There's something that's been bothering me for a year

I've just, there was a guy, back when I was in high school, and the moment I saw him, I felt a strange connection, but also the feeling that I needed to help him with something, but I didn't know what really. I couldn't even stand him, he was obnoxious, and snotty, stubborn, rude, and worst, cruel.

Then I saw another side of him as I got to know him more through choir, and he was actually really troubled with stuff, he had no father, and his mother was nice, but she wasn't sensitive toward him as a person, or a son, and I could feel how sad he was, but as I got to know him more and more, and he turned really cool in my eyes, and I thought he could actually be a good person. One night I invited him to my dad's house, and he kissed me out of nowhere and said that he'd wanted to do that for a really long time. I told him that I thought he was really cool.

It was terrible, and awkward and adorable the way he kissed me, and I was mostly amused at first, then I was charmed, then after weeks, and more goings-on between us, I started to fall for him. He was probably the first boy I ever fell in love with. I've been with people, but I've never loved anyone like I loved him. I just wanted to be with him, but protect him at the same time, and he made me so happy to be around.

Over the summer we pretty much had a summer fling type relationship, and it's still, looking back on it, one of the best summers of my life.

School started and things changed. He still kissed me, he still stayed with me, but he... he was different, more aloof, he didn't speak to me anymore, unless he just wanted to make a crude crack about my breasts or body, and it hurt, it hurt really bad. He broke up with me, and I'm ashamed to say that I waited until he broke up with me out of nowhere to tell him how I felt about him, and how happy the summer made me.

After that, we didn't speak for weeks, then before a choir concert, where I had to sing a duet with him, he told me I looked sad, and kissed me for the first time since we'd been together. I asked him what that meant, and he told me that I looked sad and he did it to cheer me up. After that I became so happy, thinking he must be wanting to get back together with me. We sang, and it was great, and I tried to talk to him after the concert, and he just, he kissed me again, and then crushed my heart into tiny mashed gumps, saying that he wasn't interested in me, or dating me again, then he kissed me again. I started crying and backed away from him, and all he could say was, "What's wrong?" as if he was completely oblivious.

I let him do this to me for far too long before I forced myself to stay away from him after he asked me all the time to just come over and have sex with him, and it just hurt me, and destroyed me on the inside. Every time he would kiss me, I would think, oh god, he must still care about me. He didn't though, and then he started dating this girl Maddi, and just, that was it. I couldn't be near him, or see him, or even be in choir anymore because of him. I asked him, months later, why he did what he did to me, and he told me, "I wanted to know if I could hurt someone."

My heart is still hurting, not over him, but over this situation, because, I just... I've never been able to be affectionate toward a guy ever again after that. I need help, and I don't know how to fix it, or stop being scarred by the situation. Did anyone read my story? In the writer's nook? I wrote that short story about the exact situation where he started dating Maddi. I'm over that now, but it really shows how in love with him I was, and he hurt me so badly, and I don't know how to get over it. How would I? Where should I start? I'm so tired of being closed-minded when it comes to males. I don't want to be, it's just not the first time a stupid boy has hurt me, but it was the most horrifying, and painful.

 

It will take patients and time to heal, but eventually things will be a lot better. There are many men out there who will definitely treat you right. And one day, you will find that one guy just for you ^^

When you are young the heart rules the head and I think everyone experiences something similar to this at least once in their lifetime.
However, you just have to move on and look forward to better things.

 

In all honesty, the guy sounds like a d*ck. You've let one manipulative jerk hurt you, and so now the ENTIRE male population is to blame. Its like, 'Hey, I don't like you, I'm just gonna kiss you and smash all your hopes and dreams about us just for the sake of it'. Really, he sounds top-notch -_-

Glad you are at least trying to get over it, and I'm also glad that you don't want to be so closed-minded. Its good. You gotta trust that there are tons of good guys out there, and they can and will treat you properly. I myself have been in a similar experience, where a guy I liked rejected me and then went out with another girl like a month later. It hurt like a *****, yeah, but you know what I did? I moved on, I became friends with some other guys. Hell, I'm 17 and I only just got out of my first relationship. The key to all this is patience, confidence and positive thinking. You WILL find a good guy, because there is one out there for all.

 

Well, a huge part of me moved on to girls, I like girls, they're sweeter, I can take care of them, I can protect and be there for them, I'm mainly talking about an ex-girlfriend here, but I really loved her, but more of an affectionate type love, not the type like, "I saw her and my heart started racing and I could just stand rooted to the spot forever because she just looked at me" type head-over-heels love.

But as I said, I don't want to rule out the male species entirely. This isn't the first time I've been hurt, I've been hurt in worse ways by guys, but this was the most painful to me, everything else was easy to get over, but with Chris, I still question why he did what he did, because he just seemed to change in the course of six weeks, and it broke my heart, and I can't understand, nor can I understand why it hurt me so much, when other things haven't.

I just want to be able to like people again. I'm tired of walking around scowling at a guy because he's attractive, or disliking a guy automatically if he has a nice voice. I want to get over this situation, but I'm unsure of good ways to do so.

 

Here's my advice. That guy was a total idiot and a self-absorbed a**. You were tricked and duped by him. The thing is not every guy is like that, and if you want to live your life normally again. I would suggest you avoid him, and forget about him. I would suggest that you be more careful about guys from now on. Don't hate all guys, and try to be more sure about who you're talking to. That would help you to stop scowling at every guy you see. As for you to not get hurt again, you should slow things down a lot. Taking things on the fast lane is never a good idea, and if your not sure about another guy ask your friends and family and try to get to know him better. Be friends and if you are 110% sure that he's completely good and everyone else thinks so too that's when it's safe to proceed. Things like this happen all the time, it's important to move on and just forget about the bad people.

 

Well, I dated a guy for about six months, and just broke up with him a few weeks ago. I didn't feel attracted to him, and my heart was rather aloof in the relationship in general. I tried so hard to love him, because I could look in his eyes and tell he loved me. He never told me though, and I think it's because he knew I wouldn't respond the same way, and it was hard on the both of us. My big regret is that I let it drag on for six months. I shouldn't have, and it was wrong of me to do so, I was just hoping that I would feel something, because he was amazing, and a great boyfriend, and he really cared about me, something that I've rarely found in any relationship. the problem was just that nothing was there on my part, and it was making me miserable.