Alright I'm going to pose a question to you all, although it applies to my life I don't really need help with it so much as curious as to what you guys would do in the given situation. Let's say you've known someone for 7 years or so, give or take, you've come to the realization over this period that you love them and want to be them. The person you care so deeply for isn't ready to have relationship and says you'll have to wait for whatever amount of time until she's/he's ready. You spend most of your time together anyways because you're best friends, but you want that extra mile(cuddling, kissing, that stuff people dating do) and they'll push you away if you try anything more than hugs(their "bubble" for instance). My question being would you wait? You know you love the person, but will you wait for them? That means not dating someone else in the meantime, etc. In my case I've waiting long enough now and there isn't anyone else I'm interested in(hard to get seems to be my life's motto, derp) so I'll wait, but would you?
I wondered if you would ask this question. For you, I admire your resolve. Just know the choice your making is not an easy one. There will be stress and arguments along the way. Not to scare you, just telling you what to prepare for. What I would do, though one. I mean there are people I thought I could wait for........but that isn't happening. I would do whatever felt right in my heart. I know that isn't a solid answer, but using logic and following the mind is harder for me to do. I tend to follow my heart.........even if it has brought me pain.
Had an important talk with her yesterday that helped with my resolve, we've been through allot which is probably why we can make it work. Trust me I know, I've had enough stress than ever needed(but we're teens, it's never unstressful). Occasionally we get annoyed with one another, but at the end of the day we both know that we can count on each other and I trust her with heart. I think following your heart is dangerous, but nothing worth getting was ever easy. Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.
That's good. And I know that's bad.........but the mind is just as deceitful at times. and on that last quote.............try it sometime.............
If I love her, I'd definetly wait. But if she is never ready in maybe 1-2 years MAX, I'd then move on. I am really patient at times.
This all depends. Waiting is fine, but waiting takes time. Time where other things could have been done than simply waiting. It is a cost reward system at it's most basic. Will I get more out of this is if I wait or leave? For me, it would dpend on my feelings, my relationship with them, the time I would theoretically have to wait and the reason we are waiting in the first place. ThHere are a number of valid reason why someone needs to wait, but some that aren't. Fear of the relationship is no good excuse, the more you fear the more you won't be able to see it working out. If they were waitng to get over that fear than I wouldn't wait long, simply because if they fear having a relationship with me, then they have a fear of me in some capacity, they don't see how I can be with them. Which is wasting my time and there time completely, so I would end the possibility quickly. But, in the end, it would all depend on the factors I mentioned before. Maybe I would feel differently in the situation. Is it really? Some days we agree, some days we doubt. But in all days we live with what we have and haven't done, I suppose.
This. Should you really put your love life on hold? It it worth it? Will your feelings ever change? Will her feelings ever change? What if she finds someone else? All these are things you must consider. If you have considered them thoroughly, and decided that it's worth the wait. Wait. If you are in doubt, you shouldn't be held back. Personally, I've waited. I've waited for two years now, though in my case, she said it won't happen. I have had other women in the meantime, though. I waited before that as well, only then I just waited for a few months. Didn't work out then either. But, if you are actually not interested in anyone else, wait. Wait until you find someone else. Keep in mind; Just because you're waiting, doesn't mean you won't find someone by accident.
seriously think about this: Is it worth it? And don't just bluntly say 'OMG YES!' because you supposedly 'love' this person. I understand 2-3 years tops, but 7? I say wait, but try to look at other people. Who knows? This girl may NEVER be ready for you, and how are you gonna feel after that? Bottom line: You don't want to have to wait FOREVER for this girl who may or may not like you, when there may be another girl out there who is, dare I say, better, that you haven't found yet? For me personally: 3 years ago I told a guy I liked him. Quote, "I just wanna be friends." Ouch, right? 2 years later and I stopped waiting for him. While I've started moving on and liking other guys, I still can't quite shake the feeling that something could've happened between us, but I've gladly accepted that it will probably never happen. In many cases, you're a lot like me. You have a problem letting go of this supposed 'love of your life.' Trust me, get out there and start meeting other people, it will be good for you. Unless you're absolutely sure that she will eventually want to have a relationship with you. Do I smell crap?
I suppose I didn't word that right, I meant I've been friends with said girl for 7 years, I've dated a couple of times in that span, it's just the past half a year that we've been trying to go out. Also there are reasons she isn't ready to go out that I can understand. Of course that would be crushing, but I've had short relationships that didn't work, I want to date someone I know will be in it for the long run when their ready. Awful statement that appears to happen all too often, I swear it's like some people be blind. In which case I am certain of, as I said it's just that waiting will be necessary. I've been dumped, cheated on, and lead on. Most of these experiences have gotten me better weathered to handle a storm. Okay give me a break. xD It was 1am when I wrote that out, I derp at such moments.
I would almost certainly wait. I am an opportunist, so I would not wait long before pouncing, but I would not give up under any circumstances. When I set out to love someone, I am thorough about it. It ceases to be a cost and reward system; I either have them (I am happy) or I do not (I am not happy). I am very picky for these reasons. Contrary to what everyone else is saying, I agree with this. Before I bothered with loving people, I felt completely indifferent to my reality and was not held down by anything. I had no goals, no passions, nothing to care about. Loving someone, opening the valve, polarized me. I became far different from how I was only weeks previously. I do not see this as a bad thing. If you argue that it is not better to have loved and lost, then I posit that every love will end in a loss. Whether one of you dies or lives long enough to lose interest, your love will end in loss; no bond can escape time. It is better to have loved because it enriches life while you have it. Would you rather live an exciting and dangerous life, or a boring and safe one? That is the question here. I, for my part, will take the exciting and dangerous life in accordance with what I see as my potential for success. I am gambling, and if I lose, then at least I played the game and I am not left wondering what would have happened if I did. Experience is everything to me, and I will not regret any action simply because it harms me if it teaches me something about myself.
I suggest copying it and removing the colors, and reading it that way. Or simply select it. Your post will be deleted. If you still need it, then here is the first post without formatting.
Ah. I’ve been in this situation before. Yes, I would wait. If I really loved them, I would wait until they’re ready. If the aforementioned person does not love me as much, then I would let go and move on. How do you know if that person loves you enough? Ask them.
People do not always tell the truth. Some play games, some don't want to hurt you, and some even can not even really understand their feelings for you. Hearts are so easily swayed when they are confused or disinterested If love was as simple as a 'yes I love you' or 'no I do not' then the whole excitement and bond that it creates would be dry and dull. Love is not straightforward for anyone or any couple.
Well, you do have to understand first of all where this person comes from. I mean, there should be a reason to why he or she doesn't want a relationship. I'm in the same place, I'm not ready for relationships (AT ALL LOL) either and that's because of something I went through something in life. But for the actual question (derp), I would wait. I would wait forever, maybe. Especially if this person was a best friend. Yeah, the feeling of liking that someone a lot is there but I don't think it would be much of respect to the person or respect to yourself if you let this break the current relationship. The relationship shouldn't wait at all. I think it's nice if you tell him or her because at least she or he knows. It could go one way or another, this person feels annoyed that it lead up to that (very unlikely) or the person respects that, maybe finds it awkward but lets it go (most plausible since it is a best friend). But in the end, this person knows you care for him or her very, very much and I think that's really important. A best friend will always be there for you, you may want a little more than that - a title to it, and more closeness - but let it be. This person cares for you too and does love you. The best way you can look at this is that you are with that person. You can see this person all the time - any time even! This person just isn't ready yet, just wait and stay with that person. If you're there for that person and I'm sure vise-versa. Just be with this person. Spend time together, have fun, let that feeling just keep wanting you to be with this person - it'll let her get the idea too and maybe she's not ready for a relationship but she's ready for you.
I've found that if there is even the slightest hint of love coming from the other side, it's only a matter of time before it blossoms. If that's the case, waiting is all you need to do. And on the subject of all "perks" that come with dating, that's not really a very well-defined line for me. A friend of mine (who happens to be female) and I end up cuddling to some degree whenever we hang out. There was one kiss on the cheek (Her>Me) as a "Thank you" for going to her school's Homecoming dance with her. So my thoughts on it are that you should make sure the other person knows that you need him/her, but do your best to act independent. It's a weird combination, but it works.
Is the purple text that hard to read?.. I really jumps out on the lite style. It's alright, I'll admit I didn't do an amazing job of laying out the circumstances. Very well put. That's how I go about it, I've been best friends with her for so long for a reason. We do just about everything together to begin with, we have fun and we both know that we love and care about one another. The reasoning for not putting a title to it is complicated, she's been through allot the past year and half, I've been going through it with her. It's somewhat busy at the moment too with work, school, and her sister. Which is basically why I wasn't asking for help in this thread, because I know what I'm going to do, I'll go to the ends of the earth with her. I was looking for the rest of you all's stories and feelings on the subject of waiting for someone(although I'll say that the feedback has helped me). For my case she and I mess with each other on regular basis and I've pecked her a few times when she does something awesome. It's just not the general feeling of closeness, the feeling that you're the only other guy outside of the family that's going to cuddle with her. That's one of the next steps. I know exactly what you mean by the needing, yet independent. Especially in my case it's very important.
I would wait,just because I am a romantic and when I really love someone,I really love them. And besides,as someone said (I am much too lazy to look back and see who),just because your waiting doesn't mean you won't find someone else. And I still have Tim Curry
