Okay, right. This is the first part of somthing I've been working on for a year, and I wanted to know if I was just wasting my time on it... So please tell me what you think and if people like it I'll put up some more once I've done it... I've spent most of the year getting the plot sorted and doing concept sketches and planning how I was gonna write it... So... Yeah tell me what you think. Two black-cloaked figures were standing in the shadows, embers of a fire long since extinguished glowing red-hot in the distance. They were watching a teenage boy who had just collapsed in to a sobbing wreck alone in the midst of the cinders. “He’s only a kid. 14 at the most, and he’s just lost everyone. He’s all-alone in the world now. And you expect me to kill him!” “Yes. He’s the last and it’s your job to destroy them, and you know it. To kill without thinking, Kagea, The Final Shadow. The last thoughts of the unloyal.” “Yes. But I’m not going to do it anymore. I’m not going to kill to help your plans anymore Rïan, ‘sir’. You and the rest of the frickin’ The Order can stick your evil crusade where the sun don’t shine. I can’t do this anymore; I don’t hate the universe enough.” Kagea clicked her fingers and disappeared without a trace. “The stupid fool. She won’t get far. Oh well, I always wanted this particular pleasure for myself.” A rocky spear appeared in his hand and he thrust it towards the boy. There was a thud followed by a deafening silence. ***That was how I left the Order of Moonlight. Total dun dun dah huh? Can’t believe I said all that, load of sentimental shi.... Anyway, as you know from all that my name is Kagea, well it was. After that I ran away from the Order, left behind my friends and my home. I changed my appearance so I couldn’t be hunted down. And took the name Auria Tyne to distance myself from them. I prefer Auria, it sounds nicer. Helix always calls me Cookie because it sounds like a type of biscuit. I don’t like to talk about my past; it’s to dark. It’s full of things that I’m ashamed of. Including my time in the Order. But as death looms over me I’ve got to share it with the world so that others know to avoid the Order. My once best friend Denzien has me in her clutches and I don’t know how long I’ve got, could be hours, or could be years. My story starts before I even heard of the Order of Moonlight, back before I was ‘born’… I was created by a scientist of a distinguished biotechnology lab on the orders of The Order of Moonlight. My ‘father’ is the founder of the Order, High Priest Käze. He was the head of the temple of Söl the moon god. In the beginning, 100 years ago, it was a small, but well respected, organization set up to protect our worlds from the Light. The Light would of spelt the end of the Darkness and all who lived there. Darkness may be, well dark but without it what would the universe be like? Back on track, High Priest Käze was my ‘father’ and my ‘mother’ was Princess Demik of Eternal Shadow. She was rather like our tear away princess, Demitryx; the name similarity is no coincidence. Her parents wanted her grow up to follow in her footsteps, to become a great warrior. And she did. But she took after Demik in more than one way. You, see Demik also had a conscience. That’s a terrible thing in a warrior, and believe me, I know. I also take after her in that way. I can do terrible things. Great, but terrible things and I have. But after a while it mounts up, then you realise, what have I done! The scientist originally refused to do it, saying it was more than his jobs worth to create a fully functional human being. But then the leader asked him if it was more than his life’s worth to decline. After many attempts with mice, cats, things like that, he tried with Käze and Demik’s DNA and I was created. I don’t hate the poor guy, and I would never say I wish I never existed but I wonder what would have happened if he had said no. Would they of asked someone else? Would they of agreed? Would I still be here now telling you? Who know? I’m sure that don’t. That, in short, is where I come from. My childhood however is a different story, and much less Sci-Fi: I grew up in The Castle of Eternal Shadow with the Order’s leader and her daughter, Denzien. We became close friends, you see Denzien was a little shy and found it hard to talk to her cousins as they’re royalty. And after I was ‘born’ I needed a family to raise me. So, as their leader, Denzien’s mother took me in. I grew up with Denzien and we were inseparable. Even later in life, we joined the Order together, quite a while after the Great War. Denzien’s mother was long gone but the new leader, Rïan still had an immense amount of respect for Denzien; the daughter of the woman of had taught him everything. But my true home is Orion, more precisely the town of Karanasta. I live with my best friend Helix, his brother Sai and their grandparents. I think I mentioned Helix earlier. He’s the one who calls me Cookie. He’s sweet, a little cocky, but sweet. Helix can be a royal pain in my butt, but hey. If it weren’t for him, I’d have died two years ago: ***It was a dark, stormy night. The waves lashed the cold, grey sand and whipped against the rough, black rocks lining the beach. In the midst of the swirling, foam-topped waves a girl wearing a knee-length dress as black as midnight which made her long hair look even whiter was lying limply on her side with one arm outstretched. Then, the figure of a boy came towards her out of the shadows. He shook her franticly and rolled her onto her back. She coughed violently and gazed into the boy’s eyes. “Who are you?” she asked. “I’m Helix. Now come on, let’s get you into the cave.” Then a branch from a nearby tree dropped down next to them “It’s not safe out here.” He added laughing. ***I don’t know how I got there, or why he was there. But I’m not one to doubt help when it’s offered, and he seemed like a nice guy. And I don’t know why he helped me either. I guess he wanted to play the hero, which is something he’s never been able to do. Not since his parents passed away. Despite all the medical-science, darkness and death that’s been pumped into me over the years I’m now in my last year at high school. Taking my exams and getting stressed with my hair, 17 years of windswept and interesting does that to you though. So I had a very normal, boring, ordinary life. Until they showed up again…
damnit! don't keep us in suspense! oh and no offense but the majority of it was writing in past text, suggesting that it's not currently happening O.O but then again you might've meant it to be like that...
The second paragraph is ment to be current the rest is past, then the rest of the story is in past, until the sort of 'Boss Level' moment... Hee Hee....
lol I found it! ^-^ This story is wonderful! One whole year?! I can see why it took that long! ^.^ very interesting... I wonder who "they" is... please write more! :P
lol, thanks Destiny. And they will become clearer... *Twilight zone music* Sorry I haven't posted anything mew recently. But coursework is getting the better of me... >< I'll post a section of another chapter as soon as I finish it.
