The Last Member- PLEASE COMMENT!!! XD

The Last Member~ Chapter One - PLEASE COMMENT!!! XD

Here is a story that I began writing when i was bored. Enjoy! More chapters to come! XD

The New Member

Chapter 1:
~Abexecca walked down the quiet streets of Hollow Bastion. Her, long, black pigtails flowed behind her as she walked. Her grey shirt and green pants seemed to merge with her shiny, hazel eyes. She stared down at the ground as she walked. Abexecca is a shy girl. She is only about 12 years old. Just a little while ago, the Orginazation had found out that she was a Nobody. They have been talking about her since then, wondering if she was worthy enough to join Organization Xlll. Finally, they had come to a decision. Every Member of the Orginazation was currently in The World That Never was discussing the current event about Abexecca on hand.
"I think she's a waste of time," Axel said. "I mean, she's a girl. We don't have girls in the Orginazation."
"And what's THAT supposed to mean?" Larxene asked. "I'm a girl."
"No you're not," Demyx replied. "You're a beast."
Larxene stood up and summoned her weapon at that comment, and Demyx cowered in fear behind Marluxia. Axel stopped Larxene by putting his hand in front of her.
"What I meant was that we don't know if she's a strong girl," he said. Larxene still glared at Demyx.
"Then why don't we just... test her?' Luxord asked as he summoned his weapon. A dark portal appeared behind him and he walked through it before anyone could object.

~In Hallow Bastion...~

Abexecca was walking to Merlin's house. He was teaching her how to use magic, and today she was going to learn the spell Thunder. She had just passed the grocery store when a rock suddenly hit her in the back of the head. When she turned around, there wasn't anyone there. She looked around before turning to continue walking, but she ran into somebody and fell down.
"I'm sorry..." she said to the tall man who was standing in front of her. He was wearing a long, black Organization coat with the hood up, so no facial features were visible.
"Show me your strength," he said as three cards appeared in his hand.
"W-What?" Abexecca asked. The man suddenly threw the cards at her. She quickly rolled out of the way before they could hit her, but she noticed that they were sharp enough to stick into the side of the building behind her.
"Very good..." the man said. "Now... show me your weapon..." Abexecca stood up and looked at him.
"Look... what do you want fro-" she stopped as he suddenly took three cards and threw them at her. She quickly jumped out of the way of the attack and stood with no weapon, ready to fight.
"What is it that you want?" she asked him.
"I simpily wish for you to show me how you can fight... that's all..." he seemed to grin under the cloak as he summoned a staff and quickly charged at Abexecca. She was trapped, so she had no other choice but to summon the Sword of Light. She quickly summoned the bright yellow sword and held it up so that the two weapons clashed, making a big, yellow flash. The force of the attack threw them both back. As the man tried to recover, Abexecca, who had not fallen to the ground as he had, walked up to the man and put the sword to his neck. It was making a buzz, as electricity usually does when not in an object.
"Leave me alone..." she said. "You have lost this match..."
"Yes..." the man said as he suddenly disappeared and then reappeared behind her. "You have great strength..." he whispered in her ear. "And that is why you are perfect..." He suddenly grabbed the wrist of the hand that she was holding her sword with, causing her to drop it. He gently pinched Abexecca on a spot on the back of her neck, causing her to faint. He let go of her wrist as she dropped to the floor. Then, he gently picked her up in his arms, carrying her as they walked through a portal that had appeared behind them.

Chapter 2:
~The man walked out of a portal that led into a room in Organazation Xlll's base in which stood Axel, Larxene, and Demyx.
"You didn't need to knock her out," Axel said. "You could have just brought her here."
"But what fun would that be?" the man asked and grinned. "Although I have to admit... she was rather strong for a girl as young as her..." The man removed the hood to reveal his face.
"Haha! Luxord got beat by a girl!" Demyx said and pointed at him. The man, as you probably guessed, was Luxord. Larxene smacked Demyx on the back of the head.
"Stop with the girl jokes already..." she said. "Us girls are just as strong as you guys... I think she should join us... we need another girl in this organazation, anyways." She walked over to the red-headed pyro who had his eyes closed and was think. "What do you think about this, Axel?" she asked.
Axel opened his eyes and set his gaze upon Larxene. "Well... I like her attitude... I say she should join." Luxord walked over to Axel and gently placed Abexecca in his arms.
"It's settled then..." he said. "Take her to the infirmary and greet her when she awakens... I will inform Xemnas of her arrival." And with that, Luxord portaled away. Axel gently held Abexecca in his arms as he walked through a portal that led to the infirmary. Once there, he gently placed her on a

 

It's so..um..short if it was longer...I bet it'll be a awesome story, but this isn't much.. Not to be mean or anything.

 

not done yet... have to check threads so working on piece by piece. XD

 

So you'll be adding to it?

 

yep. XD will be done in a little while...people are replying fast tonight... XD

 

xD
Oh, okay. Well I can't wait!

 

Can you please stop being off-topic, and I suggerence, finish an entire chapter before posting it.

 

*sigh*
ok ok. i finished, but it looks much shorter on here... maybe i'll add on later.

 

ya 2 short. id b beter if it wer longer.

 

i will add tommorrow. i wrote more but i am too tired tonight. lol. XD please stay tuned for more!

 

It's good but as the others sayd it's a bit short... For now

 

Im working on making it longer...

where did you get the quote in ur siggy? it has KXR in it... -_-

 

Curisouse! I got curiouse! lol ^^ I like the argument from the organization.

 

I posted a bit more! Finished with chapter one... ^.^

I'll post chapter two in a bit...

 

Goodies! ^^ I'll have to work on mine too --' hopefully I dont have as many writers blocks this timez ^^ lolz, keep at it

 

Really good, i like it anywayz!!!!! :)

 

Thanks for all the comments! I am working on chapter two currently... :)

 

Awesome. :) Although with each dialogue, it should be spaced, so we can tell who's speaking better...but for the most part, the grammar, dialouge, it's done very well, better than most. :glomp:

 

Thanks! :D i edited it a bit... is that better? :)

 

Yep, much better, awesome. :) Although you accidentally misspelled Demyx's name when he was saying Larxene was a beast...