Spike's Rules Of Piracy (Because I'm Cool That Way)

Read and learn these, and you'll be ripping off people for money in no time, my young swashbucklers n__n
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The Rules Of Pirateeirng​

1. Pirates who plunder and run away, live to plunder another day

2. Make sure you're popular before you try a mutiny. Otherwise, no one will ever sit next to you at lunch anymore.

3.Real pirates run with a manly swagger (reffer to rule #1)

4. ALWAYS root for the Pittsburgh Pirates during baseball season or the next badwagon you jump is off the starboard bow. Savvy?

5. The rum's gone because the guy NEXT to you drank it all *wink*

6. If a navy sailor asks you for your occupation, always answer "I'm the guy whose kept you from being jobless, mate".

7. A good pirate always has a back-up plan (see rule #1)

8. You have two hands, why be indecisive about which treasure to take?

9. Before you criticize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize, you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

10. Make sure you know where the eyepatch goes

11. If it wears an orange jumpsuit, shoot it in the boot. If it wears a nice hat, give it a pat on the back.

12. Left's for straights, right's for knots. Although it's cool either way. (see rule #10)

13. Don't relieve yourself in the crow's nest; it's social suicide.

14. If you own an eyepatch, maybe manning the cannon isn't for you.

15. Bigger telescope= bigger man.

16. Having a lady on board doesn't mean your lucks run out. In fact, it's just the opposite *wink*

17. If you've never at least heard of Flogging Molly, feel free to throw yourself overboard.

18. The captain's hat is off limits to the rest of the crew. Get your own chick magnet...

19. Do NOT, under ANY circumstances, break out into song on the ship.

20. Rum makes the best mouthwash.

21. It's not "gambling", per say. More like "short -term financial planning".

22. Make any jokes about the term "poop-deck", and you'll be given a short stop and a sudden drop. Savvy?

23. Only the captain gets to say savvy. Savvy?

24. If you want a lass to like you back, just kidnap her. True love is like gardening; you have to be aggressive to get the weeds out.

25. Stay away from tentacles. They're creepy, slimy and can get you in all sorts of places, if you know what I mean. :nono:

26. Wench is just another word for groupy.

27. If the ancient legends say it's cursed, that's just the geezers' way of saying "Get off my lawn,you kids!".

28. Who ever gets left behind, stays behind. You have plenty of time to grieve while you're running for the lifeboat.

29. Don't kill women and children; the ship's always under-staffed and you could always use the company (see rule #24).

30. Swords are all fun and cool, but make sure you know how to use them (see rule #10)

31. No one likes tattle-tales; their tongueless-ness makes them annoyingly hard to converse with. :3

32. If they didn't get the money, there must be something wrong with your iTunes. *wink*

 

i'm with you captian spike.
*rasies cup to spike*
let's hear it for the captain

 

Here here!

Hey! Where did the rum go? O.O

I jus noticed, Kingdom Hearts support pirates! There is no ninja in it, but there are pirates and pirate-looking guys on. =3

 

And that's a good way to get a Dawn Appointment at the gallows. :3

 

Catch the Rain boards

<3​

 

There's always rule #7.

 

Oh and what's the backup plan?

Frisk the Navy Sailor when he's not looking and run whilst he's stunned at the audacity of your actions?

 

Whatever floats your boat. Improvising takes you a long way.

 

i'm always down for rule number 1.
hey spike,do you want to go plunder some ports and villages ^.^

 

I'll get the cannon ^_^

 

what port should we plunder first captian

 

..... Yuffie?

That rule should be #1. I'll be glad to push them overboard. :)

 

the pirate's code...
spike style.
*salutes*

 

Yuffie's existence should be ignored entirely.

 

So if anyone breaks into sing randomly, do they happen to have to walk the plank?
<_<
>_>

 

They'll be singing with the fish from The Little Mermaid at the bottom of the sea >=\
(literally)

:3

*Well, that confirms rule #18 n__n

 

But that's the best part of being a pirate >:

 

*sigh*
Fine, fine, fine, we'll buy Singstar 80's and get a portable plug socket for a PS2 and try to have a karaoke night or something. >_>

But if anyone stops work to start one of those damn theatrical scenes I'm.Bringing.My.Foot.Down.4.Evah.

*I swear, we don't already have such a secret karaoke night >.>

 

Oh crud.

Yup ^^

:D

 

Is there a rule about having pets onboard?

*approves of all rules - grins*