Well, this is something I wrote this afternoon after the hubster got called in to work. First peice of fan fiction ever! Don't be too harsh lol. Enjoy! Sora's Cheer Up Committee! “Stupid dreams.†Sora muttered to himself. He was sitting against a palm tree on the island, looking out into the ocean and trying to make sense of the dreams he had been having lately. They were very similar to the dreams he had when his whole journey first started. Except now he knew what the terrifying monsters were. Heartless. For the past two weeks he had been having bad dreams. Each dream was similar, yet slightly different. The first dream he had there had been a hundred heartless surrounding him and all he had was the wooden sword he used to play with as a kid. No matter how many times he tried to summon The Keyblade, the wooden sword would just keep appearing. The next night there were literally thousands of heartless and even though he had The Keyblade this time, it did no damage to the heartless. Last night he was back in The World That Never Was and the heartless and nobodies worked together and attacked him. Even though the dreams were slightly different they always ended the same. Always. While he struggled uselessly against the heartless, Kairi would be dragged away into some dark portal. Screaming his name and begging for Sora to help her. Sora would then wake up, drenched with sweat, and completely tangled in his blankets. One morning he fell off the bed and woke up in pain when his back slammed into the hard wood floor. Sora just couldn’t shake the feeling that someone bad was going to happen. He wasn’t his normal cheery self. His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes lately. Kairi and Riku were worried, Sora could tell. They each tried to get him to tell them what was wrong but Sora would just grin goofily and say ‘nothing.’ And would then quickly change the subject or challenge Riku to a sparring match, knowing Riku wouldn’t be able to say no to a challenge. Unfortunately Kairi wasn’t as easily distracted. She was constantly pestering him about his sudden depression. The only reason why she wasn’t with him now and pestering him was because Sora caught her by surprise. A half hour earlier Kairi had asked him, yet again, what was wrong. Sora replied with his usual grin and said ‘nothing,’ again and this time Kairi walked in front of him and refused to move; “Sora, I can tell something’s wrong. And I’m not moving until you tell me.†Kairi said looking up at him. While Sora wasn’t exactly the tallest guy around, he was still taller than Kairi. Sora looked down at her. “Silly Kairi. I told you, nothing. I’m just peachy.†He replied going to step around her. Kairi blocked his path. He tried to go the other direction and again Kairi stepped in front of him. Sora sighed loudly and Kairi smirked. “Well?†She asked, arching an eyebrow. Sora folded his arms across his chest and pondered the situation for a moment. Then he leaned down towards Kairi’s ear. “I’m fine. You worry too much.†He whispered in her ear. He felt her shiver and suppress a giggle. Then he brushed his lips against hers. He heard Kairi sigh softly as she leaned in towards him. He slowly lifted his head and grinned at Kairi. She smiled softly back temporarily distracted, Sora took his opportunity to leave. He waved and then ran off towards the island. He heard Kairi sigh in frustration but she didn’t chase after him. Sora sighed at the memory. He loved Kairi, with all of his heart, but he didn’t want to worry her. Or Riku for that matter. They both worried too much when it came to him and they were just dreams right? Nothing to worry about. But Sora couldn’t quite convince himself of that. He felt bad for worrying his girlfriend and best friend but there were some things that even got the happy-go-lucky-total dork-goofball-Sora down. Sora leaned further back against the tree and closed his eyes. He could still hear Kairi screaming for him. That was the worst part, he was always helpless to help her. And Sora did not like being helpless. He could feel his heart clenching and could tell that Roxas was not happy with depressed Sora. “Sorry Roxas.†Sora muttered out loud. His heart slowly unclenched and knew that Roxas was trying to reassure him. “I’m trying to be optimistic. Really I am. It’s just hard.†Sora said to Roxas quietly. His eyes still closed Sora didn’t see two people sneaking up on him. All of a sudden Sora was tackled from the side. He felt himself rolling on the sandy floor and then he was slammed onto his back. Sora opened his eyes wide to see that Riku had him pinned to the ground and Kairi was smiling down at him from his left side. “W-What are you guys doing?†Sora asked, his cerulean eyes wide. “Nothing.†Riku said in a perfect imitation of Sora’s voice. Sora’s eyes narrowed. “Is that supposed to be me? Man you don’t sound like me at all.†Sora replied. “You’re right. I didn’t sound girly enough.†Riku smirked. Kairi giggled. Sora shot Riku a death glare. “Can I ask why you are pinning me to the ground and getting sand down my pants?†Sora asked. Sora’s arms were at his side and he started to lift them in order to push Riku off of him. Riku swatted them away easily each time Sora tried. “We came here to make you tell what’s wrong.†Kairi said, a stern look appearing on her pretty features. “I told you guy’s n-“ Sora started to say before Riku interrupted him. “If you say nothing Sora I swear I will kill you.†Riku replied. Sora grinned. “Fine. I’ll start over then. I told you guys…nada!†Sora replied. Riku groaned and Kairi giggled a little. “We mean it Sora. We know something’s wrong, now out with it. And no challenge or kiss is going to distract us!†Kairi said firmly. Riku stiffened. “Kiss?†Riku asked. Sora blushed slightly and so did Kairi. Riku knew they were a couple now but they kept the PDA at a minimum. Especially around Riku, otherwise Riku would’ve teased the couple mercilessly. “Don’t worry Riku, I won’t kiss you without permission first.†Sora replied with a girlish grin, batting his eyelashes at Riku. Riku snorted. “Don’t flatter yourself Sora. Now are you going to tell us what’s wrong or are we gonna have to resort to extreme measures?†Riku asked. Sora furrowed his brow in confusion, unsure of what Riku was insinuating. “We care about you Sora. Come on, just tell us.†Kairi urged, kneeling down next to the pinned Sora. “I told you guys. I’m fine. Nothing’s bothering me.†He lied and looked away from Kairi’s blue-violet eyes. He had a harder time lying to her when he was looking straight at her. “Since you insist on being uncooperative, drastic measures must be taken.†Riku said as he grabbed both of Sora’s wrists and pinned them above his head. Sora struggled slightly then looked at Riku and Kairi, still confused as to what they were planning. Riku was smirking and Kairi was giggling, both of them still amused at how clueless Sora was at times. And then it hit him. “No! Please for the love of all the worlds, no!†Sora begged and started squirming. Riku was still a lot stronger than Sora, as well as heavier so the poor teen had no chance of escaping. “Struggling is futile Sora. Besides you brought this upon yourself.†Riku laughed. Riku’s right hand was holding Sora’s wrists and he brought his left hand down to Sora’s side. “Are you sure you don’t want to tell us?†Kairi asked, laughter in her voice. Sora looked at her, eyes cerulean eyes begging for Kairi to help him. Kairi shook her head and covered her mouth with her hand in order to suppress her giggles. “No. Th-There’s nothing to tell.†Sora replied, struggling against Riku’s iron tight hold. “I told you not to say the word ‘nothing.’†Riku replied with a smirk and then poked Sora lightly in the side. Sora ‘eeped.’ “Please Riku, don’t!†Sora begged. Riku smiled evilly and then began tickling the poor helpless teen’s sides. Sora tried to move away from Riku’s wiggling fingers but Riku just tightened his legs and forced Sora to stay still. Sora had his mouth clamped shut, trying desperately to keep the laughter that was wanting to escape from spilling out of his mouth. But then Riku moved up to his ribs, which was Sora’s most ticklish spot. Sora started laughing loudly. Kairi giggled as well. “K-Kairi! H-help me! P-plehehehease!†Sora begged through his laughter. Kairi laughed and shook her head no. Sora needed this, she thought. It had been so long since she had heard him truly laugh. His surprisingly deep chuckles were music to her ears. “I don’t think so Sora. In fact, I think Riku needs help!†Kairi replied grinning widely. “N-no! Don’t!†Sora said laughing. His lungs were on fire because of lack of oxygen from laughing too much. Riku was merciless as he danced his fingers along Sora’s ribs. “I’m sorry Sora I can’t understand you. You’re stuttering too much.†Riku said as Kairi giggled and then started tickling the other side of Sora’s ribs. Sora started laughing even harder, squirming as much as he could to get away from his tormentors. “Y-y-you…hahahaha…s-suck!†Sora told Riku. Riku let out a gasp of mock offense. “Did you just insult me Sora?†He asked smiling. “Yes!†Sora said through his laughter. Even though he was being tortured to death, Sora was slightly enjoying himself. He hadn’t laughed this hard in quite some time and it felt good. The tickling didn’t, but the laughing did. His laughter became louder as Kairi started tickling right under his arms and Riku almost lost his grip when Sora tried to bring his arms down. “Just say you give up Sora and tell us what’s wrong and this’ll all end.†Kairi said. Sora could feel tears of mirth falling from his eyes and he shook his head violently from left to right in a non-verbal ‘no.’ “Suit yourself.†Riku replied and tickled under Sora’s other arm. Sora’s sides were aching from laughing so much and he could barely breathe. But once Riku started on his other arm Sora lost it. Sora yelled loudly with laughter. “O-OKAY! I…I GIVE! I GIVE!†Sora yelled. But to his dismay the continued their relentless assault on his body. Kairi laughed at Sora’s pleas for mercy. She truly did enjoy his laugh but she could tell he couldn’t take much more so after another minute or so she slowed her fingers to a stop. Riku followed shortly and let go of Sora’s wrists, but kept him pinned to the ground. Sora quickly wrapped his arms protectively around himself and was still laughing. Sora could still feel the tingling on his ribs and underarms from Riku’s and Kairi’s tickling. Sora’s breathing was still a bit fast but was slowly returning to normal and his laughs were now a few chuckles. Riku looked into Sora’s red face and smirked. “Alright, time to spill. And if you don’t we start round two.†Riku warned. Sora scowled and struggled to get free, but Riku refused to move. Sora sighed loudly. “Fine! But before I do could you please get off?†Sora asked. Riku hesitated. “Come on Riku, get off of him. I’m sure we’ve scared him enough that he won’t run.†Kairi said with a slight smirk. Sora shot her a look. “I do hope you know that you are more ticklish than me and that I shall be repaying you in kind.†Sora threatened. Kairi giggled nervously and took a step back. Riku got up and helped Sora up to his feet. Sora scowled at the both of them and retreated a few steps, crossing his arms protectively around himself once more. Riku and Kairi both threw their heads back and laughed. “Alright, enough laughing at my expense!†Sora exclaimed. He looked at the pair of them and sighed, lowering his head looking at the ground. He felt a small, warm, and soft hand gra his. He looked up and saw Kairi. Riku came up to his other side and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is, you’re not alone Sora. The three of us, we can handle anything that comes our way. Our hearts are all connected.†Kairi said softly and smiled. Sora smiled, a genuine Sora smile, and squeezed her hand. He looked at Riku and the normal smirk Riku had was replaced with a soft smile as he looked at his best friend. Sora’s heart began to feel lighter. Roxas was agreeing. Sora nodded. They were right. Whatever happened, everything would be okay. Because their hearts were connected. And that’s what made them strong.
Harsh? furthest thing from my mind, i assure you. this is very, very good. your sentence structure is great, you gave lots of details, without drowning the reader in boredom from too many. i would suggest double spacing your paragraphs, but thats all i can suggest structure-wise. story-wise, if i do not read more soon, i will destroy you in a tickle fight. seriously. it has a good blend of hilarity and seriousness, and you got the characters perfect. i cannot wait for chapter 2.
Awe thanks!!! And as I am pretty much the most ticklish person in the world I will have chapter two out soon lol. =]] I rly appreciate the feed back!
I agree with Loxare about the story structure. Whenever you start a line of new dialogue, it would help make it easier for the reader to read. There were also a couple of run on sentences, which you can fix by splitting them up a bit. Example: There, you could end the sentence after "...returning to normal..." and start a new one beginning with "...his laughs were now a few chuckles." Anyway, I really liked how you didn't stray from the actual characters' personalities; Riku, Sora and Kairi interact with each other here like they would in the game. Overall, good job and I look forward to reading more. c:
I always got in trouble when I was in college with my run on sentences lol. My professor's always told me to 'breathe' when I was writing lol. Thanks for the advice. I'm almost done with the next chapter and I think it'll be better structurally. =]]
Chapter two Alrighty then! Finally done with chapter 2! I've put a lot of emphasis on making my structure better and 'breathing' in between sentences lol. Please read and review! Thanks! It had been two days since Sora had nearly been tickled to death. He was still jumpy around Riku and Kairi, much to their enjoyment. It had also been two days since Sora had told them about the dreams. Kairi reassured him that they were just dreams and that they were sure to go away eventually. Riku however, stiffened at the mention of the dreams and shared a knowing look with Sora. Riku was thinking the same thing Sora was; something bad was going to happen. The two boys decided not to tell Kairi what they were thinking so as to not worry her. Riku was spending the night at Sora's since Kairi was at Selphie's. It was 9 o'clock in the evening and the two boys were in the back yard sparring, which is what they had been doing since 7. "Come on Sora, I know you can do better than that!" Riku yelled as he dodged a keyblade swipe to his legs from Sora. Sora was starting to get a little tired, they had been at it for at least two hours and neither of them had had an advantage yet. Sora smirked and jumped high into the air, spinning his keyblade before aiming for Riku. Riku grabbed Way to Dawn tighter and jumped as well, meeting Sora in the middle as he braced Way to Dawn against Sora's keyblade. Both boys were grunting as they pushed against each other in mid air. Neither one wanting to be the first to fall. Sora breathed in deeply and then with a great force, pushed as hard as he could against Riku. Riku gasped in surprise as he felt the force of Sora's keyblade pushing against Way to Dawn. And before Riku knew it he slammed into the ground, Way to Dawn skidded across the yard and Sora was pointing his keyblade at Riku's throat. Riku looked up at Sora and saw his chest moving up and down rapidly from the exhaustion, but there was also a smirk playing on the boys lips. A smirk that Riku was very proud of. Riku smirked back. "Lucky shot." Riku said. Sora's smirk grew wider. "I think you're just getting old." Sora replied. "Is that so?" Riku said, and before Sora could reply he swiped his leg against Sora's, making the boy crash to the sandy floor. Sora flailed his arms comically as he fell, a cry of surprise escaping his throat. Riku lauged as he lay on the ground, wrapping a hand around his stomach. Sora started laughing as well, and once they started it was hard to stop. The two keyblade warriors laid there and laughed until their ribs ached. Riku slowly stood to his feet and walked over to Sora, offering him a hand. "You were saying?" Riku asked Sora with a smirk. Sora reached up and took Riku's hand, allowing Riku to help him to his feet. "That you amaze with the youthiness of your youth." Sora said grinning goofily. "You better believe it." Riku replied. The two teens walked into Sora's house and grabbed some snacks before walking upstairs to Sora's room to watch the 'Die Hard' marathon on T.V. They were both hard core 'Die Hard' fans and had been looking forward to this marathon for days. "I am so stoked! This marathon is going to be great! TBS said that there would be limited commercial interuptions." Sora said plopping down on one of his bean bag chairs. He quickly grasped his open soda tightly in his hand so it wouldn't spill. Riku chuckled. "You know Sora, if you didn't have an armful of snacks you wouldn't have to worry about spilling anything. You have enough food for an army!" Riku was right of course. While all he had was a soda and a bag of popcorn, Sora had a bag of gummi worms, a bag of sour patch kids, a bag of popcorn, his can of soda, and a batch of nachos with extra cheese. Sora looked at his snacks and shrugged. "I'm a growing teenage boy, what can I say?" Sora replied with a grin. Riku shook his head and sat on the other bean bag chair next to Sora's. Riku turned to look at Sora, his expression turning serious. "What are you gonna do about the dreams?" He asked Sora. Sora turned to look at Riku with his own serious expression. "I'm not entirely sure yet. I guess I'm just going to have to wait and see what happens. I'm gonna start training soon though. I haven't used my magic in ages and I'm probably a bit rusty. Whatever is coming I want to be prepared for it." Sora said firmly. Riku nodded. "I'll train with you. It helps to have a sparring partner." Sora smiled at that. "Good. We can start tomorrow. I'm also going to be keeping an eye out for Kairi, try and make sure she's never alone. My dreams always end with her being swallowed by darkness and I don't want to risk anything." "She'll be mad if we start training without her. She's going to want to help." Riku said. Sora sighed loudly. He knew Riku was right, she would be furious if she found out that they knew something she didn't and that they were keeping it from her. But how was he going to keep it from her and protect her at the same time? "I haven't gotten that far yet. But I will protect her." Sora said with conviction. "We'll just have to convince Selphie that Kairi needs major girl time. I'm sure she wouldn't mind dragging her off to the mall a few times a week." Riku said smiling. Sora chuckled softly. "I'm sure you're right." Sora replied. "I've been thinking though Sora." "Hm?" "You should write the King and tell him about your dreams." Riku said. Sora pondered that for a moment. The King would certainly know what to do. "I think you're right. I'll write him tomorrow. Maybe he can help decipher what these dreams mean." Sora said. Riku was done with the serious conversation and decided to tease Sora a little bit, Sora's face was starting to lose its normal light. "Decipher? Wow Sora, that's a big word. Careful not to choke on it." Riku said with a smirk. Sora set his can of soda on the floor and threw his snacks on the ground. "Watch it old man. Them is fighting words." Sora growled playfully, standing up. Riku smirked and stood up as well. "Fighting words eh?" Riku crossed his arms over his chest and titled his head at Sora. "Yup." And with that Sora tackled Riku, knocking the older teen onto the floor. The two boys wrestled for a minute and Sora ended up on the floor, Riku pinning him. "Well this looks familiar. How do you always end up in these kinds of situations Sora?" Riku asked jokingly. Sora growled in frustration and tried to get out from Riku's grasp. "Riku! Let me up!" Sora whined. "You know the drill Sora." Riku said. "Riiiikkkuuuuuu..." Sora whined louder. "We could always go far round two." Riku said evilly. Sora narrowed his eyes and then sighed. "Riku is the greatest fighter in the world and I, Sora, am but a lowly worm who can only wish to be as great as Riku." Sora mumbled, still squirming to get up. "And..." Riku encouraged. Sora sighed loudly again. "And he is so much cooler, stronger, and better looking than me. Oh how I wish I could be at least 1/4th as cool and strong and...can't bleive I'm saying this...and sexy as Riku. There I said iat now get off!" Sora said as he pushed against Riku. Riku threw his head back and laughed and then let Sora up. "Was that so hard?" Riku asked. Sora grimaced and threw a pillow at him. They finally settled down and watched the 'Die Hard' marathon until 1 in the morning. Sora groggily scrambled towards his bed while Riku got out a sleeping bag and slept on the bean bag chairs. Sora allowed his heavily eye lids to close and soon he was lost to sleep. "SORA!" Kairi screamed. Sora turned to look at her. She was surrounded by hundreds of Dusks and heartless. "HELP ME!" She screamed again. Sora was on top of the skyscrapper in The World That Never Was and Kairi was all the way on the bottom. "Kairi!" Sora yelled to her. Sora ran to the edge and was about to jump off when hands grabbed him and stopped him. There were several Dusks and heartless now surrounding him, trying to keep him from saving Kairi. Sora summoned the keyblade and it came, but no matter how many times he tried to stab the Dusks and heartless it never made a mark. The keyblade just ran through them as if hitting a ghost. Sora threw the keyblade in anger and went to jump off the edge again. The heartless and nobodies weren't allowing him too and they grabbed him again, dragging him away from the edge. "SORA!" Kairi screamed again and Sora could see a dark portal opening again, the heartless and Dusks dragging her towards it. "KAIRI!" Sora shouted. Sora started fighting them with his hands, pushing away their claws and punching every inch of them he could. His fist's made contact even though the keyblade didn't. Sora started fighting his way through the nobodies and heartless, using every ounce of his strength to get to Kairi. "SORA, PLEASE!" Kairi begged, struggling against her captors and tears pouring down her eyes. Sora felt his throat tighten. He couldn't take it, couldn't take her pain and not be able to help her. "Kairi! I'm coming! Hold on!" Sora said, he finally made it back to the edge and lunged himself off before the Dusks and heartless could stop him. He was falling towards Kairi and she reached her hand towards him, "SORA DON'T LET THEM TAKE ME!" She screamed. She was almost to the dark portal and Sora tried to force himself to fall faster by tucking in his arms and legs. Sora rolled to the ground and started sprinting towards Kairi, outstretching his hand towards Kairi. "SORA!" Kairi was forced into the portal and it disappeared before Sora could reach her. Sora could hear her screaming in terror even though the portal was gone. "KAIRI!" Sora screamed, tears pouring from his face now. The Dusks and heartless were now on top of him, clawing every inch of him as he struggled futilely. "KAIRI! KAIRI! I'M SORRY! KAIRI!" Sora yelled loudly, waking Riku. Riku sat up from his make-shift bed to see his best friend struggling against his blankets as if someone where holding him down. His eyes were squeezed shut. Riku rushed over to Sora, almost tripping over his own blankets. He grabbed Sora's shoulders and started shaking him gently. "Sora! Wake up!" Riku said. "Let me go! Get away from me!" Sora yelled, struggling against Riku. "Sora! It's me! It's Riku, wake up!" Riku said firmly giving Sora another shake. Sora's eyes shot open wide and he gasped loudly. Sora scrambled into a sitting position and leaned against his headboard, panting heavily. Riku took a step back and looked at his friend. Riku could see absolute fear in Sora's bright blue eyes and his heart clenched. Sora continued to try to catch his breath and then he felt the tears falling down from his eyes. "Sora..." Riku said quietly when he saw the tears. Sora looked down and tried to stop them from flowing. "They're getting worse." Sora replied quietly after taking a shaking breath. "Something's coming. Something big. And Kairi is in danger." Well that's chapter two! I know it's kind of a cliff hanger but I have biiiiiggg plans!!! =]] Read and Review please and thank you!!! (heh, I rhymed.)
Another excellent and original chapter. My favorite part was when Kairi was surrounded by Dusks and Sora came to the rescue, as well as the part where Riku would not stop tickling Sora and how he jumpy from it. I can't wait for more, Keri! Keep the up the good work.
