The story of the zombie furry invasion

THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO IN THE FUTURE YOUR SON WILL TRAVEL SIDEWAYS IN TIME TO DELIVER A DIRE MESSAGE TO THE LOLLY POP KING IN THE 2.537TH DIMENSION. THE MESSAGE WILL CAUSE THE LEGIONS OF CANDYLAND TO RECLAIM THE CANDYCANE FORESTS AND VARIOUS TIMESHARES IN THE BAHAMAS WHICH WILL BE USED BY THE DUKE OF FROSTING AND HIS SON, WHO SECRETLY BEING A FURRY, WILL DRIVE THE LOCAL POPULACE INTO A FRENZY SO FIERCE, DRESTROY THE FABRIC OF TIME CAUSING A STRAIN OF THE ZOMBIE VIRUS INTO THE PRESENT TIME.

UNBEKNOWNST BY A YOUNG ABORIGIANAL GIRL, KNOWN AS MARY SMITH, SHE WILL CONTRACT THE VIRUS ALLOW IT TO MULTIPLY IN HER BODY WITHOUT SUCCUMBING TO THE DISEASE BECAUSE SHE IS A FURRY, AND THE VIRUS KNEW SHE WAS A FURRY AND REALISED THAT A FURRY ZOMBIE WOULD BE FAR TO EVIL, EVEN IN A ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE, SENDING THE VIRUS INTO REMMISION. FORTUNATELY FOR YOUR TIME SHE HAPPENS TO BE A PIG. BEAR. MAN.

THIS MAKES HER STARKLINGLY UNATTRACTIVE AND EVEN EHARMONY REJECTED HER APPLICATION TO ONLINE DATING AND NEVER BE ABLE TO RECEIVE THE KISS FROM HER BELOVED KNIGHT IN SHINNING ANYTHING. SHE WILL BE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR TIME, BUT SHE NEVER BE LOVED, OR LOCATED BECAUSE MARY SMITH IS QUITE A COMMON NAME AND PHONE BOOKS DO NOT LIST RACE OF HAVE THUMBNAIL PICTURES TO RANDOMLY GUESS WHICH MARY SMITH IS ABORIGIANESSE, A BEAR, A PIG, OR A MAN. HER LIFE WILL END AS LONELY AND UGLY AS HER LIFE. SHE SUFFOCATES IN A GIRAFFE COSTUME TEN SIZES TOO SMALL IN HER HOT ATTIC INCREASING THE DECAY OF HER FLESH INTO A PILE OF ASH NEVER TO BE REOPENED BECAUSE NOBODY CARED ABOUT HER. EVER.

MEANWHILE, THOUSANDS OF YEARS AHEAD IN THE PAST, THE 7TH NAZI REICH WILL TRY TO ELIMINATE THE LAST OF THE BOUVINE-CYBORGS BY SENDING BLANKETS INTO THEIR STRONGHOLD LACED WITH MAD COW DISEASE. WEEKS LATER THEY CHECK THE FORTRESS FOR ANY SURVIVORS, INCLUDING THE ATTIC. THEY FIND NO CORPSES OF THE COW-BOTS BUT ONLY A FINE DUST WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE THE CORPSE OF MARY SMITH. WHEN APPLIED WITH MOISTURE THE VIRUS STARTED TO SPREAD. THIS WILL LEAD TO THE DOCUMENTARY OF CALL OF DUTY 5: NAZI ZOMBIES. THROUGH SEVERAL NUCLEAR WAR, THE SEVENTH REICH HAS THIRD REICH TECHNOLOGY, EXCLUDING THE RANDOMIZING WEAPONS BOX SPREAD THROUGHOUT VARIOUS GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS TO SERVE AS A SMART WEAPONS VENDOR TO DISTRIBUTE THE APPROPRIATE WEAPON FOR EACH COMBAT NEED, BUT BECAUSE THEY WHERE NAZI DICK ****S, THE BOX RARELY WORKED, CAUSING ALL THE NAZIS TO DIE.

SO ENDING THE STORY OF HOW A FURRY WILL COMPLETELY, EVEN THOUGH PASSIEVLY, KILL ALL OF THE NAZIS, AND DISCOVER COLD FUSION.

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