I hope you can help me :unsure: So, there's this girl I like. I know her since October and I'm trying to get to know her better (she already said she doesn't like 'quick' guys and I also think two people need to get to know eachother before being a couple). We're getting along very well, I see her almost every week at badmintontraining, and sometimes go away with her and some friends. We sometimes even text eachother until we go to sleep (sometimes till midnight :P), and when there hasn't been training for a while, which means we don't get to see eachother, she says she misses me. In the beginning she asked questions like "do you have a girlfriend", "do you want a girlfriend" etc. She also said that she wanted to go with me to a party someday, that she wants to make picture with funny faces from her and me and watch a movie with me at my place, in other words personal questions and things that are just for the two of us, 'unique' like the picture (don't know how to explain this well). When I said I had an accident last year, she said "Omg, when this happens to you now, I will go directly to the hospital to see you". I also tried to help her when she had some problems, and she was happy and said it was nice from me to help her. So after all these things I am like, wow, she's likes me ... My problems: 1) I would love to invite her at my home to watch a movie but then my mom would get suspicious and I don't like that she teases me with that xP I think it would be better if we would go watch a movie in the cinema just the two of us ... but wouldn't that be strange for her? 2) She thinks I'm nice, but sometimes too nice [?] (Not sure about this one because she didn't say this to me but she was talking to someone and I think they were talking about me and then she said "No, he's too nice". I can accept this one,if it's me they were talking about, but hey, it's still a problem) 3) I don't know how to say it to her that I like her, because she is one of my best friends now, and I'm scared to lose her this way. I also had two similiar scenarios a couple of years ago. Always someone I like, I get to know her better, I like her but don't know how to say her and BLAM someone else "get's her" and I think I can't handle it again, three times would be too much, it's just traumatising and depressing, I would be broken inside if that were to happen one more time :S 4) She has somehow met my nephew, and I'm afraid she likes him ... well, I'm almost certain that she likes him because she said she's happy she got to know him, that she'll always be there for him and that she would be even be crying (wtf?!) if someone hurts him. All these things she also said to me except for the crying part (I'm afraid she likes him more then me ...... I think I'm getting jealous here for the first time in my life :S) Now, that normally wouldn't bother me BUT my parents have a huge fight with his parents. And I swear, his parents are pure poison, there actually bad people (they're allways thinking about themselves, about money, and are very hypocritical) and I'm afraid he's no different. His parents have been 'manipulating' him and his sister with their lies so they think my mom's the bad person, and therefore won't even talk to me. I'm just afraid that one of my best friends will fall into someone's bad hands. 5) When I like a girl, I end up talking to her ALOT, and I think that can scare her away ... It's like I'm trying too hard or something ... but when I try to talk to her less I'm scared that she won't like me as much as before :S How many can you talk to a person before they actually think you're annoying? I know it's a long story but you have to know everything right? So what should I do?
1) Going to the cinema isn't normally a strange place for a date, in fact it's one of the most common places. I don't know this girl, but most girls don't think the cinema is strange. Go ahead and ask her. 2) Neither you nor I know exactly what she meant by this, so I wouldn't think about it too much. Don't change who you are to make a girl like you. 3) You can't just not say it and hope she realizes eventually. Tell her when you feel you are ready. Talk to her one-on-one, because she will probably feel pressured if her friends are around. 4) That's not something I can easily give advice to you about. It may be a good reason to tell her that you like her, though. 5) Talking isn't a bad thing, but girls like to talk too. Give her a chance to talk, and listen. Maybe ask her some questions, like what bands she likes, or if she watches a certain tv show. Girls like to talk and be listened to. Hope that helps. :]
First off... Don't come on too strong... As in don't be all talkative and ****... That usually ends up going badly... Second, don't worry about someone else "Getting her"... It takes you back to point one, where you come on to strong... Just be casual and stuff... If she likes you and keeps dropping hints (cause that's all you will get) then I guess if you feel comfortable, go for it... If you want this, then just be yourself and if it's meant to be then it will be... If not, then I suppose it wasn't meant to be... Either way, just be cool and casual and calm, but don't be ignorant... That's all I can think of right now... Good luck...
1) There's nothing wrong or awkward about taking a girl to the cinema, but I'd work towards watching a movie at home. It can be a lot more intimate, and the more experiences like that you share with her, the closer you two will get. 2) You should seriously find out if she thinks you're too nice and why. Just ask her. It's called communication; yeah it's hard to do, but if you don't just come out and ask and get an honest answer out of her, you'll be left wondering, and that'll create tension between you two. You need to get it out in the open and work on a compromise if it's a problem. 3) You know how you say you like her? "I like you." You like her a lot? "I like you a lot." You love her? "I friggin' love you," you seeing the pattern? You don't wait for her to just get it, that's not how it works. Yeah, maybe it sounds more romantic, to some people. But what's really romantic is to want to be with her bad enough to come out and say it. Show that courage, that initiative, and any girl worth the time will respect you for it. If you don't want the same thing to happen again, do something different; otherwise you're a textbook definition of insane. 4) That can be a problem. But see, this is a sign that the same thing is going to happen again if you don't nip this in the bud right now. If you're on the way to fixing your other problems, you'll be that much closer to her. If you have the strongest connection, you can influence her, which means you can caution her against him and his family. You need to make sure she's aware of that, whether it's about you trying to win her love over him or not. (Speaking of which, watch yourself for bias, or you'll come off as if you're just lying to get her away from him.) 5) That varies with the person. Again, ask. "Am I being annoying? Do I come off as obsessive? Am I not giving you enough space?" The more questions you ask, the more you know, the happier you'll make her. Your problems pretty much boil down to communication. There's nothing decidedly unromantic about asking questions you need to know, and once you have the answers the both of you will be better for it. Love and romance are not about two people who just have a telepathic link and automatically know what the other wants to tell them; that's what siblings do. They're about working together to make each other happy. And remember, she has to put in some effort too; don't become too accommodating. You have a right to your personality, and if the two of you aren't cooperating it's not much of a relationship anyway. Just open that communication channel and I'm sure everything will go a lot more smoothly.
Ok, thanks for the help everyone, but I still don't understand how to make her clear that my nephew may not be as "holy" as she thinks he is. And also what do you mean by "bias"? Now she's even putting his name in her msn account saying his name and hug. I think I have to be quick with this, it's getting out of hand here :S
