What to say to my parents

Now, I don't know where you stand but I've chosen to stay out of the whole religion part of life as I don't lay my problems down and ask someone to solve them for me, I'm more of a lay the cards as I see them" kind of guy. I mean If my mom and dad want to do that and go to church that's fine by me but I kindly ask to be left out of it.

How can I tell them how I feel without them trying to bring me back into the fold as they say.
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Umm, well seriously, you should just tell them outright. I mean, if you try and beat around the bush, they might not take it very well, but getting it straight out sometimes just helps. I've kinda got the same thing. I don't really wanna get dragged into the whole religion thing. It's not like I don't believe in religion, I just don't want to take it as seriously as some people think I should

 

My only suggestion is that you outright tell them how you feel.
Beating around the bush, as Aqua said, will eventually cause problems.

One thing you could try is to set the mood before telling them.

 

Yeah, it's not like I don't think god exists and Jesus as well but having grown up and I'm 20 now gearing up for college I scared that they'll drag me into it using the live under my house my rules excuse and it bugs me. I just don't think religion plays an active role in my life right now and I want my parents to respect my decision, leave me be and not drag me along with them.

 

well, if you're 20, it's not like they can drag you down. You're most certainly able to decide if you want to do what you want

 

I can't say I'm fond of your decision but I'm not about to force you to pick one either.
My advice to you would be to wait until your parents are available to talk and that would be the time to tell them. Don't beat around the bush though, that only makes the situation worse.

 

They can't make you go if you're over 18, period. But just tell them in a respectful way that you don't feel the need or desire to go as well. If you don't make it a huge deal, it shouldn't be one. But it's hard to tell really from just a post. Are you parents extremely committed to church?

 

no, we stopped when I was 9 and it's been that way till now and I feel it just doesn't suit me now and I prefer to see things as they are and I want to follow my own path through life. I'm a nice guy with a care-free attitude. It's just that they've always said they respected my decision yet turned around right after and basically told me too bad.

 

actually, if they're his parents, they can technically kick him out of the house once he's 18 or older.

 

Indeed.

But they still can't make him go to church. C:

 

yeah, that they can't force him to do. In fact, did you even tell them that? If you don't want to go to church, tell them. You're most certainly old enough to make that choice

 

thanks, you've all been wonderful to help me out. I don't know how I can ever thank all of you. :crying:

 

They might being parents and all, but your a grown man. You are fully capable of making your own decisions and they need to respect that. They can't force you to fo anything you don't want to. Try to lay it on them gently. Because being a religious parent this would be the last thing they would want their child to tell them. Try not to beat around the bush either like others have stated, it just makes it harder. Remind them your not giving it up completely, but like you said, that you don't see it playing an active role in your life. It may or may not ease them a bit. But it doesn't hurt to try.

 

One thing you should tell them is that if they force you then it will put you off rather than make you want to go. Tell them it's not currently your style of worship and that you would find it more beneficial to wait or find some other church (as some styles of churches don't work for some people, it varies like what sort of music each individual likes).

You could also, if you wanted, pray about it. You don't have to be religious to do so all you have to do is talk.

 

Also, I want to tell them but the words always get locked up in my mouth and can never get it out.

 

This is natural, you should try and relax yourself at first as it may help, do this by whatever means neccissary like playing games or listening to music. It's a fear reaction, all you do is you force it out of you or do it at a point in the day when you don't care as much, like just after you get out of bed (you are usually more confident when you just wake up). Also keep in mind the fact that if you don't then you will have to keep going to church, that may motivate you.

 

thanks, I just don't want them to say they respect it then turn around and tell me too bad. I mean, we're going through alot of stress at the moment like were waiting for the decision on my mother's social security claim, my brother's school is snooping around in our family's business again, and my dad's last living blood relative is dying of cancer. I view it as I see it and deal with it accordingly. Just because my family has problems doesn't mean they need to break down and hope god will wisk them away I prefer action over wishing. And on the whole I feel I just don't need it right now.

 

Well alright, how about just going to church for them? It may mean more to them than you think, you can sit there and just not listen or day dream, but your family may be hurting and if they are relying on God then you should just show them support. I think it'll be a nice thing to do and when you move out then you don't have to go to church by your parents accord.

 

First I would like to say that (among other Christian norms) I don't approve of sitting back and waiting on god to make it all work. There have been times being a Christian has made my life harder, and in biblical history it was far worse. The point is not that god will give you an easy life, but that god will equip you to take on issues bigger than yourself. I keep a shard of clay on my desk to remind me of that, based on Jeremiah 19:10. And yes, there are times of "rescue," but far more often it is about setting the stage for you to move. This applies to a lot of Christianity, if it bothers you look into it. Oftentimes there is something to it. Maybe it requires you seeing it from a different angle, or maybe the Christians you know are doing something wrong.

But on to your actual question. I agree with Ienzo a lot here. First, in times of stress like these it might be best to just go with the motions. It would add stress to your family to see you rejecting something they believe, and it is just a block of time each week of you being bored. If you really don't want to go, then say something like it isn't for you at this point in your spiritual life, and being forced to go might do more harm than good to your outlook on Christianity.

I don't know your household, but I have a hunch you are exaggerating what would actually occur out of fear. Just relax and get it over with. I think the stress of anticipating it is worse than the actual event will be.