Is trying to kill herself. The thing is she's been trying to hide it from me, and most of the rest of the group, and I'm not supposed to know. So how do I know? Leaked from a guy in my group who also isn't supposed to know. I also asked about a deep scar on her wrist, and she said she 'fell on a stick'. -_- I'm supposed to trust her and all, but that was a pretty stupid lie. As anyone who has been through a phase like hers would know, she doesn't want help. Two other guys went to our Year Adviser and asked about getting her help. She told me that without mentioning the whole 'suicidal' thing. So basically, I want to help her, but help hasn't been so well recieved. I know I can help her because I've pretty much been through what she has, but how do I approach her, seeing as I'm not supposed to know in the first place? Has anyone had this problem before? I'm very worried, so thankyou in advance =)
Well, that's absolutely horrible! :c You really must help her. No one deserves to have a life taken from them - even if it is their own selves doing the act. I've never encountered a problem like this before, not with a friend at least. I had my own moments a couple of years back where everything was horrible and I just wanted to end it but that's just pathetic. It's running away from the greatest opportunity anyone could ever have, life. So I suggest you have a talk with her, you don't have to make it entirely serious. I mean, if she is declining the help then try disguising it. Like for example, remind her of the things she would miss if she ever did leave - but not in those words, for example, say casual things like 'remember when...' or 'that night when... yeah, we should do that again.' Remind her the beauty of life. Also, this works for myself every time, remind her of the things on her goal list that she has yet to achieve. Even the silliest ones like eating 4 boxes of pizza in a sitting or playing as an opening act for your favorite band. Tough love could also work, you know, you don't want to loose her. I don't think anyone would. Don't be afraid of helping her, she needs it. She needs her friends and her family. She needs you. And it's good if you talk to her, because yeah - you have been through what she has been so you understand. Also, listen to her. She has to open up to someone and just listening can help so greatly. I'm sorry if I wasn't much help but I hope your friend lives a very, very happy life and that she's just smiling everyday. Everyone deserves a smile a day c:
Okay, I can't say I have never been in this situation but it's common for people to not tell them what is going with them. I think the best way to can kind of get through them is really to confront them. Like don't yell at them or whatever just sit them down bring them their fav food or drinks and say like "Listen, I've heard what's been going on and I just wanted to tell you that I'm here for you. So please tell me what's been going on" Wait till they tell you the whole story and then suggest ways to help them. Telling a person they need to get help or someone to talk to is one of the hardest things to do because no one likes to feel like there is something wrong with them. Once they really agree to go get help it's a great thing. They are being really brave and you can support them even more with like going with them to see the therapist and just hanging out with them. Take them out for shopping or whatever you both like doing :3 Good luck.
Ok, first things first, you say she is trying to kill herself, do you know for definite fact she has attempted it? If yes, how has she tried to achieve this? And how many times? With what you have told us, I am inclined to think that she is acting out for attention. I'm not neccessarily saying she is an attention seeker, its entirely possible there is an underlying problem and she is acting out because she actually DOES want help, but is unsure how to ask for it. But the multiple failings at killing herself, the fact that her self harming is in such an exposed place, that she has told you bits and pieces and told other people other parts. It all makes me think that she is looking for help/attention. As for what you should do, to be honest there isn't a whole lot you CAN do, unless you are willing to let her know that you know. And I actually think that might be a wise thing for you to do, but I can understand if you are wary of it because of causing trouble for other people. Arrange a sleepover or a girls only day with her and some other friends, go watch a movie or something, and at some point just let her know that you are completely and totally there for her if she ever needs your help. Other than that, you're just going to have to monitor the situation. Since your Year Advisor seems to know what is going on, I would seek further advice and help from them, they're trained for things like this after all. Good luck, I hope the situation improves <3
I can't say i've ever had a suicidal friend seeing as how I only have a tiny group of friends. But this is horrible... I would just try showing her how good life can be to make her regret trying to kill herself. Once she sees what great friends she has and how much they love her, she might stop.
I don't really have much to say on the matter, but I do have to tell you that your first priority is to keep her alive no matter what. Stalk her, tell an adult, do her homework, anything, even she ends up hating you for it. As long as she's alive there's a possibility that she'll get over whatever is making her want to die.
I have never been in this situation before, but I would say try to talk to her and comfort her. Maybe you can find the reason why she's trying to do this. If it really comes down to it, I suggest medical help, but that's as a last extreme, but I know some drugs can actually make it worse
I have been through this before..and I'm actually going through it with an extremely close friend of mine now. Just do anything to keep her to live. Just try to make life enjoyable for her..if you need to do whatever you can. Don't follow what I did...if it gets to the point where it seems like it's almost time..just tell an adult..or get her mental help. Just remind her how glorious life is.
Oh wow, I'm sorry to hear that. Well, I've never really been through it but I have witnessed friends who are very close to me feeling suicidal and do self harm. It's horrible, but my advice to you is to do little things that you know may cheer her up e.g. take her out for a coffee just as friends and then slide onto the topic of feelings. If you wanted to be sneaky about it you could say you were really worried about a friend who you thinks is self harming and see what advice she gives- however this may not work as she may figure it out, then again that may be a good way of telling her you know. You may not be supposed to know but there's nothing wrong with speculation, just claim you're very worried and want to see how she's doing.
Hmm... Suicidal friends. It's easier to deal with it when it's you. Well, you are her friend, and your role as such is to stay by her side no matter what. That doesn't necessarily mean that you have to stand by and watch her destroy herself; try to slowly start talking her out of it, you have to kind of...'sell' life to her. Explain the cons in complete detail, bring her family into it, if she has younger siblings, use them explicitly. Bring your other friend who know about this into it, they're going to want to help. Take her out, have fun, go to the mall or do whatever you guys love doing best together, show her that living is a great thing, because it is. If all else fails, and I wouldn't normally recommend it because during my dark hours, I stayed away from them, tell her mom and dad. Get her professional help. It's gonna suck for her having to go to counseling and seeing psychiatrist, but at least she's still alive.
I kinda know whatyou talking about as something very similer is happening with my friend... Just let her know that your there for her,and if shes really serious take the selfish approach and ask her how do you think this will effect your family,friends etc,though only if things get really bad. Other than that,just try and find out why shes doing it,either indirectly or asking her straight,and above all try not to hurt her feelings,or make her sad. Good luck hun
She has, apparently attempted it, I think twice, but I'm not sure. As for the attention thing, she does have a tendency to be an attention seeker, and a couple of days ago I would have completely disagreed with you, but lately she's been taking it to her advantage and been like 'oh look at me, I'm so sad' obviously not like that, a little more depressing. A lot of my friends have actually given up trying to help her, just because they don't know what to do. She now has a habit of clicking lighters at school. They don't have any gas, obviously, but she's scratched her fingers from it to the point where both her thumbs were bleeding. Her whole situation is freaking the entire group out. My group is a whole lot quieter, and the 'peacekeeper' of the group was horrified when she saw the lighter. I'm annoyed at her now, because no one can complain about anything, as she usually responds with some sarcastic comment like "oh, you poor thing, I feel so sorry for you." We have problems too, maybe not as serious as yours but still things worth listening to! She's really started to annoy me but I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing, thanks for you help everyone =)
Sorry for coming into this discussion late but i only just realized the thread was even hear when it was brought up to the top. From this post alone i can tell you that this isn't worth pursuing because i was stupid enough to be caught in this situation twice. Your friend seems to be under the illusion that she is entitled to your unwavering loyalty and attention and should that not be the case she will disregard you as a friend simply because she believes she is above you due to her responsibility to take control of her own situation while ignoring everyone elses. The only thing you can do is confront her straight up and say "You are suicidal, we all know that, your not good at hiding it but then again i doubt you wanted to hide it in the first place. Either let us help you or quit the sh!t" A sob story will ensue at this point and then you simply have to say "We have all tried to help you but you don't trust us enough to help a single bit. We all have our stuff to bear and we are no different from you. You're not in a situation that i or anyone else hasn't been in before. So let us help for god-sake and tell us whats up, it isn't as if we can't keep secrets". If you give her anymore attention as a poor victim she will continue on that path and it will only get worse. If you treat people a certain way they will think its alright to act that way and if you allow that she will be gone. The way I've phrased some stuff above is a bit brutal but contrary to popular belief being nice, sympathetic and kind to some people only makes things worse in every sense of the word, on your part and theirs.
