umm, guys this is my first poem? , okay so please read it , and give me some Cnc... how are you feeling today? is that box treating you well? i was wondering if you remember. of, course you do , though today . i came to remind you, again. i brought these flowers, the ones you loved. now it seems so easy to tell you how i really feel. was it really that hard to understand how i felt? was it really that hard for you to listen to me.? i wonder where are your so called friends now do they come visit you often?. no, do they , am i the only one here now... i waited so long for you....i guess i should have done something. and when i finally tried, it was so late..... was it that hard for you to hold my hand as i so many times tried to held yours?. was it really that hard to, actually wait for my heart to reach you? was it really that hard for you to understand that i loved you? i would have waited for you, even if it took years. or i would have followed you. i was there in front of you why didnt you stop and hold me. the last time.....i saw you.....i..held back so much. i wanted to tell you....but you more than anyone knew..... that my heart belonged to you. and i was always there for you. we just realized it...too late. but, i hope wherever you are my tears reach your heart.
This is a first for you so I'll say you have more than enough room to improve. This isn't really a poem so much as a lament. There's no visible structure or rhythm from where I stand, and it's written with a very prose like form. I suggest reading a lot of formal poetry and getting a feel for that before diving into free verse, it's easy to get caught up in the emotionally driven "there is no wrong" type style. That said, the sentiments are there and the idea is workable, but this is definitely lacking in execution. Keep working though, everyone has some potential to do great things.
yeah, i didnt exactly work on any rhyme because, i didnt exactly wanted it to be a poem. but youre right.
