A Note from me, this is slightly a KH-based story, but also based on a series rpg I played in. The list of characters and their elements with KH characters: Michal Nightroad-Wind: Xaldin Kai Horuma-Lighting: Larxene Sophia Glanda-Water: Demyx Cliff Ross-Earth: Roxas Rose Untoi-Darkness: Riku Geryl Hamaji-Light: Kairi Neon Hisaho-Mist: Namine Kyo Horuma-Divine: Saix Jecht Rosis-Fire: Axel That's all the characters. Enjoy the story! Chapter 1 A Meeting of Chance A boy with short white hair and bright sea blue eyes was walking down a forest trail with his father, a man with long black hair and bright blue eyes. Both the man and the boy had pointy ears, the man was a being humans called a fallen angel, or 'Keldon'. The boy was only half-Keldon, his mother was a human who died at his birth. The boy didn't know his father was the king of their king, young Micheal Nightroad looked up at his father, Alsator Nightroad. "Father, we should find a place to rest and restock," he said. "Yes, Micheal," his father said. They walked for a hour until they found a quiet village, Micheal swallowed at the sight of it, it was a village full of humans. A war went on before he was born, his kind was nearly wiped out until they prayed to their gods to seek harmony with the humans. The peace and harmony with the human came at a cost, all the Keldon lost their wings. As they walked through the village, Micheal looked around for someone who would take them in. He saw a young girl with short bright flaming red hair and bright chocolate brown eyes carrying a bucket to a wall. He ran to her, noticing a small scar above her left eye. "Do you need help with that?" he asked as he saw her struggling with the bucket after it was filled with water. "Yes, please," she said. Micheal grabbed the bucket and asked the girl if he and his father could stay with her and her family. The girl agreed and took Micheal and Alsator to her house. "Father, we have some guests!" she said, excited as she entered her home. A man with short brown hair and bright brown eyes looked up at his daughter and the guests she had brought with her. He just smiled. "Welcome, gentlemen," he said politely. So Micheal and Alsator smiled back, the man and his daughter were very nice, while his father was restocking their supplies, Micheal spent his time with the girl. One night, while Micheal and his father were eating dinner with the man, he noticed the girl wasn't there. He was about to ask where she was when he heard the most beautiful voice. Following the voice, Micheal saw the girl singing the song, she was holding something in her hands. Micheal sat down beside her, what she was holding was a small ring with a sapphire stone. She handed it to Micheal, and stared at the sky. "I'll never forget this," Micheal told her, handing the girl a garnet stone on a silver chain. He helped put the necklace around her neck. "Thank you," the girl said softly. The next day, Micheal and his father left the village before anyone woke up. Micheal thought the girl and sighed. 'I'll never see her again....' he thought. Eleven years later Twenty one Micheal Nightroad yawned as he walked down a empty road, eleven years had passed since the day he was given the sapphire stone ring by the girl. He wore the ring on a necklace alongside a golden stone, the final gift his father gave before he died. He came upon a large village, sighing, he entered the village and bumped into someone. It was a girl around fourteen years old, she had short flaming red hair and bright chocolate brown eyes. Around her neck was a silver chain with a garnet stone and another necklace with a jade stone. "Sorry 'bout that," she said, standing up. "I'm Kai Horuma." "I'm fine," Micheal said. "Micheal Nightroad." "I'll show you to a inn, Micheal," Kai said. She grabbed his hand and led him to a three story inn, as they walked, Micheal thought Kai felt familiar. "Hey, have a new guest for ya," Kai told the innkeeper. Micheal bowed at Kai, and walked to his room. Laying on his bed, he took a wooden flute and started to play it. Kai heard the flute playing, and sighed. There was something awfully familiar about Micheal, she just couldn't place it. The next day, Micheal saw Kai breakfast for him. Micheal walked through the village, looking through the shops and thinking about Kai. 'I knew there's something familiar about her,' he thought. 'But where.....' Chapter 2 Elemental Secrets Kai yawned as she walked to the gate of the town, she spent the night patrolling the town. She thought about Micheal and why he felt so familiar to her. Picking up the garent stone, she thought about what happened eleven years ago. She remembered two Keldon came to her town, but her memory was too hazy to allow her remember fully. Shaking her head, she noticed a suit of armor walk up to the gate. Taking her sword, she pointed at the armor. Kai's chocolate brown eyes narrowed at the armor. "Sorry, sir," she said. "But I can't let you pass. Can you take off your armor?" The armor took the hamlet to reveal the face of a man with spiky brown hair and closed eyes. Kai immediately put her sword away and bowed at him, letting him pass. Micheal walked up to her, smiling, he was carrying some supplies. "So, you're the guardian of this town?" "Uh, yeah, that's right." Kai said, blushing a bright red. On the other side of town, three more people appeared. One was a girl with long blue hair and bright blue eyes, she walked off somewhere. Two other people were man, one had short light sandy brown hair and light green eyes, and the other had shoulder length blonde hair and dark brown eyes. They went in seperate ways. Kai took Micheal to a special shop, a place she called her 'getaway'. She looked through the shelves, looking for something. Seeing Micheal reading a book, she noticed he was wearing glasses as he read. She found a book and sat across him. "Micheal, I didn't recongize you for a second," she said. "Oh, I only wear glasses when I read," Micheal said, taking the glasses off. Kai smiled, they brought their books and left. Micheal heard a sound, Kai ran to the mayor's house. Wondering what was happening, Micheal followed her. "Kai, what's happening?" he asked. "The town is under attack," Kai said, tightening the strip to her sword. She ran out and Micheal followed. He saw strange monsters, Kai ran toward one and attacked the monster. But it attacked her back, she fell back, Micheal caught her. He noticed a small trail of blood was underneath her right eye. He took his sword out and attacked. Kai was laying, Micheal fought the monster to defend her, the golden stone on his necklace was glowing bright. As Micheal was ready to attack, his appearance changed. He now was wearing golden armor, on his back was golden wings. Kai woke up and her appearance changed as well. She was wearing violet armor, she had violet wings on her back. Four more people appeared in colored armor, one was a girl in sapphire armor, one was a man in deep green armor, another was a man in deep red armor, and the last was a man in silver armor. Micheal created shield of wind for him and Kai. Kai swiped her sword, lighting followed after it, the girl waved her hand and water appeared. Earth raised after the man in golden armor hit the ground, the man in the red armor swiped fire from his sword. Light swiped from the man in silver armor. The monsters died, Kai fell to her knees and become unconsious. Micheal picked her up and took her to the inn. All the armor disappeared, everyone followed Micheal to the inn. Kai slept soundly, Micheal watched over her as she slept. Everyone waited for Kai to wake up so they could talk about what just happened.
You seem to have to much sentences, and the story is seeming to stray off the subject, the actual point.It seems too forward, example, She fought the monster. But it fought back.She fell back,and michael caught her. see? You'll need more description, and plus, in the beginning, the boy just simply asked to stay with her.kinda not so good. Try to add more thoughts, and feelings. other then that, its a good story.
