With the Story of the Week Gone I decided to put the New Keyblade War here. I got all the chapters I've written up till now on this thread but I'll stop if this doesn't sound too good. If it seems iffy but interesting than great because the next chapter is gonna be awesome, I promise. Kingdom Hearts The New Keyblade War Prologue: A beautiful rose was blooming in the middle of the desert, a flower in a field that had very few flower bushes, more crab grass. Then out of the blank a man stepped on it crushing it and grinding on it with his foot. “There are no symbols of hope in my kingdom.†Said the cloaked warrior. The man wore robes that were worn by the nobodies in the Organazation XIII myth. Many myths are in the worlds but none as more nostalgic then the legend of the Keyblade, every time when darkness or light grows strong a keyblade master of light or darkness increases the smaller side. The keyblades were created by the Chaser’s the beings that were guardians of the one world. But these are myths and bedtime stories only parts of them are true and some are forgotten, like Sora’s. The man walked up with an army behind him that was composed of Heartless and Nobodies. They continued to march loudly like thunder in a storm and then at last they halted as the cloaked man raised his hand. The army ceased and stood silently. Nobodies can talk but its quite monotone, the only ones thought to have expression are the mythical Organization nobodies Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexeaus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene and Roxas. The cloaked warrior looked at a man who was wearing the armor of the Keyblade Knights or to some known as the Chasers. The man laughed at the fallen body. The man was trying to move with no success. The cloaked figure took off his hood to reveal a face. “Remember me?†asked the man. The Chaser very weary moved his head up and looked at his face. “Xehanort?†Xehanort laughed and nodded his head slowly. He kicked the body of the Chaser out of his way and leaned down to pick up the keyblade that the Chaser contained. His hand glowed as a black aura surrounded it and it transformed to a black keyblade that he had created when his heartless possessed a young boy. Xehanort smiled and raised the keyblade up to the sky the clear sky suddenly became dark as storm clouds began to surround the desert. The Nobody troopers screamed a pushed yell of happiness and cheer for their General’s new weapon. And as the sky blackened a large sound of marching came from the distance. And slowly a figure appeared in black garments woven by fairies. He walked slowly with light seeming to appear in the darkened desert. His army was massive but not as large as Xehanort’s and the army the man possessed was composed of people from so many other worlds. Then at last the leader became more visible, he was a tall young man who had to be twenty five at least. Slowly he drew his main weapon a keyblade that shined beautifully gleaming with light. He also had a shield on his right arm that was identical to the symbol of a dead monarch, he also had a staff used by a great wizard. Xehanort had a slight sigh of amusement at the leader and said quietly, “Sora.†Chapter One- The Funeral The funeral began very slowly, all who were present were very sad some were barely able to hold back the tears in their eyes. For the kind and gentle king of the worlds was dead, murdered ruthlessly by a mysterious figure in the night. The Court Wizard Donald wore his most formal black robe and could not even describe how much he cared for him when King Mickey helped Donald become a wizard. The leader of the King’s knights Goofy was very sad an extreme rarity for a cheerful person but he was blubbering out tears by the time he walked up to the tabernacle and could not say a word but, “Oh, Mickey!!†Sora and Donald had to quickly drag Goofy away from the coffin as he continually sobbed while he was being dragged down the stairs. The last person to speak was Riku. The speech he gave was the most memorable of them all. “King Mickey, was a great warrior, a kind king, and a good friend to all of us. He, he could always make everyone happy with his wonderful smile and laugh, I, I sometimes could become happy just by seeing him. King Mickey believed in me. He believed in me when no one did, or even myself for that matter. King Mickey made me understand that just because I have darkness in my heart, it doesn’t mean I’m evil. I truly was so changed when he said that at Castle Oblivion. I sometimes even wonder if I would be here the way I am if I never met him, and the answer undoubtedly is no. I can say this without a doubt, meeting King Mickey was the best thing that happened. He was the only one who made me believe in myself after I had done such stupid things, he was so wise and . . . and,†Riku began to cry “I miss him so much.†Riku walked away as a long tear came down from his right eye he looked at the open casket and turned away very slowly. The King was buried that day at the hedges, Queen Minnie could barely stop from running up to the coffin begging her husband to wake up. In his tombstone it would always say “Here Lies King Mickey Mouse, Friend to us All.†Sora looked to the Queen, “How did it happen?†The Queen lowered her head sadly “I don’t know.†Jimminy Cricket popped out of the Queen’s pocket, “All we found was an envelope, it has a keyhole on it.†Sora “A keyhole?†Riku walked to Sora, “Whoever made this was real specific on who opens it.†He said casually. Sora walked into the hallway with Jimminy and Riku. He drew out his keyblade and pointed it at the envelope. A light glowed from the keyblade and a beam of light flashed and hit the keyhole. The keyhole faded away to show a seal on the envelope that looked like five keys in a circle. Sora looked at the seal closely, he recognized four of them. One was Sora’s another was Riku’s, one looked like the King’s and the fourth was hard to recognize at first but it seemed to be the keyblade that Riku used when he fought Sora at Hallow Bastion when Riku was possessed by Xehanort’s heartless. “What is it Sora?†Asked Riku? “Um, uh nothing, nothing Riku.†Sora replied quickly. Sora opened the envelope and saw a letter inside, it was written on very old parchment paper it that had tears on the edges. Sora looked at the letter curiously, the writing was old fashioned cursive and written in a fine black ink. As Sora began to read it the letter seemed to be more like a poetic story than a letter if anything at all. The letter read . . . “Thou must know thee of great discord, In thee past of old a mighty man there once was, He was kind at beginning, but tried to become a lord The Darkness would spread as War does, The war of keys, The world would scatter to many, He let many suffer despite their pleas, If bare ye question I will answer any, Take your boat and come to the darkness den, Go to the Forgotten Garden.†Chapter Two- Terra, The Old Keyblade Knight Sora thought for a while, Forgotten Garden. He thought how similar it was to something he once remembered. “Hallow Bastion!†Sora cried out. “What?†said Riku. “Hallow Bastion, or Radiant Garden.†Sora remembered it now, the real name of Hallow Bastion was Radiant Garden, before Xehanort turned the beautiful world into a horrible place. “Radiant Garden is the Forgotten Garden because it’s not the Kingdom it once was. People have forgotten the beauty it used to have.†“Okay, that makes some sense Sora. But who is the guy who wrote this?†“I don’t know. But the letter says to go to Radiant Garden, let’s grab the Gummi Ship and go.†“Alright, let me grab some things.†“Wait!†said a voice running. “Wait Sora! You can’t go on an adventure without us!†said Goofy. Sora looked at Donald and Goofy, it had been six years since they defeated Xemnas, Sora was now twenty-one but Donald and Goofy were older and weaker, time had taken them out of their prime. “I dunno.†Said Sora. “WHAT?!?!?!??!?!?†demanded Donald. “Well you guys are older and you could get hurt.†“Aw, don’t worry Sora well be okay.†Said Goofy. “Besides wherever you’re going it has something to do with the king. Doesn’t it†exclaimed Donald. “Aw, you guys.†Sora shrugged he was hoping he could avoid taking Donald and Goofy so they could help the Queen. But it seemed hopeless. “You three ready?†asked Riku who had a bag of food on his back. “Yeah, lets get going to Radiant Garden.†The four were all relaxed on the flight but Sora was wondering who this mysterious person could have been. The four landed on the area the village looked in good shape but when they looked out they saw something odd. Hallow Bastion’s Castle was restored back to the way it was when Sora first saw it on his adventure with Goofy and Donald. “What the?!!†said Donald jumping up and down madly. “How’s the Castle back?†Wondered Donald. “We don’t know,†came a voice from behind, the party turned around to see that it was Leon. Leon was now past his youth and in his prime of strength as he carried his Gunblade. “The castle just appeared like that one day.†“But castles don’t just pop out of no where.†Said Riku. “The darkness has returned to Radiant Garden.†Said a weary Leon. “What are you doing here?†“We got this letter that told us to come here.†Replied Sora taking it out. Leon skimmed the letter scratching his head. “No clue who he is. But there’s rumored to be someone in the Great Maw. I’d bet that the writers probably there.†“Worth a shot.†Said Sora. The four walked over to the Great Maw and saw in the center of the field of crabgrass and few roses a keyblade in the center. The four rushed to examine it , the minute Sora touched it a man appeared from behind them. Startled the four turned around to see a large man that was wearing a heavy suit of armor. Sora remembered him, it was that man who mentioned something about Xehanort before fighting him. “It is good to see that the Keyblade Masters have received my message.†Said the Keyblade Knight. “Who are you?†asked Donald. “I am the Chaser of Dawn.†“A chaser?†muttered Riku. “What da ya do run after people?†asked Goofy. “No. I am one of the original Keyblade masters.†“What are you talking about, only Riku, the King and I are Keyblade masters.†Said Sora. “Do you remember before you fought Xigbar he mentioned that you do not look like the other heroes did.†“Yeah but, how do you know all that.†“Hm hm hm, you have traveled so far and yet still you have learned nothing.†Sora drew his keyblade at that statement “Wait a minute are you Xehanort?†“DO NOT SAY THAT NAME IN FRONT OF MY FACE AGAIN SORA!†“Sorry.†“Sora what is the purpose of the keyblade?†“Um, to seal Kingdom Hearts?†“No. If it were that simple why would Riku have a keyblade made up of Darkness and Light?†“I guess you’re right on that one.†“A keyblade master’s purpose is to balance the side of their keyblade.†“Balancing a side?†asked Riku. “Yes, when darkness grows to great a keyblade master of light comes and tries to balance it out. But usually the hero dies in the process, the same goes for darkness, if light grows too great the darkness must be balanced.†“But wait Sora’s not dead, and why do I have a keyblade†blurted Riku. “The cycle of the keyblade masters was corrupted years ago by the last master of Darkness. Xehanort.†“Xehanort was a keyblade master?†asked a stunned Sora. “Correct. He was chosen to balance darkness by creating the heartless however he corrupted the cycle by surviving. So three keyblade masters were reincarnated to balance such a mass of darkness, Sora was given the keyblade of light, Mickey the keyblade of twilight, and through many ordeals Riku finally was able to use his darkness and was given the keyblade of dawn.†“How do you know this?†“Because I am the last surviving Chaser, the four who were bred to balance and Darkness after the one great world began to split.†Chapter Three- The Death of the Monarch “Do you know how the King died?†asked Donald. “Yes.†The old Keyblade Knight began a long yarn as the four heroes sat down to hear the tale. It was the middle of the night when it began to transpire. The king was walking down the halls of the castle. He heard a noise and couldn’t help but discover the source of the commotion. He took out the card of light he had used while he helped Riku in Castle Oblivion, he used it as a candle and looked around the halls. He looked to his left and noticed that there was noticeably a chip in part of the painting. “Hm, I’ll have Donald cast a spell on the brooms to paint that.†He thought to himself. King Mickey walked down the hallway and next to the door to the throne there appeared to be a suit of armor that fell down. “That’s weird.†He muttered to himself. He turned around to see a face behind him a face barley visible and shaded in the darkness. But even barely visible the King knew instantly who it was. “Xehanort!†cried the King. “King Mickey, it’s been a while hasn’t it!†said the wicked man cold and slowly. “But how! Riku and Sora . . .†“Riku and Sora did destroy my Nobody, but not before a little side effect happened.†“What?†“When Riku was permanently cleansed of my presence the last remains of me were free in a type of heartless very weak I possessed a nobody. Eventually I even became fully human with the help of this book.†“A book. How could that have helped you.†“This book contained information and spells written by a wicked wizard that was frozen by his two apprentices for his cruel intentions. Eventually this book was discovered by Ienzo and kept even when he became Zexion. When Zexion was killed the book remained in Castle Oblivion, I came to possess this great treasure after I returned to the Castle. From there I learned how to create an artificial heart, the heart became fully real with the help of the chamber of awakening, there I slept in reforming my original memories into the heart and absorbed becoming the whole Xehanort. Now I shall continue my quest to create an empire of DARKNESS!†“Not if I stop you Xehanort!†The king drew his Keyblade. “I’d prefer Ansem actually.†“That name doesn’t belong to you!†“Why does it matter, no one using it now are they?†The King leaped to Xehanort swinging his blade to the right but Xehanort vanished. The king desperately turned to find him. “Right here.†He said from behind. He blasted the king with a blast similar to Riku’s dark fiagra. The king rushed to Xehanort firing a fire spell with the keyblade. Xehanort was able to dodge without even moving his feet and laughed. The quick King tried to surprise Xehanort by slicing him while he was preoccupied with dodging the spell but as he was about to strike Xehanort a keyblade protected him. Xehanort pushed King Mickey back to the floor and then looked coldly at him with a frightening grin. The keyblade Xehanort possessed was as black as night and appeared to have small saw like patter on the stick part of the keyblade and a skeleton key shape on the key part of the keyblade. The two charged straight at each other and the passed each other. King Mickey fell down to the ground having many wounds. Xehanort slowly walked towards the King, the wounds and tears in his robe vanished as he walked. “The power of my Keyblade is unmatched. King Mickey Mouse, I hope you’re prepared to become a heartless.†Just as Xehanort was about to lower his glowing Keyblade a piercing blinding light appeared. Through this golden Teloportation hole came the Keyblade Knight. “Warrior of Darkness I banish thee from this castle.†Xehanort covering his face from the light blurted at the Keyblade Knight. “We’ll meet again TERRA!!†Terra looked down at King Mickey. “My dear King, you will rest in peace in my Kingdom Hearts.†Said Terra. As the story reached its’ end Sora, Riku, Donald and Goofy were too shocked to describe how they felt. “Xehanort, is alive?†asked Sora. “Yes.†Said Terra. “Do not dwell on this though, there is much at hand. Xeort’s Keyblade is very powerful because it can completely control all Heartless as well as greatly influence the Darkness in one’s heart. He is gathering what heartless are left in the worlds, when you sealed my Kingdom Hearts it allowed the worlds to be restored as well as return the hearts stolen by the heartless, however Xemnas used the heartless to collect hearts in the Nobodies world to create his own Kingdom Hearts. The only mass of Heartless left is mainly in The World That Never Was and the deep dungeons in the Radiant Garden. Sora you must gather a great army to fight Xehanort.†“An army, how could I make up an army?†“Don’t worry, there is one already made that will serve you.â€
Wow! Great story! Only advice I have is to remember punctuation. It got a bit confusing when you forgot periods ans such. It seems like you're going too fast. Maybe slow it down a bit; explain more. Try not to make things happen as suddenly, and describe the emotions of the characters a bit more. Other than that, it's great. Continue! I'll be looking for updates.
Hmm...I'm not sure but I don't think you're supost to make polls for stories anymore. But either way, what he said.
Chapter 4- The Legion of Light Sora was walking in the middle of a castle, according to Terra there was an army that had been assembling for some time and it was in this world. The world had a strange name, the Tavern of Light according to the archives of the Gummi Ship. He walked alone Terra gave specific instructions for all of the four travelers. Goofy and Donald were supposed to protect Disney Castle from any invasion by Xehanort. Sora was sent to gather this supposed army of Light, a group of warriors and lastly Riku was sent by Terra to gather the Princesses of Heart. Their purpose supposedly was that when they were brought together they could create a keyblade of unbelievable light. The castle was pure white and clean, Sora had some strange feeling that he had once been here before but he had no idea when it was. Sora looked around and saw someone in the middle of the room. He bore a long broad sword and had black spiked up hair. He appeared to have a kind face in Sora’s opinion. “Who are you?†Asked the mysterious man. “I’m Sora.†“Zack, what business do you have in Castle Oblivion?†“Castle Oblivion?†That name, Sora thought to himself it seemed that he had heard it before but the memory seemed to far off, like trying to remember a year old dream. “I’m looking for the Legion of Light.†“Look no further I’m General Zack. But if you plan on meeting them, then I’m gonna have to see if you could even be worthy enough to be a member.†Zack drew his sword and charged at Sora.
