Ok I have wrote this story, I am have only written Axels at the moment but it's the same story but from all the Organization members point of view. Here's Axel, chapter one: --~~CHAPTER ONE~~-- “Axel!” Xemnas yelled. He waited a couple of minutes for him to come down the stairs. “Yes Superior?” he asked in horror. “What took you so long number 8?” Xemnas crossed his arms and awaited his reply. None. Axel looked at his feet afraid of what number 1 wanted. “We have a new member joining us today and it’s your turn to host him, you’re quite lucky, it just so happens to be Sora’s nobody- Roxas.” Axel grunted and followed Xemnas. “You be nice to him or I’ll have no choice but to rip you from existence.” He turned around and held his clenched fist at Axel but his voice stayed calm. Number 8 sighed, “Fine. Ok, I’ll do it.” Xemnas turned back around and walked into his office. “Stupid Superior with his scariness…” Axel muttered to himself as he waited for them to come out. “Hurry up! I’m getting bored!” he could hear talking inside, he rested his ear on the door and listened hard. “He can go a bit crazy at times, but he is a smiley type.” Was all Axel heard. A few minutes later they came out. Axel looked at the short boy with blonde spikey hair and ocean blue eye’s. “Pleased to meet you. Name’s Axel got it mem-” he was cut off by Xemnas “Yes I already told him. Now go show Roxas up to his room.” He demanded. Roxas was silent. “Come with me then.” Axel beckoned the key bearer and walked up to his new room. “Well, this is you’re room,” he sighed “next…. to mine.” He slapped his head in annoyance. “You take a look around, ask if you want anything.” He started walking towards his room. “Wait Axel!” he stopped and jerked his head around. “Can you sleep in here tonight?” Axel turned around fully and crossed his arms. “Err why?” Roxas looked up at the corner of the room. “I hate spiders.” He said. Axel sighed. “Fine! I’ll be back later.” And with that he closed the door and left Roxas in peace until dinner. 7:00pm. Demyx came bursting in to Roxas’ room. “Hey there! You’re new aren’t you?” he ran up to him and hugged him, lifting him off the ground. “Get off of me!” Roxas yelled back. “My name is Demyx and I control water, I am number nine of the organization,” “Yes, hello to you too, Dem-” Roxas couldn’t breathe “PUT ME DOWN!” he managed. “Sorry there, I get a bit carried away at times…” the door creaked. “Hello fellow idiots.” Axel was a t the door. “Has Demyx been rambling to you?” he walked in and crossed his arms. Roxas nodded slightly. “WHAT!? I do not ramble, I’m sorry but I do everything BUT ramble! When have I ever rambled?” Demyx yelled furiously as the other two slipped away. “Why is no one here? Come back here!” he yelled. Axel and Roxas made a break for it running down the corridor, they turned a corner and ran down the stairs but they were running too fast and Roxas banged into the wall. “Oww….” Roxas said as he slid to the floor. Axel stopped and turned around, he wasn’t sure weather to help him or not. “Err…” You be nice to him or I’ll have no choice but to rip you from existence. Xemnas’ words echoed through his head “Don’t run away from me like that! Come on guys it’s not funny!” Demyx called. The furry of dancing flames ran up to Roxas, picked him up in a fireman’s lift and ran, Demyx close behind. Half an hour past, and the two were surrounded by darkness, they couldn’t see a thing. “Perhaps….” Roxas whispered “No, we can’t, he may be….” “Guys!” Demyx yelled, he was furious. “Dinners almost ready! I forgive you! Now come on, or superior will be mad.” Demyx crossed his arms and waited. Finally a creek from the closet door could be heard, it was a large closet and it had the nobody symbol carved into the front. “Well, that was a laugh and a half.” Axel laughed helping Roxas out the closet. “Hiding in a closet for half an hour was quite interesting, but…there were spiders.” He shivered. “Roxas, they’re not going to kill you. Don’t be scared.” “Ahem.” Demyx had his arms crossed and tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. “Come on! Xemnas just called.” And without another word, Demyx was off. (please tell me what you think) The rest are here
I think you have a good idea going with the whole, same story-diffrent points of view, thing going on, but watch how you organize the story. It was a bit confusing at parts, but overall, I thought it was pretty good, and there is room for potenial. :D :D
