I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO incredibly mad that I couldn't get this in by Halloween. >.<;;; My internet suddenly went BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP, and I was like, "DDDX" and it was like, ">DDD" and... There was nothing I could do. GOD, I was so pissed. You guys have no idea. But, whatever... Better late than never, right? This is DIRECTLY inspired an incredible animation I saw on mah favorite site... DA, of course. (Link at the bottom - don't want to spoil it!) XDDD I tried my best to do lots of research to make all of the timeline stuff in this story line up as closely as possible, but... I kind of failed. So you notice anything that doesn't quite fit, history geeks, please be kind and keep it to yourself - I'll develop ulcers if I worry about this stupid thing for much longer! DDDX Happy Halloween, ya'll - hope you got to nom on lots of candies! <333 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Portrait It was a chilly, late-autumn day and a slight breeze sifted through the branches of the nearly-bare trees. A young boy – maybe about fourteen years of age, was trudging through a narrow, twisting trail, muttering to himself. “Curse this wind… Curse my little brother… Curse that infuriating kite with its ACCURSED string!†Thomas lamented to himself, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “Be the precious little child too far in his youth to walk not but TEN minutes into the forest to retrieve his OWN kite? Me thinks not! Mother is spoiling the boy – she never…†He stopped and gaped as he abruptly came to the edge of a small clearing in the forest – a clearing that most people in his village tended to avoid like the plague itself. In the center was a beautiful, yet mysteriously ominous house that was at least a century and a half old. Or, at least, by his calculations, it was. It’d been there for as long as even the oldest widow in the village could remember, but there were no records of it being in the original blueprints of the town. He examined it closely. Sturdy cobblestone bricks boasted powerful, sturdy walls, and the roof was composed of heavy, red tiles that sloped beautifully. Not one shingle was out of place, it seemed – proof of its durability. The double doors for the main entrance were composed of a heavy, oak-like wood and were beautifully – artistically, even – carved in dozens of magnificent designs. Even mother nature had proved to be good to the old house – the walls were tenderly embraced by luscious, green vines that seemed to only enhance its beauty. And hanging above the doorway – blast it all – was the kite, perfectly speared on a spike jutting straight up from the center of the house. “Oh, splendid…†he sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “How on earth am I supposed to get it down? The cursed thing is at least three floors up…†He was thinking about climbing a nearby tree, and walking along the roof until he reached the kite, or even leaving it, when something caught his eye in one of the windows. For a second, he thought he saw the shadow of a person, but he shook his head and dismissed it as of the curtains fluttering in the breeze. But now, he had a simpler solution to his problem. Why not just go inside, climb out of windows in the attic, and get the kite that way? He insisted to himself that the reasoning behind it was because it would be much safer and easier than having to scale an entire tree, but inwardly, he knew that wasn’t the MAIN reason. The main reason was that he wanted to be THAT guy. The one who went into the old, abandoned house and came back with nothing but a shrug and a, “It wasn’t that big of a deal.†The adults thought it was just a rat-infested deathtrap of a house with rotted floor-boards and collapsing ceilings. Going inside of the old mansion was strictly forbidden since it was so old and probably in very bad shape. The children stayed away from it, anyway, though not for the exact reason the adults specified. Among the children, it was rumored that the old mansion was… haunted. Every year, it seemed, a new rumor would surface about some strange boy that no one had ever heard of wandering into the house, never to be seen again. Thomas rolled his eyes. Children, he scoffed inwardly. I do not fear that house! I’m going to walk right in, get my maddening brother’s kite back, and tell everyone that those stories are a whole lot of nonsense! With a dignified nod, he raised his head regally, and began climbing the porch stairs. Hesitating at the heavy, oaken double doors, he turned the warm, brass knob, and slowly pushed one of the doors open. Creeeeeeeeeeak… The first thing he thought was, Heavens, it sure is balmy in here… And, indeed, it was – it seemed as if the crisp, autumn air had vanished completely. It was warm as blood inside of the abandoned mansion. The second thing he thought was, This is quite possibly the most beautiful place I’ve ever set foot in! He’d been expecting to see a run-down sham of a house, but it seemed as new and fresh as the first day it stood. The walls were painted grassy green with white patterns flitting through it. The floor was composed of red-oak heartwood and was adorned with a lush, red rug with golden trimmings. From the balcony above, two identical stair cases curved downward from the second floor, embracing the scenery in a tight hug. The underside of the balcony and staircases sparkled so, that he wondered if they were made of solid gold. Marble busts of several important-looking men and women were placed slightly before the staircases. Pale, dim light filtered in from the windows on the second floor. And there, in the center of it all and placed above an elaborate, granite mantle fireplace, was a giant portrait of a wealthy family of five. Thomas looked around in wonder, slowly closing the door behind himself. “Amazing…†he breathed softly, his eyes taking in the ethereal scene. He could guess by just observing the outside that the place wasn’t as rotted-through as the adults speculated, but this was almost… unreal. He’d been expecting dust… cobwebs… Anything! But the entire place was spotless. Almost as if there was someone still living there. Curious, the boy stepped up to the mantle to get a closer look at the magnificent painting above it, shedding the light jacket he’d taken with him on the trek outside. He wouldn’t need it in the house, as warm as it was. He examined the family in the picture closely, getting an ever-worsening case of the jitters every second he observed them. There were two girls and three men. The two girls were towards the bottom of the painting, the older, more confined one and the younger, more bratty-looking one. The older had her hair in a bun, and was sitting with her hands folded daintily over her lap. A pearl necklace and her low-cut, maroon-colored dress highlighted her long, swan-like neck. Had it not been for the stern expression on her face, he might’ve even taken a fancy to her. The little girl was standing beside her with her long, black hair falling down her shoulders as she glared spitefully into the real world. She was wearing a fancy, white dress. That one… he decided, probably frightens me out the most… Shivering, he decided to move to the upper half of the painting. In the upper left corner was a pudgy sort of man with a suit and a wrist watch. He looked quite elderly compared to the rest of the children he was standing with; what little hair he had left was snowy white. Next to him was slender, youthful boy with jet-black hair in a tuxedo. His lips were pulled back into a quiet, devious sort of smile. In a stark distinction from the raven-haired boy next to him, was a sorrowful looking blonde boy with spectacles. He seemed to be a lot more commonly dressed than the rest of the people in the lavish painting. Thomas stared at it for a long time. It was beautifully done, but… cold and unflattering in every aspect of the word. Especially the eyes – they seemed… soulless. Ethereal. Even in the temperate climate of the strange, old house, he could feel a cold chill creeping up the back of his neck with every passing second that he gazed at it… The fool that painted this picture wouldn’t have gotten nary a cent from me if it was MY portrait painted as such an abomination… It was then that he noticed a dim, flickering light and glanced down to see a lighted candle resting on the mantle before him. Without a thought, the boy scooped it up and shook his head. I have to stay focused here… I did not come here to criticize the finer points of art – I came to get my idiotic little brother’s kite back. He began climbing the stairs, his preoccupied mind coming up with solutions as to how he could get the kite down safely, yet still be able to leave SOME sort of undeniable proof that it had INDEED been caught atop the top of the house. Upon reaching the top of the stairs, he was thinking of maybe detaching the tail and tying it in a bow atop the spire where the kite had originally been pierced, when he thought he saw a flickering shadow again a little ways down the hall. He turned to face… whatever it was, but it’d suddenly disappeared. … Strange… Thomas shook his head. But probably nothing! he quickly assured himself, brow furrowing. To prove himself that it was INDEED nothing, the boy began approaching the room at the end of the hallway, where the “thing†had disappeared. He blinked, pushing open a door that was already slightly ajar. This one was noticeably less ornamental than the front one, and probably made out of pine instead of oak, but it was just as lovely in a more practical sense. The room inside was a tad bit messier than what he’d seen of the rest of the house, but completely empty. There was a pendulum clock mounted on the wall – still ticking, Thomas observed with a touch of something that absolutely was NOT concern, because that would be foolish – a bookshelf in a corner with some of the books strewn around the floor, a working desk with a chair in front of it, a mirror— Oh, hello, handsome! The attractive face in the mirror broke out into a pleased grin as Thomas strode inside and examined himself, gingerly stroking his chin. Sandy-brown hair, green, intelligent eyes, freckles that highlighted his high cheekbones, pretty good height and build for his age… He flicked a lock of his short hair out of his eyes and stood at a slightly different angle, taking all of his masculine beauty in. It was unfathomable why the girls weren’t falling all over him at school! He had it all – looks, brains, talent… The candle flickered and illuminated something in the background, sparking his interest in seemingly the only thing that he would ever find more interesting than himself. He gasped and whirled around, seeing something yellow glint in the dim candle-light. C… Could those be…?! He gasped, approaching a rather large chest lying open on the ground. “… An entire case of… DOUBLOONS!†he gasped, mind reeling. He placed the candle on the ground and fell to his knees, running shaky hands through the priceless treasure. They were all smooth and cool to the touch. Carefully, he picked up one of the golden coins and nipped on the edge. It was real, alright. He’d ACTUALLY happened upon an entire chest of gold doubloons! He was already considering what to spend it on, when his mind caught up to him. What?! No! He suddenly looked horrified. I can’t take this money! Stealing is a sin! Thy heavenly father forbids it! Then again… he considered after a short pause. … Thy heavenly father would doubtlessly forgive thee for such a minuscule act… No! I can’t take it! This is someone else’s money! That “someone else†has been gone for over a hundred years now. If they aren’t surely dead by now, it is obvious they do not care enough to miss it… And if I don’t take it now, someone else might come in and take it, instead! Besides… he reasoned. Mother could use the money… It’s been so hard on her lately… You know full well that mother would never accept this, had she knowledge of whence it came! She does not NEED to know… But she is bound to ask questions! Then I won’t tell her about it at all! I’ll spend it as I see fit! On things that I want! On things that I DESERVE! A maniacal grin split his face in two. It’ll just be this once! Just this one time and I’ll never do it again! He scooped up a large handful, and shoved the valuable coins into his pocket greedily. He was scooping up his second handful when suddenly, a chilling gale whooshed into the room, extinguishing his candle. The door banged shut with a loud TH-WACK, leaving the boy in pitch-black darkness, trembling with fear. He hadn’t seen anything because he was looking the other way when the wind blew, but he’d heard, very faintly, a sound very much similar to a key turning in a lock. Soon, a tiny rustle sounded, as if the pages of the books were being disturbed, though he felt no wind. There was someone else in the room. And he was locked inside WITH them. His breath hitched a bit in fear. Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock… The clock continued steadfastly, filling the chilling silence. “H…Hello…? He called in an uncharacteristically thin voice. “… Hello…?†Thinking quickly, he dumped everything that was in his pockets back into the open chest. “I… I’m sorry… I wasn’t thinking clearly – usually, I never would have CONSIDERED…†The boy shook his head. “J…Just please release me – I promise never to return. You can even keep the kite!†Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock… The boy shook his head. I have to get out of here! Maybe it was just my imagination that I heard the door lock – it’s probably still open – it has to bethisisinsanetherehastobeawayouttherehastotherehasto!!! Panic slowly enrapturing the boy, he began trying to feel his way back to the door shakily. He cried out as he tripped over something he was sure he didn’t see before when he’d come in. “Ow… Ow… My foot…†he hissed softly. He tried to pick himself up again, when his hand brushed across something. A hand. A cold, clammy, human hand. He immediately drew back with a sharp gasp. Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock… Tick………… The clock abruptly stopped. He jumped to his feet with a panicked yelp, and then a strangled, unconvincing, “Sh…Show yourself! I do not fear you! I am not afraid to fight!†It was then that he felt warm breath on the back of his neck. Petrified with fear, he turned around to face the perpetrator of his demise. Suddenly, another huge gust of wind blew, literally knocking the door off its hinges. Light flooded the room, and Thomas suddenly found himself face to face with… Himself? Thomas choked back a gasp in utter horror. Stretching from the mirror was a gigantic, warped version of himself. His eyes were abnormally huge, taking up nearly a third of his face and completely soulless – almost exactly like the people in that painting. His grinning mouth stretched LITERALLY from ear to ear and was filled with large, wickedly sharp teeth – reminiscent to shark teeth and the corners of his mouth stretched nearly to his temples. His nose was missing entirely, as if his face had to make room for the ridiculous proportions of his mouth and eyes. His nails were as long and sharp as deadly talons from a bird of prey, and his arm was pulled back as if to strike at his face. Before he had time to even register what his eyes were seeing, Thomas felt something clamp around his ankle, and yank him back – so hard that he fell to the ground. The warped image of his own reflection swiped at him with those talon-like claws, but apart from a tiny slash on his cheek, the boy escaped unharmed. Thomas gave a weak cry of disbelief, feeling the cut. It’s real! This is all real! I’m not imagining it- this is proof!!! The thing holding his ankle jerked again, and the next thing he knew, he was zipping through the hallway foot-first, so terrified, he didn’t even know he was screaming. “HEAVENLY FATHER, FORGIVE ME!!!†he shrieked, thinking maybe that this was some sort of divine punishment for his previous sin. “CRUSH ME NOT BENEATHST THINE HEEL – DELIVER ME AND CLEANSE ME ANEW! I BEG of thee!†Terrified out of his wits, he began dragging his fingernails against the floorboards of the house, trying vainly to slow whatever was dragging him. The floor, which had before felt so dense and hard was now warm and as soft as human flesh. Within moments, the “floorboards†were torn to ribbons under his hands, and started oozing a dark, wet, sticky substance… Blood! Thomas shrieked with terror and horror anew, tears springing to his eyes. The house shifted unnaturally and groaned as if in pain. “LORD, DELIVER ME!!!†By then, he had reached the stairs. He was expecting to go tumbling down to his doom, but to his surprise, he shot out straight ahead – floating completely in mid air! He was about to start screaming again, when he noticed something. He gasped, glancing in the direction he was headed. The door! He was headed for the exit! Yes! YES! I’m going to make it! Thank you, Lord! But, alas, he hadn’t even made it halfway before the ornamental rug on the floor writhed and shot forward like a striking snake, catching him by his wrist. He gave a short utterance of pain at the sudden jerk that nearly dislocated his shoulder as he came to a complete standstill in midair, with both ends struggling against each other. He wriggled slightly, trying to free his hand from the sentient rug, but the thing held fast as if it were clamped on. He was going to start trying to pry it off with his fingers, when a series of loud crackling sounds alerted him that something ELSE was going horribly, horribly wrong. He glanced down to see that there was a jagged crack starting at the double doors and running through the center of the floor. A second later, it’d opened into a large, gaping hole. He couldn’t see very far into it, but he could very faintly discern the shape of the pale, ghastly form of a skeleton, all flesh picked clean to the bone. Suddenly, the floor shoot up and snapped at Thomas like an enormous crocodile. He had no doubt that he would have been dead, if whatever was latched onto his leg so steadfastly hadn’t veered off to the left. It was then that his bladder chose to relieve itself. He began tugging at the rug again with renewed vigor, whimpering like a helpless kitten. “O-Our F-Father, who art in h-heaven,†he began meekly, “hallowed b-be thy n-name…†Suddenly, the house began cracking and shifting all around him. Glancing up, he could see that the ceiling was starting to cave in. “Th-Thy Kingdom come… Th…Thy will be done…†The floor snapped up at him again. He swerved to the right this time, but with the ceiling being a fair amount lower than before, it was a much closer shave than before. “On earth as it is in heaven!†A shriek as the front doors burst open with a huge, maleficent gust of wind. Pretty soon, the gust turned into a powerful vacuum, sucking him towards the portrait. “Give us this day our daily bread!†he screamed above the howling wind. His heart pounded wildly as the floor shot up at him again. He writhed in pain as he tried to jerk away his wrist from the possessed rug once more. It was turning blue-ish purple now from lack of oxygen, and if he had to give a wild guess, judging on how it felt at the moment he’d say his foot was, too. He felt as if he were being torn in half. “And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us!†The wind was slicing so hard now that he felt as if his flesh was being torn from his bones. With a start, he realized the wind was SAYING something. He couldn’t quite understand it – maybe this was some sort of demonic language unknown to humans? – but he was certain that he could hear something… “And lead us not into temptation...†Another sickening groaning sound sounded from behind him. Frightened about what it could possibly that he’d be seeing next, Thomas craned his head back to look at the portrait. He blinked, and took another look. All of the images of the people on it were gone! But there was something very strange happening – out of the inky darkness of the empty canvas, there was a shape forming. As it gained more and more sustenance, he could make five separate, clawed fingers. “... AND DELIVER ME FROM EVIL!!!†he shouted frantically as he squirmed and struggled to get free, tears running down his face. “FOR THINE IS THE KINGDOM—†a strangled gasp as the rough fabric of the ornamental rug sliced further into his wrist, “THE POWER—†a wince as the floor snapped at him again – so close, he could feel the wind whooshing past him, “AND THE GLORY!!!†The hand was now up to its elbow in length. It flexed all of its fingers slightly, then rushed forward towards the boy. Thomas howled with terror and twisted one last time. “FOREVER AND EVER!†He squeezed his eyes shut. “AMEN!†He couldn’t tell what happened next. There was a short scuffling sound, and something that resembled a strangled cry, and suddenly he was rocketing through the air again – this time by the laws of physics rather than supernatural aid. Blindly spinning through the air, he slammed into a tree on the outskirts of the clearing, and slumped down with a weak moan. In front of his disbelieving eyes, he could see the house contorting and twisting in on itself. A strange light shone from its open doors and windows as a horrid screeching sound from within got louder and louder. Suddenly, there was a huge flash. Thomas shielded his eyes with a wince, and after a while, blinked and gazed out from under his arm. The entire scene was totally normal – the house was no longer writhing like a snake, the mysterious shrieking was gone, and there was no longer even the slightest breeze. All was still. Gently – innocently, almost – the kite floated down from atop the center spire of the house, and came to rest just outside of the front porch. Without even sparing it a second glance, Thomas fled through the forest, sobbing hysterically. Pride be damned – he wanted to get away from that demonic place as soon as possible! It wasn’t until he had reached the town square did he realize that his bladder wasn’t the ONLY thing that had relieved itself during the frightening encounter. (To Be Continued...) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Original IOSDJERIUOGJREO DESCRIPTION. SO MUCH OF IT. *dies* I actually left out some just because it was getting SO damn bulky, I couldn't stand it. Also, there were some things in the original animation that I changed, but they're SO small, I bet you won't even find them. :> SO MANY SCREENSHOTS GRAAAHOIFBGRJENGVOR Also. VIRTUALLY NO CURSE WORDS. *GLEE* SO PROUD OF MYSELF - YES I IS. 8D 8D 8D Anyways. Yes. There will be a part two. Soon. Ish. Very soon. Ish. I'm SO obsessed with this story right now, gaiz, lol. There's a possibility that there might be a part three, but don't count on it. Just... Don't. K, BAI.
Critiquing this as I go along. The story is far too enjoyable by the way xD Okay, so I can see you've got Thomas speaking in a bit of an old style at the very beginning. "Me thinks not!" seems to much like slang and isn't appropriate to the style. "I think not!" would be much better suited, if not as grand. xD Reminded me of KH with the whole Naminé in the mansion window thing >:3 A bit contradictory, maybe you should have added something here? x3 This made me "D'awww". It's a really nice metaphor x33 Wow, the rest of the story totally encaptured me in it's tale. Your writing style is incredibly informal here, and parts were confusing (who put a lit candle in there?) and I didn't understand what was going on with the cold clammy hand and the shadows. Maybe Im just tired xD I loved the chanting/screaming of the prayer. It was a powerful tool. Giggled at the bladder part xD Nice work. I like it when you post :lolface:
I responded IN the quote because I'mma lazy bish. XDDD Thanks - can't wait until I finish part two! XDDD And, really - look at the original animation! This whole entire story would probably make more sense to you, then. XDDD Peace. <3
