Okay, so...

Kingdom Glory · Sep 12, 2007

I'm writing a book, and I need to know if it's good...at ALL!?
Sooo, here's what I have so far.

Ian said:

Chapter 1:
Two to Tango

Disclaimer:
First, let me say to all of you who are reading this...about the characters, if they seem familiar in any way, let me, the author; tell youâ€¦They are fictitious. They are just made up people that sounded neat to make. Now, onto the topic

The future looked dark so far. At least, at this point it is, no one is certain about what has happened, too much happened for anyone to say. But buildings are being destroyed and the world has found a new low. After all terrorism has broken loose and hell has come to earth, so to speak, no one can show true emotion. It almost seems as though, people have forgotten all emotions and feelings. Love, Hate, Anger, just a few of many different things. But why is it that it takes two to tango? Yet, sometimes, it takes a third to play the music? Well, maybe, in the end, it ends with the last dance, and you need just the right sounds to make it right. This just goes to prove a theory about love. It takes more than two to tango; it takes a symphony to set it right.

Now, earth has been under attack for the past three years. A new organisation has gathered, and the founder of it, Rachelle Veronique, has passed on. She was the creator of many different creations. She and her husband had created different prototypes, but only four of them worked: RaVeN, HaVeN, HISH, and a different model, that never got the chance to be tested.
The names stand for Rachelle Veronique Number (RaVeN), Hacking Venture Number (HaVeN), and Higher Intelligence Spirit Host (HISH) and the last one never got a name.
This is the story of two people who find out, thereâ€™s more to them then people can see. Let the story of a man who finds himself in a weird place.
The man was walking down the road, shotgun over his right shoulder, being held by the manâ€™s right arm. The man holding it looked no more than 16 years of age. He had blue eyes that, at certain points, changed to green. He wore a black cloak, black gloves, black cargoes, white skates, and a black shirt with a silver cross necklace around his neck.
â€œTheyâ€™re goneâ€¦For nowâ€¦â€ The man said to a woman, about his age and size. She wore pretty much the same thing as him, minus the white shoes. She wore black skater shoes.
â€œYesâ€¦â€ He stared at her for a second before shaking his head. â€œBut why did they attack in the first place?â€ He asked, looking up at the destroyed buildings around him
â€œâ€¦â€ She could not answer his question. â€œI do not have the authority to tell you, trainee.â€
She said as she smiled at him. â€œNow, you, letâ€™s get you back to headquarters to tell of these attacks.â€
He walked beside her, and was looking around to see if they were being followed. â€œWhat if they come back?â€ He asked as he went closer to her.
â€œThen we fight, stupid.â€ She replied with a smirk as she turned to him.
â€œHmmâ€¦â€ He looked up at the sky, putting his hands in his pockets and thought.

After a few minutes of walking, they reached headquarters. They looked around and saw that there were few members outside the base. The two ran over to ask what was going on.
â€œWeâ€™re under attack! Itâ€™s been goinâ€™ on for a few hours! They just kept on cominâ€™!â€ One of the members yelled to them as a monster attacked him.
â€œShoot! What do we do?â€ The man asked his trainer.
â€œWe fight, stupid.â€ She said, turning back to him and smirking. She put her jet-black hair in a ponytail and grabbed her shotgun. â€œThis is soooo gonna get messy!â€ She said as she stood up from where she was and shot at the monsters, exploding them all and making the scene a huge gore-fest.
â€œCome now! Help me!â€ She yelled back to her temporary-partner. â€œGrab your gun and fight!â€
He stared blankly at her. â€œHow?â€ He asked, stupidly enough. â€œShould I grab myâ€”â€œ He stopped when he saw a monster jump towards her. â€œ!â€ He quickly shot it and jumped in front of her. â€œStay away from herâ€¦â€ He said under his breath before his eyes changed to green. He knew itâ€¦he could feel itâ€¦he could feel him arise within himâ€¦
His partner stared at her protector. She could feel his burning desire for these things to die. She could see the fire of his heart, burning away at his insides. He grabbed his shotgun and transformed it into a sweet-looking one. The monsters were coming closer. He narrowed his eyes and grabbed her shotgun as well. â€œI saidâ€¦Stayâ€¦awayâ€¦from HER!â€ He ran into the crowd of these things and started shooting like he was about to die. Though, the way he was going, he was in no danger at all.
After he got through them all, he was covered and drenched in blood of his attackers. He walked back slowly, and knelt in front of his partner. â€œYouâ€¦okay?â€ He asked, out of breath.
â€œY-yesâ€¦â€ She said nervously as she lay him down. â€œYou have proven to be a great memberâ€¦You surpass the F-Grade and D-Grades. You are at my level.â€ She said as she tended to his wounds.
â€œGrandâ€¦nowâ€¦please, help me.â€ He said, sarcastically, as his eyes closed. His partner helped him for a few minutes, and then noticed he was sleeping.
â€œHey, wake up!â€ She realised she didnâ€™t ever catch his name. She looked at him and smiled. â€œâ€¦Wake up. Whatâ€™s your name?â€
He woke up and stared at her. â€œWhat is it?â€ He asked, one eye open and one eye closed.
â€œI-I never got your name.â€ She said with a sheepish smile.
â€œHm. My name?â€ He looked up at the roof and smiled. â€œMy name is â€“â€ He got interrupted by a crash. They both looked over and saw a man standing there. It was their captain.
â€œRachelle Veronique, Number 12044, leader of the sky squadâ€¦RaVeN, in other wordsâ€¦You have failed to save your teamâ€¦for that, I must kill you.â€ He said with a slight smirk. â€œQuick and painlessâ€¦Or not.â€ He drew a katana that was almost as tall as he was. He flew up in front of the two and had already stabbed them before they could move or defend themselves. RaVeN, as she was at that point, couldnâ€™t move an inch. Her partner stared at their attacker and realised they couldnâ€™t win, unless he did something drastic again. He grabbed the blade of the captainâ€™s katana, and inched his way closer to him. The man stared at him and trembled in fear of this man.
â€œYouâ€¦shallâ€¦notâ€¦WIN!â€ He yelled as he let go of the blade with his now blood-covered hands. â€œNot nowâ€¦not ever!â€ He looked at him and smiled, his eyes changing colours again. â€œFireâ€¦arise!â€ the fire, once again, arose within him and he grabbed the blade once more and destroyed it within his grasp. The sword had shattered, making him and his partner, RaVeN, falling to the ground below. With a small thud, they landed on their butts. â€œNowâ€¦you shallâ€¦pay forâ€”â€ The captainâ€™s firm grasp interrupted his monologue. RaVeN Looked over in horror, as the words kept on echoing on in her head. â€œRachelle Veronique Numberâ€¦Rachelle Veronique Numberâ€¦â€ On and on, until she snapped, pupils dilated.
â€œNO!â€ She yelled at her captain. â€œI am NOT a Rachelle Veronique Number! I amrobot! I am a human!â€ She stared at him. He stared back at her and smiled smugly.
â€œFine, die a human death. See if I care atâ€”â€ The captain got interrupted this time, but by RaVeN. â€œYou ungrateful little brat!â€
â€œYou never did anything for me! You didnâ€™t create me!â€ She yelled at him. She then grabbed him and threw him into the wall and
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Long, yesh, but meh...I'm working on it D=

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Okay, so...

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