Something quick I did for my creative writing class, not my best, but I like it The Gift Learned Too Late Sometime in the 1970’s, there had been a horrible winter. Snow. It had fallen all that week I remember, and my gloomy annoyance of it had only grown. In a place as grey as New York City, the white flakes seemed only to mock the surrounding buildings. That night, a few hours before the Eve of Christmas started, my feet dirtied the collective flakes as I lazily strolled down a empty sidewalk. Though, I did not care about ruining this fresh snow, because piles of grayed mesh were already lining the streets. They were mountains of junk that blocked the way of our blinded lives, and were dealt with to clear the way for our metal deaths. If that didn’t make sense, then you aren’t cynical enough. I had been; enough so that even the lights of Broadway up a few blocks had been dimmed in my eyes. Everyone should be cynical of the world, I had thought at that time. Because of how I was, I had no one I trusted or wished to be around. No one, that is, but the man that walked next to me then. His steps had been rushed, with a little hop, that clearly told me that he wanted to move faster. “Agh, Joey, why did you have to be such a kill-joy? That party was just getting started!†The man said with a look of scorn on his face, noted by me with by side glance. He had been twenty-five at the time, but look and acted younger. That night he had worn two coats, that were both opened revealing his dark green turtleneck. Being as cold as it had been, this would be insane, yet normal for him. Once he told me it was because he liked to ‘feel the breeze of life’. He said things like that, and it always annoyed me more than whatever level of annoyance I already been on. I answered him. “Did I say you had to come with me? No, I believe I did no such thing.†Disdain increased in his face, with a touch of childlike hurt. A retort came from him. “Right, but has that ever stopped me?†A laugh despite his childish anger. “If I didn’t come and bug you, I think you would walk these streets forever.†Back then, it would have been true. I can still see myself at that moment. A young man of twenty-one who believed himself to be years ahead of his time. A foolish man. I only had on jeans, a t-shirt, and a opened brown leather jacket with my hands stuffed in its pockets. More insane than the man next to me, but my reasons different. I wanted to feel the cruel coldness of our society’s death that winter represented. “I probably would, your right.†A smirk could have been seen on my face, the only signs of joking acknowledgment I knew. “But, I seen nothing better to do. Walking, walking nowhere and passing by the truest form of human decay.†We had walked by a homeless man in an opening of an alley.†It’s just, a calming living hell I want before death meets me.†The man, named Rick if it must be known, smacked me on my back for saying such a thing. Which was the usual reaction when I tried to pass my cynical teachings on. “Sometimes, you make no sense Joe…none. Living calming hell? What kind of crap is that? I think you need to learn how to truly enjoy yourself pal.†He had said as if he was yelling at a child for getting a math test wrong. I had grown more annoyed, but for a different reason I could not place. Rick himself started to walk backwards as he studied me. “What?!†My voice had risen by this point. And yet somewhere I knew 'what', but still couldn’t place it. Just as I hadn’t found out why I let this man stay around me. My personality worked best as a loner anyways. This unexplained following man of mine now had his voice high too. “I just wish you would grow up and stop seeing through a clouded looking glass.†He yelled. This seemed to be turning into our normal fight and a hand had came out of my pocket to rub the back of my head. And we were, by that point, no longer walking but standing in a showdown of theories of life. The sidewalk had no longer been empty as we were now on Broadway and late night actors were walking home. In the upper blocks of it, there were probably even more people for late shows, but we were not near it. Us two ‘friends’, I guess, just stared each other down. This lasted for a few moments, but Rick had never been good at showdowns. A smile broke out on his face. “Let’s just drop it.†There had been something about his easy-going personality that hit that ‘unknown reason for this feeling’ cord in me; annoying me. He then swung his arm around my shoulders, turning me back the way we came, and started to drag me along. “You, my anger Joey, are going to that party.†As much as I wanted to fight back at that moment, I could not bring myself to. A dark feeling overcoming my thoughts, as if I knew something would annoy me again. A few minutes later it proved true. The homeless guy we had passed before had gotten to his feet, and saw us coming. He then stumbled over to us and mumbled something clearly about money. His clothes were too big and rotten, but he looked weak enough. Rick, being annoyingly too kind, unwrapped his arm from me and pulled out his wallet. The homeless guys swiftly eyes must have caught a look inside. Must have been…because what happened next was unexpected (even by me) and quick. There was a sound of a bullet, where the guy had the gun I did not see, and it pierced through Rick’s gut. Before I could have made a move, the homeless guy grabbed the wallet and ran off. I had been too shocked to react. I had gone over to Rick, and tried to put pressure on the wound. Looking at his pained face, that yet had a look of a faded smile on it, I understood my unknown feelings. Why I was allowing him to get near me. Somewhere deep within me, I had wanted to learn from him. I wanted to be as care-free as him and see things how he did. It had took me too long to realize this, it felt like. I had been a foolish young man with the true blinded view of things. Cause, even if I saw a friend get shot, I felt no angry. For Rick said. “I should curse my luck…but at least you’re here.†That damn man couldn’t even stay down in hopes at a time like that. I had thought as I was sure he would pull though. He had given me the gift of learning, while that Christmas had brought a gift for my sin of blindness; a lost of a dear friend I can only look back on. Sitting on this bench, a few hours before the Eve of Christmas, in the year 2007, I watch the snow falling only with sadnesss.
