Quija Board Transcripts Time

no-reality_allowed · Sep 6, 2009

Here's one I found of a group of friends talking to apparently the spirit of a rapist. These are pretty fun to read.

P: the people
B: the board

[Mystery rape spirit (Wallfag)]
This one started pretty quickly and moves faster.

Pair: We respectfully ask to speak to someone from another plane. We only want to communicate with you peacefully and safely. Is there anyone who can talk with us?
B: Yes

P: Hello. Will you tell us you name?
B: No

P: No? Can you tell us something about you? Where are you from?
B: The walls.

P: What do you do in the was?
B: I creep. I creep.

P: What do you look like?
B:The most beautiful. Hair and fingers most beautiful fingers.

P: How old are you?
B: no

P: So why do you creep in our walls?
B: I creep. I creep in walls and below and above. I can see you with my beautiful eyes.

P: You're watching us?
B: Yes

P: Doesn't that get boring?
B: I want to taste.

P: You want to eat us?
B: You are beautiful.

P: We do not give you permission to hurt us.
B: I will creep. You will sleep. I will be above you. You are beautiful.

P: Thank you.
B: Give me your eyes.

P: No! We need those!
B: You are so beautiful. Give me your eyes. I want to taste.

P: No. If you threaten us, we'll have to stop talking to you.
B: I do not care. I will creep with my fingers and take your eyes.

P: This is your final warning. You cannot harm us.
B: Ok

P: Are you or were you human?
B: Yes

P: Did you die?
B: No.

P: Is there anything you want to tell us?
B: Touch her cunt. Stuff her cunt.

P: (At this point she is starting to breathe really heavy and he's pissed.) I thought you wanted our eyes?
B: Fuck her cunt and taste her eyes. Cut her cut her. Yes yes yes yes yes...

P: (She tells him to stop) Spirit we thank you for your time, but we can't talk to you any more. You must leave us now. Goodbye.

(So basically we should have stuck with Night. She's pretty badly shaken up, but we could probably convince her to tough it out. Should we try one more?)
Click to expand...

jafar · Sep 6, 2009

oh lol

GhettoXemnas · Sep 6, 2009

Where'd you find this ****?

Radiowave · Sep 6, 2009

"-how old are you?"
"-no."

I was laughing my ass off when I read this.

no-reality_allowed · Sep 6, 2009

This one made me lol so hard.

My boyfriend Jason and I were playing with our board last night. My two sisters were watching, and here's how it went:

Me: We would like to make contact with any spirit who means us absolutely no harm. If you want to communicate and mean us no harm, you are welcome and invited into our home. Is anybody here with us?
Board: Yes

Me: What is your name?
Board: No

Me: You don't want to tell us?
Board: No

Me: Are you in Heaven or Hell?
Board: Hell

Me: Are you evil?
Board: No

Me: Then why are you in Hell?
Board: No

Me: Where are you right now?
Board: by Jason

Me: I thought you were in Hell?
Board: I can be in two places at once

Me: Do you have any advice for us?
Board: Yes

Me: For who?
Board: Morgan (my sister)

Me: What is it?
Board: She should fuck me

Me: haha! What should Chelsey do? (other sister)
Board: Watch

Me: What should I do?
Board: Fuck me too

Me: What should Jason do?
Board: Leave

Me: You're not very nice! Do you like us?
Board: No dumb

Me: We're dumb??
Board: Yes

Me: Then why do you want to talk to us?
Board: Bored

Me: Is Hell boring?
Board: No

Me: Is anyone I know there?
Board: Yes

Me: Who?
Board: No

Me: Is Michael J. there?
Board: Yes

Me: He's in Hell? What is he doing right now?
Board: being tortured

Me: By who?
Board: Satan

Me: What is Satan doing?
Board: Butt fucking him

Me: Does he like it?
Board: No

Me: I thought he'd like it.
Board: Fucking with a Thorny ****

Me: Wow. Does Satan do that to everyone?
Board: Yes

Me: Has he done it to you?
Board: Yes

Me: Is Michael black or white in Hell?
Board: Black

Me: Will you tell me anyone else who is there?
Board: No

Me: Will you tell us your name please?
Board: No

Me: When did you die?
Board: 1996

Me: So you don't like any of us?
Board: No

Me: Well, what is something you do like?
Board: big tits

Chelsey: Hey, I don't have any!
Board: grow some

Chelsey: Should I get implants?
Board: Yes

Me: Ok, we're going to say goodbye. Come back if you're bored and want to visit
Board: Goodbye
Click to expand...

Patsy Stone · Sep 6, 2009

Lol cosmetic surgery advice from evil Ouija board spirits :lolface:

Rayku · Sep 6, 2009

This makes me lol hard.

Me: He's in Hell? What is he doing right now?
Board: being tortured

Me: By who?
Board: Satan

Me: What is Satan doing?
Board: Butt ****ing him

Me: Does he like it?
Board: No

Me: I thought he'd like it.
Board: ****ing with a Thorny ****

Me: Wow. Does Satan do that to everyone?
Board: Yes

Me: Has he done it to you?
Board: Yes

no-reality_allowed · Sep 6, 2009

I'm lol'ing so hard right now. These are great.

Board: You are ugly as hell. ha ha ha ha

Me: What makes you think this?
Board: I see you, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Me: I am not ugly.
Board: Rite

Me: What's your name?
Board: Ugly Sandy

Me: No, that's my name.
Board: So your admitting you're ugly...ha ha ha
Board: Bitch boo

Me: I see that you like to joke around, say another joke...
Board: Ni%&$r

Me: Don't call me that, that is not nice.
Board: Ok bitch
Board: Black bitch

Me: Me?
Board: Not you dumb ass
Board: Sha****a

Me: Sha****a, what kind of name is that? (one of the people present but not playing, at the time, her name is Shadira)
Board: Ha ha ha

Me: Why are you saying these things? I am going to go and pray and call God.
Board: I love God

Me: So why are you acting like this?
Board: Because you are bad to everyone

Me: Goodbye
Board: Goodbye

A little later:

Me: Is anyone there?
Board: Shut your shit
Board: F&*%*U bye

Me: F&*%* me bye?
Board: You're dumb

Me: How do you know this?
Board: I watch you...Don't cry ha ha ha ha ha ha
Board: Bitch...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Me: You are a real jokester, aren't you...say another since you're on a roll.
Board: Okay, why are you so dumb (it actually said why is you so dumb) ha ha ha ha

Me: I'm dumb? (in amazement with a smirk)
Board: Indeed
Board: You crazy girl.......

Me: Goodbye
Board: Goodbye
Click to expand...

Fayt-Harkwind · Sep 6, 2009

Why does this remind me of Omegle? Maybe they've connected their boards to the internet by accident.

DemyxPlaysMySitar · Sep 6, 2009

Oh god, i'm loling xD

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