out with you, but they might not be able to be free the same times you are. As for KHV, just keep posting! o: When I had first joined I had never posted at all, but over time as I kept doing it, I got to know people a bit better, and they got to know me as well. You do not have to do anything amazing to be liked -- heck, you are already well liked by all of KH-Vids all ready. :D But if you do feel like you need to do something more than you are, I'd just say post around in areas of KHV you haven't really gone into so far (I'd suggest places like The Last Peron to Post thread, as well as the other threads in the Playground) and feel free to VM those people, and the friendships will come.
Well, speaking for myself, I know I haven't been the most communicative friend, and I apologize for that. With school and work and the holidays lately, and us keeping different hours, you usually catch me right when I'm going to sleep. And I'm sorry about that. Since it's a repeated thing, feel free to leave me VMs, PMs, emails, whatever--I would love to talk to you more Mike, I think we just have different schedules. But we can work that out. =] And... I've been there. The most I can say is to just keep trying. It might take a long time, but one day you'll meet people you're comfortable with and who get you and you get them and it just works. It's not easy to get there, and it sucks waiting for it, but in the mean time... you've got us, here on KHV. Maybe we are those people. You never know. But sometimes, if the interest doesn't seem to be there, it might be better to just give up on that person and look for people who will appreciate you and hang out with you. Confidence & personal issues aside, I truly believe that you can find people out there who accept you for who you are, and love you regardless. If your confidence & self-esteem issues are serious enough that they harm you on an every day basis, you may want to consider seeing someone about that. I'm not saying get pills or anything, but sometimes just talking to someone can help. You just can't put so much pressure on yourself to do or say something amazing or hilarious. It's impossible to achieve that. All you have to do is be honest and truly you--no showiness, no acting like something you're not. Just you. And if people don't accept you as you are? You'll find people that do. And just... don't sweat the small stuff. Accept the bad and focus on the good. Drop me a message whenever you'd like. =]
While I have a lot of friends that do enjoy me, there is only one (who already finished high school) that hangs out, which has been reduced immensely since he started working. However, I do the same thing, where I'm the one calling and stuff. I don't take my friends not calling me personal, though, I just think that they're probably busy or just don't think about it.
Mike, this isn't pathetic. You're just putting yourself down. I have a problem which is similar, so that's the why I'm always in KH-Vids, trying to have fun, trying to be lively and laugh with everyone, make everybody happy telling stupid jokes and whatever it takes to post in every single thread. Just to feel better, maybe I'm selfish at that point. Problems with accepting myself too. So I think I can understand you . No- I understand you Mike. Putting myself down, trying to help people and yet feel like the best isn't enough. You don't need to do something amazing in order to be liked. You are loved by many ones. I really can't help because of mine problem, sorry, but I'm trying to do my best. Just remember Mike, you're special to many ones, for us too. Who would we be if you wasn't here with us? I'm sure I would not be the same person if I haven't met you. I fear don't talk with someone for so long, because I don't want them to forget me, if someone forgets me I feel like I never even existed. In my case Mike, I can't talk a lot with people for my bad English. I lost count about how many times I didn't replied or started to talk with someone afraid they don't like to talk with me because I can't speak with them. Of many persons, you were one of them, but I tried to help you in "not accepting myself" thread because you apparently have a similar problem that I do. You accepted me, that made me feel more comfortable and confident about myself. But just like you, I try to make others see me/keep with me but I whatever I do isn't good enough, even with my best. Something a good friend told me that I remember every time I get down, "Live life like the way you want. What's wrong with that? We're only humans. We make mistakes, but if you know something is right, follow your heart and dreams! Just....please yourself!" If you have the same problem that I do, then just saying this will not solve anything... but just don't forget about it. Sorry, I can't help because of my problem, I feel like an hypocrite. But forgetting about me, thinking in you. I really can't help anymore. I don't want to lie (being hypocrite) to make someone feel better. But never forget I'm always in MSN/Skype, until January 30 of 11AM until 11PM (my time zone, check the times in my Skype), 12 hours (or more) ready to talk with anyone and try to help with anything. Especially you. EDIT: 4 ninjas, just feel like deleting this post because I think it's useless. Oh yea, if I had money, I would get a plane now, go to NY just to talk with ya.
*spits out coke all over the computer screen* MIKE?! One of the most respected people on KHV, is talking about people on KHV not wanting to be bothered with him? THAT Mike? /rant. Sorry, moving on... I get ur problem pretty loud and clear. Ur fairly busy for the majority of the week, and u wanna hang out with people, but u cant because ur so busy. What you have to get through your head is that NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!!! Maybe talk to your boss/manager about your weekend hours, see if you can change them around so you can hang out with people more. I know its not the best advice but it seems like if you clear up some hours occaisionally (by that I mean do different shifts, swap friday and saturday or something like that) then you should have some more time where most people arent busy. Because your only free day at the moment is a Friday, it does tend to be a busy day, you cant beat yourself up for that. To be quite honest, you say that other people have a nice social life and you don't? That's bull. You have the best social life you can have...given your schedule. You have friends from work and school etc, and you mentioned that 'no one really hangs out' so what's the problem? Try and organise something with your work friends or school friends or whatever, people who you KNOW have the same schedule as you. ...Sorry I'm rambling... Basically just keep trying. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right? :D Eventually, SOMEONE won't be busy, and they'll want to hang out with you. Just give it time and keep trying. As for the self confidence thing? MIKE?! Dude, you have absolutely NO REASON to look at yourself in a negative way. And what makes you think nobody on Khv wants to talk to you? I thought you were a friggen celebrity around here...You can't blame yourself for anything, because there's nothing wrong with you! ^And I know this sounds like some confidence speech I ripped from Google, but its seriously not :D In saying all this, I completely get where you're coming from, youare DEFINITELY not pathetic. Everyone goes through those phases where they feel a little alone. If you need someone to talk to, hell, I'm always here :) Drop a PM/VM/Whatever sometime if you like :D
Hey, Mike, I almost didn't post, but I just want to say... Listen to what everybody else has said. There's really no use in me repeating what's been said, but take it from a newbie, you're not unappreciated here on KHV. Actually, you were one of the first names I learned when I first joined, back when I did absolutely nothing except download cutscenes. Your threads and vids about getting through life really helped me a lot, and it's obvious you care about this site and the members who frequent it. As for feeling like you have to do something amazing to be liked, well, I know what you mean. I think, though, you've already achieved that amazing something. You're a great friend. Sorry for getting a bit cheesy, but hey, we're fans of KH, right? It's alright to get a little Sora-y from time to time. XD
Says you, Plums C: *Looks at your post count* Anyways, I know what you mean. I have been bombarded with work and events that I feel like I am never able to chill with my friends and family. Most of the time is because I take night shifts, and when I'm at home, everyone is either at school or work. So some days, I literally go a whole 24 hours without seeing my family. That can really get you down. Not trying to downplay what you go through, but letting you know I feel ya bro. (Not literally) So like what the others said, try to ask ahead of time and let them know you care and want to hang out. Usually being told beforehand allows room for room. As for KHV, I personally think of you as a brother. You are a valued member to me, even when I don't always say it. I'm sure everyone feels the same way. (But not as much, because we partay in podcasts!!!) Just be around more in terms of the forum. Have fun in LP2P, VM people that will make legendary conversations. You are already a very prestigious member. Sorry I'm not much of a rambler. But I hope this helps a bit.
1.Aren't you the most liked person in KH-V?!! O_O 2.If your only day off is Friday then maybe to others it's not their free day so there are time conflicts, am I right? 3.Slow down and loosen up or find a way to get rid of 1 thing you dont really need off your time so you can find a day to hing out with someone or try to switch a day with another. 4.Tell them how you feel and I am sure they will find the time for you :) 5.Not sure if this post is visible because people ignore me a lot online and in real life like Im some ghost x_x
Of course man. If you eve need advise, just ask. But also, listen to yourself as well. Go with what feels right to you.
