The guys rules

My friend from another site posted this. If any of you females are offended by this in the slightest, please tell me and I will remove it. This is all a joke, but I found it quite humorous.
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The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

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1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.

See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want t o hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

 

*cracks up hysterically* man, that is good! most of this stuff should be so obvious to women, no offense to any women viewing this thread. every guy thinks this way, and thats a fact!

 

Lmfao! I'm sorry, but that was damn funny XD

 

Man Laws For The Win!

 

lol that was funny....and partly true for us men >.>

 

That wasn't really offending to me, it was pretty funny actually. ^_^

 

XxxXehanortxxX I love your the animated gif in your sig. XD

 

LOL funny and i do love your sig.

 

that was the lamish thing I've seen ever, who ever wrote that need to come live with me for a long time, then he'll change his mind about women haha

 

Tehhe its funny:PEven though im a girl;p
Its just funny not offending^^
But I don't think every guy thinks like that ^^

 

ofcourse they do

 

Note: This is ALL good natured.

But it's supposed to be like that. Do the display toilets in Home Depot have their seats up? I didn't think so.

That's cheating. :P

Oddly enough... I don't know what Mauve is either. xDD

And like The Full Moon and The Changing of Tides, IT'S BORING TO WATCH.

Exactly why Christopher Columbus ended up in America instead of India.

Round isn't a shape. Circles are. :3

Or your head is just exploding.

If we didn't have a lot of clothes, we would have to do Laundry more often, which wastes Electricity.

Dictionary Definition of a Sport:
[SIZE=-1]"An active diversion requiring physical exertion"[/SIZE]

 

I agree; thank you, Misty! :D

As a female, I have to say that any girl who is offended by this needs to learn how to take a joke; it was hilarious!

~Jade

 

lol. I've seen these before. They are great. I don't know what mauve is either!

 

[sarcasm] *feels offended* [/sarcasm]

xD OMFG! That was so funny~!!

 

She got you there dude :\
and what's wrong with shopping?
I go shopping with my girl friends lots of times.

btw, I'm offended by this....girl power =D

 

Lol. Let's go to the mall, NRA. =D

We'll buy shoes and clothes and accessories and we'll look FABULOUS. =D

 

I found that hilarious. XD

Any girl who is offended by this seriously needs to lighten up. XD