Part 3 of my Fan-Fic. As we last left off "Even" was talking to Nameless. Chapter 3 turned out longer than I expected For the newbies: Chap I: Here! Chap II: Here! -------------------------- Chapter 3: Dark Secrets revealed. “Do you remember that day correctly? Why did you leave them to die?” Even asked in a sarcastic way. “I don’t really know…It was a long time ago. I’m guessing something horrible they did” Even looked at him sharply. “….I wouldn’t expect you to remember. You killed your family.” “Wha…What are you saying?” Said Nameless in a confused tone. -------Half an hour later-------------------- We see Nameless walking down a road, looking perplexed. More than usual anyway. What could Even have possibly said to make him look this way? Even's words kept passing through his head. He stopped. Leaned his hand on a house. Trying to balance himself, like he was going to fall flat. He heard a voice from behind him calling him. While sighing, he turned around to see who was calling him. A man, a young man to be accurate. His Unnatural spiky hair seemed like a trademark for him, well they were almost unnatural. He had bright blue eyes that were a bit mesmerizing. “Hey!” He shouted while running closer to Nameless “Feels like forever since last we talked. I heard what happened in the town square. You can always count on Aqua to make a “right on time” entrance. Right?” He said with a smile on his face. “Oh, hey Ven” The sad look on his face was lifted “Yea, you gotta love her.” “So…Did anything happen between you two?” He said while winking at Nameless. “Nah, She….left before I could even say thank you” “Aw, well maybe next time right?!” He joked with a big grin on his face. A bond can be seen between these two. Usually Nameless could tell Ven anything. But he would never talk about the slightest thing about his personal life. “Hey, do you have free time?” He continued. “I want you to see someone”. “And who would this someone be?” Nameless asked “An amazing man….uhhh, not really man. Well he isn’t….” “And this is making sense….how?!” Nameless interrupted. He crossed his arm in annoyance. “Gah, just come with me.” Nameless laughed at Ven and agreed to go with him. ----------------- Finally at the mysterious “man’s” house, Ven told Nameless. “He might seem a bit strange at first, looks and all. But he really is a good person.” They entered the house. Nameless seemed glad to see an actual house this time. Everything was in its place. Books, pens, chairs. The owner of the house seemed to love art. Beautiful sculptures of famous artists and persons from almost every world. He had paintings hung up on the wall. Painting of environments, worlds. One painting caught our hero’s eyes. Looks like a painting of a huge magical tower. And in the corner of the painting were the words: “To my favorite pupil, May you never forget this place; Yen Sid”. “I’m over here!” said a voice coming from the next room. They entered the next room. The first thing Nameless paid attention to was Aqua. They both looked at each other but never made eye contact. He kept walking until he heard a squeaky voice. “Glad you joined us gentlemen”. But the person who said this was no where to be found. Until he heard it again. “Down here!” A really short man was standing behind Nameless. No, not a man, a mouse! With big round ears. He was wearing a mage’s clothe. “Ah, king Mickey” Said Ven. “Good to see you again” “King…Mickey?” Whispered Nameless to himself. Then he said “So, to what do I owe this honor your highness?” “Haha, please none of that highness stuff. You must be tired after your little encounter. Please! Rest for now! We’ll talk tomorrow. Your rooms are already ready. And I your dinners are in your rooms. ” None of them wanted to turn down such an offer. Especially from a king. They decided to stay. After all, a free night at such a luxurious house doesn’t come every day. They all bowed then left the room. Except for Nameless, when he was about to leave Mickey asked him “Do you have a name?” Nameless chuckled. “Kuro” ----------------------- Kuro went to his room, his dinner was there but he didn’t feel hungry. He just went to sleep. Kuro saw himself in his house. Windows and doors shut as they always are. He started looking around. He suddenly heard a voice. “Why did you do it?” He turned around only to see his mother. “Mom…” He said. She lifted up her hand and started pointed at Kuro. She said with a creepy voice “You did this. You did this” And kept on saying it until her arm fell off. Then she started screaming. Stains of blood started appearing on the walls. Kuro put his hands over his ears and fell to his knees. Then started screaming. You suddenly see him waking up. It was just a dream…more like a nightmare. “He was right…” Kuro said --------4 hours earlier--------- “You killed your family.” “Wha…What are you saying?” Even started taking small steps. “Remember when I said earlier that a person turns into a heartless if darkness overwhelms a heart?” Kuro slowly nodded “Well that happened to you. Anger, hate, obsession, all these things overwhelmed your heart. You finally became a monster.” “You mean…like the one I saw?’ He asked. “Not even close, you became more of a monster then that embarrassment of a creature you saw. You kept your human form, yet you couldn’t control yourself” Kuro stayed quiet for a few seconds. Then he finally said “Why should I believe you?” “Oh, I never asked you to. Soon enough you will find out for yourself if I was lying or not. But know this; you are a being of darkness.” After seeing him leave, a man came out of an other room and started clapping his hands. “Well done” he said. “How long have you been there Ale?” “Long enough my friend, at least he now knows the truth. Phase 2 of our plan is complete. And Kuro reacted just as “he” said he would. And soon he will join us, just like all did.” -------------------------------- Enough for now! As you can see I finally decided to name him. "Kuro" Means "dark". I had a reason why I didn't name him at first. Naming him was a last minute decision. And sorry Axel fans! You know the drill, comment truthfully!
Ok,biiiig improvement since last time. With both descriptions and dialogue. Story is great as always. :D There are still some things you need to sharpen...but it's waay better then before. Must...read....next....chapter... And you had to make Axel's somebody evil?!? I was an Axel fan!xD Edit:Oh,and by the way, I like how you put the "30 minutes later" and went back to it in the end of the chapter just so you can have the cliffhanger(ish)
I'm back! ::gutair solo:: Yes I am back in BLACK!!! Ahem, sorry 'bout that. ::Sheephish:: Too much music. Wow, this is getting even more intresting, and you had him intrested first chapter. O.o I swore that Nameless was Xheanort, but you dashed those dreams so now I'm a little confused. It's ok though! Confusion is good. It lets you sit back anc giggle as I tear my hair out trying to figure out what's going on now. XD Personally I LOVE making my readers confused. Check out Broken Chains and you'll see what I mean. ::evil laugh:: Ahem. Again I digress. Hmm, You discriptions are getting more and more complex which is good, but I have one line that really... skipps me. XP Hmm, well if he was behind Nameless how could you see him? And it just seems too jumpy/listy. Instead could you say- " ." And then Mickey could proceed to kick his butt for thinking he was a man. XD Or not. :::p :: OOooo am I picking up on some Nameless/Auqa shipping? I like. :D Keep up the good work, I'll be back for the Next installment.
This is much better. And we finally learn his name! That was an extremely smart idea on your part to name him Kuro. The fact that his name even means 'dark' gives you a better insight into his persona. And I'm an Axel fan, but messing with the characters is always fun. Adding the two characters from the secret movie was a great twist too. This story is getting more interesting with each and every sentence....
Woa,ok lol. I was scared I made it worse cuz this thread has been up since yesterday O.o . Ahhh,the story isn't far from over. 2-3 chapters tops. But I can asure you the ending will be something spectacular.*Starts shivering* Kuro is actually the knight in the secret ending. Since they didn't give him a name I named him myself. Gah,I have to finish the story before monday or else the next chapters would take a long time. By the way,I changed something in the story!Important for the story: Remember when a hooded man gave Aqua a necklace with the Nobody insignia, well it's now a heartless insignia. I really needed to change that.
Haha, well this if for the sloooow people...Then again there are only 4 people reading my fan-fic. xD
