Sneezing... ew... just ew... B|

One more epic nonsense story of my life... XD lol.

So today in Civics class, something interesting happened. A guy who's not really liked in the class suddenly stood up during the lecture and turned around to head to the back of the classroom. Two students (One sitting in front of me, one to the side of me) suddenly ducked. I was like, "What the he-" Then I realized why. The guy standing up ended up sneezing on my face... ontop of that, my mouth was wide open because I was yawning. I just sat there for like five long seconds... and then I just laughed and whiped off my face with my hand. And the teacher excused me to go wash my face.

The guy's excuse for sneezing on me was this: Quoting "I tried to grab a tissue before I sneezed!"

Fellow classmate: "That's what the crook of your arm is for, you moron!"

And now I think I caught a deadly germ. XD lol

Anything like this happened to you guys before?

 

We actually had a 20 minute video at our school about how to sneeze into your sleeve.

 

I would love to see that.

 

I watched something like that at my school. The video had judges that would rate how good random people were at sneezing into their sleeves. xD

 

That was it. Ridiculous, wasn't it?

 

Yeah. No one even payed attention to the video, except to that one part in the beginning. Remember the guy that sneezed into the air and his snot flew out in slow motion? ._.

 

Yeah. My class was in hysterics when the guy in the blue collared shirt was doing the demonstration on how to sneeze in your sleeve, in kind of a modeling posing fashion.

 

I think I remember that. This is the video → http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao7eyqoiIYs

 

Speaking of sneezing I feel horribleee D: I've been sneezing and sniffing ever since 1st period and my mom denies that I'm sick xD and then my foot has been hurting like hell nonstop and my mom is like "Lol it'll be fine" and I'm like "You do know I haven't been able to walk properly and pain free for a week now right?" And ohhh god cramps

/rant

 

That was a disturbing story...

 

I had something like that happen to me.
True story.
I'm just standing next to this guy
Never met this guy before in my life, or in a past life (I can sense this things.)
Well the guy turns to me and looks me dead in the face, and all of a sudden, he sneezes like "Blahgrea!"
Now there was no blocking, no putting the arm over the face, or pushing me away like he's about to turn into a Werewolf like "ugh, something's happening to me, aroo"
He actually did the Robot when he sneezed.
And from the angle of his face, the way the light was hitting it, debris shot out.
You know, like when you use Windex on mist mode?
As opposed to what, laser mode?
Does anyone use that? Just mount a sniper's cope on it and aim, "I got a stain about twenty clicks. I'm taking the shot" *click* "Miss. I need one more shot" *clicks* "Got it, we're going home boys!"
And also, never put the little cap between mist and laser. This isn't a joke, I'm serious!
Bad things happen to good people because of this.
Now I know someone is going to go home, get a windex and be like "Wait a minute, I gotta try this. What's going to happen when you put it halfway?"
What if a fucking ghost came out when you did that?
"Ahahaha, he told you not to put it halfway!
I am Windexor! I will clean your soul!"

Well anyways, I'm looking at the guy and he's looking at me and I'm about to go off.
But then I says to myself, "LilBueno," I says, "Let's take the high road, be the bigger man here."
So I look at the guy and I say "GOD BLESS YOU."
You know, like I'm saying 'God bless you" but I mean, 'Cover your fucking mouth'
By the way, I say "God bless you," Not "bless you". Because I can't do that.
Only the big man upstairs can do that. I'm just a messenger for the big guns.
I also don't say Gesundheit, I don't even know what that means.
I feel like I'm honoring Hitler when I say it, like "Gesundheit, mein fuhrer!"
End up on the history channel cuz some guy sneezed.

So anyway, the guy looks at me and just says, "I'm an atheist."
Can you believe this guy? How am I supposed to know that?
And even if I did, what do you tell an atheist when he sneezes?
"When you die nothing happens."
He was just snarky.
Yeah, snarky.
It's a word
Look it up
Google magic, my friend.

So then the guy asks me, "what do you believe in?"
SO I tell him, "Well I was raised Catholic. I believe when I die my body will ascend to Heaven.
And all my dead ancestors will be there, like it'd an airport and they'd say 'Guess who's dead sucker? Naw, come here, float over here, check this shit out."
While I"m telling him this, the guy is laughing, muttering "This? haha. You believe that?"
So I ask him, "Well what do you believe in?'
And then he gets real serious and says, "I'll tell you, son." Like he's about to school me.
He says, "I believe when I die, my body will decompose and return to the earth. From there, I will become fertiziler for the plant life and be reborn as a magnificent tree!"

Can you believe this guy?
Yeah, a tree.
Johnny fuckin Weeping Will over here.
You know? I hope he does become a tree
And one night, he's just do his tree thing, whatever it is trees do.
I know they do something the wind.
So he's just out there swaying in the forest
when all of a sudden, a big sweaty lumberjack comes, dragging an axe
and just starts chopping him like "Arg! Awr!Arg!"
Wrap a chain around him, drag him through all the mud and dirt
take him to a factory and turn him into paper.
And when he's paper,
You print the fucking bible on him!

/DaneCook

 

...Yeeeees Dane Cook.

 

I got sick too.
Then I punched a baby.
I feel much better.


...
Did I mention I hit my head really hard the other day? 8D

 

This kid in my class...Yeah...He uh...

I was standing right beside him, since my locker is beside his...then all of a sudden:

"ACHAGYsfuatFGIASTIASFY!"
He shoots a large and disgusting sneeze, right in my direction.
Then, I felt like slapping him in his face. -_-

 

Did I mention I'm in so much pain? ;~;

 

ugh...... smack him

 

Did I mention that I'd sprained my wrist and lost my voice?

C'MON GUYS LET'S ALL RANT ABOUT OUR ILL HEALTH.

 

I've been sneezing and coughing all day Dx

 

I hear you dude, I've been getting bad headaches and migranes for the past few days. D:

 

lol! Health rant... ^^ Go, go, go! XD