For school, I was assigned to create a children's book. Not knowing what to write about, I thought of the most generic thing ever and went from there. I've read it to the target audience and they seem to enjoy it, but wouldn't mind a second opinion from an older audience. CnC is appreciated. "The boy and the Tree" A boy and his kite, a wonderful sight, On a fresh and windy day. So Playful and free, and filled with much glee, In the afternoon of May. But the wind became fierce and off flew the kite, Pulling the child along, Going up and down and side to side, Man, that wind was strong! It pulled and it tugged until STOP! went the kite, And the boy was back on his feet. He looked on the ground to find his dear kite, For without it, he felt incomplete. He followed the string as it led up above, He had finally found that glider! But the kite had been caught in the branch of a tree, Like a fly in the web of a spider. “Hey, you tree, give back my kite!” exclaimed the angry tyke. “I want you to spit it out right now, Or I’ll ram you with my bike!” The tree stayed still and moved not an inch, “A Wise guy, huh?” he said. “Well, you, my tall friend, have entered a game, One which you surely shall dread.” “The game is of wits,” he said with a grin, “You will lose, I guarantee. Because I’m a kid with a big fat brain, And you’re just a dumb old tree!” “The Quiet Game is how we’ll decide, I’m sure you know the rules. The first one to talk, loses the match! I should know, I’m the champ at my school!” Silent he stayed, and so did the tree, Waiting to see who would crumble. The boy remained focused, the tree remained mute, These players were ready to rumble. He waited and waited and waited some more, His patience began to fade. That tall, old oak was a tough one to beat, Was this a mistake he had made? “Move!” he burst out in a raging voice, Realizing he’d lost the fight. The boy had been beat by a ten foot plant, And he’d never get back his kite. He kicked and he screamed. “You cheated!” he cried, Hiding the tears in his eyes. “I chose the contest, I should have won! I had the element of surprise!” “Please, Oh please, Oh please Mr. Tree,” He begged, feeling sad and hurt. “I’m sorry for calling you dumb,” he admitted, Blowing his nose on his shirt. There and then, the wind had returned, Fast like a roller coaster! It popped that boy’s kite right out of the tree, Like toast coming out of the toaster. “You should have just asked,” said the tree to the boy. “I would have given it back. “You should try and make peace and talk things out, Instead of threatening to attack.” Now follow this moral, and try not to quarrel, It will put your mind at ease. So take my advice, and try to be nice, Especially to the trees…
Seems like something I would read to little ones in elementary school. I loved the image I was seeing in my head and how playful your words were. Though it seemed a bit awkward at some parts like all of the sudden after you have this nice first you put in "Man, that wind was strong!" But I liked it, so there's not much to complain about. Nicely done here. :3
You must: [1] Get Scholastic to publish that. [2] Get some money. That was really sweet :3 Try writing more for fun.
I really enjoyed reading this! The rythm and the rhyming was on the spot, and the word choice really helped me visualize the whole poem. Outstanding job and like Te Deum said, get Scholastic to publish this! Good luck in the future. Yours truly, Maxgen
Thank you to the above comments, righting a reflection due next week on what was enjoyable or not about it. I would be grateful for those who mention such. Please continue to CnC. Don't hesitate if it can be improved.
