(Kay, let's start off by saying, this is my FIRST Kingdom Hearts fanfic, so don't expect it to be perfect. Polite criticism, is of course, okay, but please don't say rude things about the story. I'm new to writing them. I know the whole "There's always room for improvement" thing, and I agree. I hope that as I continue this story, I will improve at writing. That's it for the respect part. Now, for things you might need to know when you're looking for the future chapters. Don't worry about finding them, because I'll post each of them here as a reply. Saves you a lot of time, because you can conveniently bookmark this page to get back to it. I will try to reply to each and every one of YOUR replies, but if I don't, please keep your pants on. I'm going to be constantly busy writing the chapters. Also, their may be other characters from Kingdom Hearts too, of course, living on Destiny Island. Anyway, enough of my babble. Time for the story.) It had been a while now since Sora defeated Xemnas and restored peace to the worlds. Life on Destiny Island was pretty grand. Right now, it couldn't get much better, as now, for the first time in his life, Sora could spend time with Kairi without rushing off on some important mission. Kairi was also very content with Sora's new schedule, she'd been afraid he wouldn't make it through defeating all of the Organization. But he had. Namine and Roxas forever resided in Kairi and Sora's minds. And now, here they were, living their lives out in peace and happiness...well... for the time being..at least. "Selph, do you think you could maybe stop daydreaming and help me with these streamers?" Kairi snapped. Selphie, who had been daydreaming about a certain someone, came back to life and grabbed the other end of the streamers. "Now, pull the other end until you get to that post. There. Wait, stop! Selphie, you ripped them!" "Oh, sorry." "Selph, these streamers aren't that cheap, y'know. Now use your brain once in a while." growled Kairi. "I did, I just made a mistake." retorted Selphie. Rolling her eyes, Kairi sat down, putting her head in her hands. "How are we ever going to get this finished for Riku's surprise party tomorrow?" Riku's birthday was the next day and it was very important to the girls that he got the best party ever. Sora, who'd been sitting watching the girls attempt to put the streamers up in that area for an hour, finally spoke. "Maybe we should call in some help," he chuckled. With that, he put his hand out, and within seconds his Keyblade appeared. "SUMMON!" he thought of who he wanted to come, and they appeared. "Hey guys, think you could help with a party?" asked Sora. "Sora...are you out of your mind...they can't help us...more than likely they'll ruin the whole thing!" said Kairi. "HEY!" replied Donald. Goofy looked puzzled, "A-hyuk, Sora, I don't think I'm cut out for this." Donald elbowed Goofy. "OWCH!" "You know what, I take that back. I've been waitin' for a chance to prove how good I am at setting up parties." Donald nodded, "We're in." "I'm telling you Sora, this ISN'T a good idea," said Kairi. Easy, Kairi. Donald may be a little temperamental, but he's a great magician. Imagine the things he can make for the party. Even though Goofy's been a little disoriented since that incident back in Hollow Bastion, he's always secretly made some killer paopu cake Namine's voice said, with a laugh. "Fine, I agree." said Kairi. "But if you mess up one thing, ONE thing, you're TOAST." Donald and Goofy nodded. Like a commando, Kairi state her commands, "Donald, use your magic and start making cool stuff for the party, Goofy, make some paopu cake, I want to taste it." While Donald and Goofy were busying themselves, Kairi realized she'd completely forgotten about Selphie. "Selph" "Yea?" "Sorry for being so rude to you earlier..I'm just a little nervous about this party. Riku's been my friend for a while, and I don't want his party to be anything less than perfect." "Yeah, I understand." "Selph, I'm hungry, wanna hit the mall for some food?" "Sure." So the three headed off, Selphie, Sora, and Kairi, to the Destiny Island Mall. After they were at the food court, Selphie went over to Mcgenie's for three chicken wraps with Colas. "Kairi." Yes, Sora?" "You know how Riku has never had a love relationship before?" "Yeah." "Well..I was thinking. Since it's his party tommorow and all..maybe we could lend a helping hand with that." "Just what exactly do you have in mind?" "I think Selphie likes him." "How in Hades' name would you know that?" "Every time she's around him, she can't stop giggling...and the way she checks him out when he's not looking..it's obvious." Kairi smiled, "So what you're saying is, you want us to play matchmaker between Riku and Selph tommorow night at the party?" "Well...yeah." "OK." "It's about time for Riku to find a signficant other, so for once, I agree with you, Sora." "Yeah." "Selph is coming back." Sora smiled, "I'm going back to check on Donald and Goofy, I'm not really that hungry. You can have my wrap." He kissed Kairi on the cheek, then left. While Kairi nibbled on her chicken wrap, she realized why Sora had left. She decided to ask Selphie how she felt about Riku. "Hey Selph, if I asked you something personal, would you be mad?" "No, why? What're you going to ask me?" "Do you like Riku or something?" An awkward silence came between them. After a few minutes Selphie sighed, "Is it that obvious?" "Duh, every time he comes around you drool over him." "DO NOT!" "Don't deny it!" Kairi laughed, "You have a crush." "Yes, well. I think he's a really nice guy." "Me too... but I don't have the hots for him." Selphie smiled, "Whatever." ++++ "Your majesty, there is a man who wants to speak with you." "Let him in," King Mickey replied. The visitor bowed, "It is an honor, sir." "Leon, it's good to see you. Is there any special reason why you came here?" "Well, yes there is, and I'm afraid it's pretty bad." "What?" "I believe the Organization has found a loophole in the Radiant Garden security system that allows them to materialize themselves in Ansem's computer lab." "This cannot be.." Leon nodded, "Sadly, it can, because it's already happened. A few of the members are back." "Who?" "Axel, Demyx, and Marluxia." King Mickey nodded solemnly. "The REAL problem is if Xemnas gets out." A servant of the king entered, "Someone's on the phone for you, your majesty." He handed the king the phone. "Excuse me, Leon." With that, he spoke. King Mickey: Hello? Strange Voice: I have some very bad news for you, your majesty. King Mickey: What...what's wrong? Strange Voice: All of the Organization members have escaped..including Xemnas..and they're planning on getting their fair share of revenge. King Mickey:NO, this can't be happening. Who is this, anyway?! -click- As soon as the King dropped the phone, the others knew something terrible must've went wrong. "What's going on?" asked Leon. King Mickey shook his head sadly, "They've escaped."
Ok, it's a good story so far, really I'm not that much into SelphieXRiku... never even thought about it, how'd u think it up? Anyways, you should seperate the talking so that it's easier to read, for example: "This cannot be.." Leon nodded, "Sadly, it can, because it's already happened. A few of the members are back." "Who?" "Axel, Demyx, and Marluxia." King Mickey nodded solemnly. "The REAL problem is if Xemnas gets out." And you could give them more facial expression, and the way how they talked(yelled, whimpered, screeched). Keep going, I'm very interested in it.
Well, I came up with the whole Selphie x Riku thing because I thought there was time for a change. Riku's always been a sort of solitary guy, but I thought that maybe if I changed it it'd make the story a bit more interesting, spice it up a bit. Thus, how I came up with the Selphie and Riku couple. I will keep all of your suggestions in mind for the next update. Thanks for your encouragement, and I'll always think of you as the first person who told me to keep moving forward with this. (:
GAH! Not a Bunny on the forums! RUN AND PROTECT YOUR YOUNG ONES MY FRIENDS! Oh wait...the whole "Panic" thing is ajoke right? ... What's a bunny? Anyway, great story! I like how you paired Selphie and Riku together instead of the usual: RikuXKairi....or worse yet....RikuXTidus, Wakka, or even....Sora.... Can't wai to read more!
I think I'm going to do the next chapter tommorow! (: @BamaSebastian: Not like I'm evil or anything..well maybe a little. Lol. -cough-
this is actuly very good, i like it and i am very intrested to read more. i've read many fanfics i and i think this is good i agree you need to space out the speaking as it can make it hard to understand otherwise riku x selphie thats new and original, glad to see your not just following the same trends (pairs whatever)
Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it. On the next update all dialogue will be spaced. Yes, that's what I was aiming for when I decided to pair Selphie and Riku, originality. (Here it is, the second chapter of The Return of the Organization. I hope you like it. Also, I spaced out most of the dialogue, which makes it easier to read now. I hope you like it. Tell me what you think.) Sighing, Riku finished off his sandwich, then stood up to leave the mall. Then Sora came walking up, acting calm cool and collected. With a smirk, Riku walked over to meet him, knowing something was up. "Hey Riku, wanna take a walk?" asked Sora casually, hoping his face wouldn't give anything away. "Uh, sure." Riku and Sora set off walking, and Riku noticed that they were walking in the direction of Destiny Island beach. "So, where are we walking to?" said Riku. "I don't know.," replied Sora. A smile appeared on his face. Riku raised an eyebrow skeptically, giving Sora the You're hiding something look. "Right." "Nice way to keep him from being suspicious, Sora." said Roxas. "I'm trying my hardest, Roxas" thought Sora. Sora cleared his throat and kept walking. ++++ "HURRY!" Kairi paced back and forth as Donald scrambled to move the cake over to the table. Goofy was busy writing "Happy Birthday Riku" in the sand, while Selphie had just finished putting her fresh baked pineapple cookies on the table. "Here he comes," Kairi whispered. "1....2....3" "SUPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIKU!" Riku smiled, "Thanks!" Sora smiled, "Did I make it obvious?" Riku laughed. "Yea Sora, you kinda did. Guys, you didn't have to do this, but I'm glad you did." Selphie beamed, "I baked the cookies." Riku went over and tasted one. "WHOA! These are delicious." Goofy, who'd been waiting for quite some time, finally spoke, "H-yuk, wait till you taste the cake. It's my family recipe." Everyone laughed when a look of fright appeared on Riku's face. Goofy wasn't exactly one to be trusted baking a cake for a birthday party. ++++ "I must alert Sora and Riku at once," said King Mickey solemnly. "Oh my, and I heard they're celebrating Riku's birthday today." "I know, Minnie, it's just, the worlds are at stake here." Queen Minnie nodded, "Then I guess it must be done." King Mickey raised his Keyblade, closed his eyes, and chanted. Seconds later, the letter was on its way to Destiny Island. ++++ Sora and the others had been pigging out for about the last 30 minutes, when they realized they still had to open presents. Kairi noticed that there was a new present there that hadn't been before, but didn't say anything. Selphie sat beside Riku, the happiest smile on her face. "So, you guys got me presents too?" Riku laughed. "Yeah, the heart shaped one's the one from me," said Selphie shyly. "Go ahead, open them," Sora urged, a look of eagerness on his face. Riku tore away at the first present, from Selphie. "Ahh, chocolates, thanks Selph." He put down the chocolates, then picked up the second. To: Riku From: Goofy Inside were some jeans from the mall. "Well, I guess one can never have enough jeans, thanks Goof." He then started opening the third one, which was from Sora. Even before he opened it, he knew what it was. "That book I've been wanting so much?! The Brotherhood of the Traveling Keybladers?! Gee, thanks, Sora." Sora nodded. Riku continued his present opening extravaganza. The fourth present was from Kairi, a picture of all of them together, with best friends forever written on the back. "Sora, the way you're smiling in that picture..I don't know. Thanks Kairi." The last one was from Donald, a book about spells. "Nice, Don." But then Riku realized there was another one. He counted everyone that was there, a look of confusion appearing on his face. "But, I opened all your presents...who could possibly.." He trailed off as he opened up the present. It was a letter from the King. Dear Riku, First, I must say, happy birthday Riku. I'm glad everyone threw you that party, and I wish I could be there, but I have some bad news to inform you of. You see, the Organization found a loophole in Radiant Garden's security system, and they managed to get through the computer system and materialized themselves in Ansem's computer lab. In other words, they're back, and I'm asking you, Sora, Donald, and Goofy to come back and fight, together as a team. Meet me at Disney Castle immediately after you receive this letter. Sincerely, King Mickey Riku almost dropped the letter in surprise. "Sora, we have to go back." He summoned a Gummi ship. "Yes, and we are, Riku." Sora said, sadly. Kairi looked awestruck, "But...Sora...wh-what if something happens? Please, don't leave me." "I'm sorry Kairi, but it's almost as if I have no choice." Sora stated. "But.." "Kairi, I'll come back to you." "Promise?" "Promise." Sighing, Sora kissed Kairi, and hopped aboard the Gummi ship. "See you soon." Riku nodded, solemnly. "We've done this before, we should be able to do it again." Tears rolled down Kairi's cheeks as Donald and Goofy boarded as well. "B-bye." Selphie, who'd been relatively silent the whole time, stuttered, "Bye..Riku."
good chapter i enjoyed it, thank you for spacing out the speaking it is waay easier to understand bunny you have only done 5-6 posts and two of those were chapters in this fantastic story, brilliant
... How come you're great and your first fanfic is great... While all of mine die within a week... And I still don't know what bunny is! WHAT ZU HUUK IS A BUNNY!
Chapter 3 (Chapter 3 of the story. It took me a while to complete, so I hope you'll like it. Thanks for the encouragement, all of you, and I appreciate your patronage. Tell me what you think about it!) "Wake up Sora," said Donald, "We're here." "Wha-wha, OH." Sora sighed, and realized the Organization returning was real, and not a bad dream. In front of them was Radiant Gardens, the very same city that had before been called Hollow Bastion. Sora, Donald, Goofy, and Riku hopped off the Gummi ship and proceded to walk to Merlin's house. They needed to talk to Leon and the gang, to find out what exactly they needed to do. When they entered Merlin's house, Leon nodded and said, "Shut the door. They might listen in if we leave it open." After shutting the door, Sora spoke, "So...we have to fight the Organization all over again?" "Looks that way," replied Leon with a grim look on his face. "Where are they, then, we'll show 'em?!" demanded Riku angrily. "Easy now, Riku," said Aerith, "Think for a moment. If the Organization regenerated themselves, they're going to be even stronger than they previously were. In other words, don't get too cocky." "Yeah, yeah," growled Riku. "They're most likely spread out throughout the worlds, so you guys are probably going to be traveling around a lot," Leon said. "Like old times?" asked Goofy eagerly. "Like old times," confirmed Leon. Cid, who had previously been busy working on his computer finally spoke, "No doubt there'll be Heartless. The Organization needs it's little helpers, after all." "Yeah, those we can deal with," Donald laughed. "I wonder..." Sora thought out loud, his usual smile dissapearing. "What is it?" asked Leon. "Nothing." All the while, Sora had been thinking about Axel. Axel had ended up being a friend. But now, with the Organization back, he knew he'd have to fight him. He didn't want to, though. It was like Axel was a good guy on the inside, and Sora knew he'd regret it if he fought Axel and won. ++++ Kairi and Selphie walked on the beach, in complete silence at first. They were both thinking about what was going to happen, how the guys they loved were going to fight the Organization. "What if they do come back?" asked Kairi. "What if they don't?" asked Selphie. Both of them began to cry. ++++ Sora and the others had left Hollow Bastion, and were heading for Beast's Castle, fear eating away at their hopes. "I wonder who we'll meet up with here?" asked Donald. "Whoever it is, it's going to be a tough fight. We need to conserve magic, just in case we have to cure ourselves." Riku said, a serious look on his face. Sora nodded. As they stepped off the Gummi ship, they heard a thud and a cry. Rushing towards the noise, they found Beast lying on the floor of the castle, a bewildered look on his face, and Belle, scared stiff, pointing towards the staircase. "Sora, Riku, Donald, Goofy, I'm so glad you're here!" Belle yelled. "What..the..." Beast was apparently clueless. "What happened Beast?" asked Goofy with concern. "Well. This strange kid just ran in and knocked me over, without even knocking on the door. He went upstairs, said he was taking over this place. He had this weird mullet hairdo, with what looked like a guitar as a weapon," said Beast angrily. Demyx, everyone thought at the same time. Sora laughed, "He's the first one we fight?" Riku cleared his throat, "Sora, remember what Aerith said? They're all most likely going to be stronger." Donald snickered at the thought of Demyx being stronger. Sora tried to keep a serious tone in his voice, "Right. Well, we might as well start looking for him." But they didn't have to look long. As they ascended the stairs, they could hear the voice of Demyx, a frightened tone to it, coming from Belle's bedroom. Muttering under his breath, Sora flung open the door. Startled, Demyx tried to run, but tripped over Lumiere, who demanded, "JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" Sora sighed, "So, it's you again. The sitar guy." "Yeah, it's me." Demyx growled. Riku spoke under his breath, "What a loser..." "Now that's just plain rude!" yelled Demyx. He picked up his sitar that he'd dropped, "Let's settle this, then." Sora drew his keyblade, a determined look on his face. "Dance water dance!" yelled Demyx again. Around him appeared 100 clones. "Not going easy on you this time, Sora," he said with a smirk. The four good guys, of course, weren't dumb. They each grabbed one of the Demyx clones and swung them around. In a few seconds, all 100 clones were gone. "Wow, you're better than I thought you'd be. Let me see what you think about THIS!" said Demyx. Suddenly, water shot out of the ground, sending Sora flying. He landed on the ground with a thud. "That had to hurt..." said Donald. As quickly as he had fallen, Sora sprung back up, and charged at Demyx. With eerie preciseness, he swung his keyblade at Demyx, knocking the sitar right out of his hand. "HEY! That's not very nice!" sputtered Demyx. With a smirk on his face, Sora responded, "Who said I have to be nice. It's you we're talking about here." With that, he swung his keyblade again, knocking Demyx to the ground. Demyx slowly got up, then grabbed his sitar. "That DOES it." He used the power of water to his benefits again, sending water spurting out of the ground everywhere. This time, the whole group got knocked off their feet. Riku, of course, had a plan. Why not distract Demyx, so he'd stop using water and talk. Then Sora and the other guys could sneak up behind him.. "Hey Demyx, where'd you get your name from, the big book of LOSERS?!" Demyx's head turned slowly towards Riku. He squinted and growled a reply, "TAKE THAT BACK! My mom gave it to me 'cause noone else in the world has the name Demyx." All the while. Sora, Donald, and Goofy, were sneaking ever closer to Demyx. Riku snorted, "Sure. So are you going to cut your hair, or are you going to let it grow out so you can pass for a girl." Demyx snappily replied, "NO. It's a nice style!" Sora, Donald, and Goofy were close behind Demyx. Laughing, Riku spoke one final insult, "Who said that, your grandma?!" "Wha--why you--" Demyx couldn't speak anymore, as Sora had just smacked his keyblade hard into his head. In addition to that, Donald and Goofy had walloped him in both legs. "Oh..my head...my legs...ow...it hurts." He moaned, sinking to the ground. "LEAVE ME ALONE!" With that he quickly got up, opened up a portal, and retreated. "HEY, COME BACK HERE! WE AREN'T FINISHED WITH YOU, KID!" Donald yelled, running towards the dissapearing portal and trying to jump into it. He ended up on the ground, of course. Grumbling, he got up and walked back over to Sora. "What a coward." Sora nodded, "Yeah, but something tells me we may not've seen the last of him." "Yeah, we didn't actually finish him off." Riku stated. With that, they all walked back to where Beast and Belle where. "It's all taken care of now, you guys." Sora said with a satisfied smile. "That's good to know." said Belle, beaming. "Yeah, just wish I could've came with you. I was going to give that kid a talking to," snapped Beast. Riku only shook his head and sighed, "If only all the Organization members would be that easy to scare."
Alrite! Nice chapters, I really enjoyed them, but really, there are some mistakes; The Beast and Belle, nevr knew riku... well, the beast did.., but if the Beast saw Riku again, he'd probably try to tear him limb from limb the organization gave Demyx his name..., not his mom, though that did make me lol. the way how Riku, wants to rush in and beat up the org..., it seems kinda out of character. But I really like the chapter, espicially when Sora says he thinks they haven't seen the last of him, and Riku says, obviously not, since they haven't beaten him yet. Also, it seems like your rushing through the story, take your time, think it through, read it over, stuff like that. I don't want to seem like a hypocrite, telling you to finish the next chapter quickly, after I just said take your time..., but well..., I'm anxious for the next chapter.
@ Ralor:Yes. I'm sorry for the mistakes, sometimes it's slightly difficult keeping everyone in character. Even though the Organization gave Demyx his name, I was kinda going by the fact that most everyone has a mom, and moms usually give people their names. lol. Well anyway, yeah, I don't think I have Riku down as well as the others. I realize that he's the serious type, but I do admit I might've made him a bit too arrogant. xD I'm not really rushing on the chapters, but through the rest of the story I'm going to fine tune the attitudes of the characters, especially Riku, since he's the one I'm having difficulty with. @ Xephos: Thank you, and there'll be more in due time. (;
Yeah, I understand completely, it's reli hard to describe Riku's character. One minute, he's dead serious, next he's joking around with Sora..., but thing, I don't think I've evr seen him anxious or hyperactive. And you don't need to be sorry, I make mistakes ALL the time on my fic, too.
very good chapter, Riku is extreamly hard to do and so don't worry to much just try to get him more him (i know that sounds stupid its really hard to discribe) ummm less arrogant definetly
Chapter 4 (Finally, Chapter 4. Very short, but it's still a chapter. The next one will be normal length. There are some strange things going on at Beast's castle, and that's all I'm going to say. Anyway, enjoy.) Beast raised a brow, "Guys, I think you need to fill me in on what's going in. If you'd like, you can have supper with us." Sora nodded, "Sure." As the group sat down at the tables to eat, Riku began to talk about what was going on, "The Organization somehow materialized themselves back in Radiant Garden, putting a major threat on the worlds. Thus the reason we are returning to every world we saved." Belle, who was serving everyone chicken with rolls, said "So, let me get this straight, The Organization is really, truly, without a doubt...back?" "That's right," said Sora, with a sigh. "Then you guys had better stay overnight here and rest up. It's no use battling when you're exhausted," replied Belle. Although Belle spoke the truth, Riku didn't really believe they needed to stay there, "Yes, but we really need to take advantage of every minute. We don't know how much time we have left, after all." Beast gave the group a face that said all too clearly that they were going to stay. "You guys really need your rest. Besides, I can tell you're all worn out." Sora turned to see that Goofy had fallen asleep at the table and Riku was just then dozing off. He sighed and reluctantly agreed, "Fine." Donald, who hadn't taken so much as a bite out of his chicken, spoke. "I don't feel comfortable eating chicken...do you have something else?" Belle smiled and returned to the kitchen. A few moments later she returned with salmon. "Works for me," Donald said in a rare but happy tone. +++++ "Where is Axel?" growled Xemnas. "I DON'T KNOW, OKAY!" replied Larxene. "The traitor. I knew he'd never amount to anything," said Xemnas, shaking his head disapprovingly. "Yeah yeah yeah," said Larxene, rolling her eyes. "Find Axel for me, Larxene, or life may become most unpleasant for you," whispered Xemnas with a sly grin. "Alright, alright. I'll find him for you." Larxene said, walking off. +++++ "Gawrsh, these beds are dusty," complained Goofy, "How exactly am I supposed to sleep on this anyway?" Sora shrugged, "Just bear it, Goofy. This is only for a night." Riku, who was snoring loudly, was completely oblivious to their talking. Donald, however, was exploring the room. He found a book, and dusting it off, realized it was some sort of fairytale. "Hansem and Grater? There are some very strange things around here," he laughed. Shutting the book, he got into his dusty bed and soon fell asleep. Sora soon fell asleep too, but his sleep didn't last long. He soon awoke to a chilling breeze in the room. "Wha??" He mumbled drowsily. There was a strange girl in the room. But who was she..and what did she want?
