Chapter One ———————————————————————————————————— I’ve always been alone. Even in a crowd. No one’s ever cared; why should they? I am nothing. I do not exist. Yet at the same time, I do. Why? WHY? I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW!! As I sat on the edge of Twilight Town’s clock tower, I saw the group of teenagers head over here again. Again? Why do they come? Time and time again. They bring their smiles with them every time. WHY WON’T THEY STOP?! Why won’t they stop?! They destroy my silent peace every time they come up here. Actually, I’m lonely. They can’t see me; this town isn’t real. This town is just a digital illusion. But I wish they COULD see me. As the group sat and talked, I thought of some thing. Is there possibly a way they can sense my presence? Even if it is an illusion; is there a way they can? The only way to know is to find out. So I transported myself inside of the old mansion, and headed toward the secret entrance. + Half an hour later+ “WHAT?!†The man wrapped in bandages yelled. “You heard me; I want to become part of this digital realm.†“But-“ “But nothing. I am begging you. Please.†I was kneeling now. Pleading that I could be part of this town; even if it was not real. “Why would you want to?†he questioned, calculating. “I-I……I am……lonely.†OKAY GUYS!!! Sorry this is so short, this is another story I'll be working on along with 'Mister Sarahbrough's school for the specially gifted'. This chapter is kinda depressing, isn't it?
Not bad. Good start, good emotion, but not bad. I'd say add more description, and could you make the font smaller or something? And make double breaks between paragraphs or what not? I find it distracting. O_o But that's just me.... Sounds good, though! I'll definitely be looking forward to updates. =)
:3 I'm sorry if you guys felt it was short. But when I was editing it, "I....I am......lonely." just felt like the PERFECT chapter end. (It was SOOOOOOO tempting, I swear!)
Very interesting.I really liked it.Good description and good emotion.And yes it does come to times where you want to stop because its tempting.Its happening to me several times.Very good.I'm looking forward to reading more.And don't make them short as well.And change the font size.The big letters were kind of distracting me.The color is fine just change the font size to a smaller size.Looking forward to more.
Wow. That was awesome. =D I loved that. xD Short, but very interesting and thought-provoking. I liked it. ^^
XD For you delightful readers info: I've been on vacation for the past week, so this week I'll post some updates. :) Okay?
