The sorrow bird

A poem I made yesterday....Its not that good, but it explains somethings in my life. Also my opinions. Please tell me what you think....

The sorrow bird.

Waking up too see nothing around
The protectors of me blank and weak
With the roof of light now black and keeping me captive
And the sorrow bird, punishing me

My eyes plain and swollen with heavy tears
Mouth spilling out words of uneasy and unwelcoming
Once a happy face now a false appearance
And the sorrow bird, scorning me

Gun shots are becoming the national song
Kids suffering and crying from our wars
The world, turning into a grey planet
And the sorrow bird, encouraging it

Dark becomes light when one appearance comes clear
Sweet, sweet concerns and trust are shared
Beautiful warmth of sympathy
And the sorrow bird, trying to destroy it

A gathering of the warm-hearted
Yet some abuse and terrify, for they abandon
To some respect and love their descendants
And the sorrow bird, hating them

For the thoughts of changing
They reside in my cold mind
Uninvitingly as they wisp and flow into nightmares
And the sorrow bird, clapping with delight

 

all i can say is that i think this poem dose describe alot of things perfectly. that our world is caught up in war and alot of people are full of hatred, but there is one thing that i protest, not everyone is bad, and you have to be less pesimistic, try to think a little more positive, no im not saying think that our world is a perfect and completely happy planet, but think of alot of the good that our world has to offer

 

Wow, this is awesome...great job! It's very detailed, with a lovely choice of words, and about the war...you totally got it on the nose...