poem (i don't want to think of a title)

Discussion in 'Archives' started by amythest, Feb 13, 2008.

  1. amythest Traverse Town Homebody

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2007
    Location:
    on earth
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    underneath the fallen moon
    or the inky black sky
    somewhere far in the distance
    where time doesn't pass by

    one alone and lost lies asleep
    she is helpless and in too deep

    her tears fall to the bloody ground
    as she tries to hold on to the light
    but it keeps slipping away from her
    and falling out of sight

    can anyone hear her desperate cries
    or are they just as alone as she
    trying to find some form of truth
    her screams remind me of me

    we all know tales must have an ending
    but this is my story and the plot is still bending

    i didn't cap anything or put punctuation... i already know how to do that but i need help on ideas the middle is a little choppy and it annoys me... any suggestions?
     
  2. Peace and War Bianca, you minx!

    Joined:
    May 25, 2007
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    1,282
    I like it, good flow

    but what part do you call the middle?