Nowhere else to turn

Best I could fit the title, I suppose.

Anyways, my problem is this; I've had a "crush" on this girl for around 3 years now, and we've been friends since Kindergarten. I think it started around 5th or 6th grade when I realized it. Now normally, I would just wait until a few years, but she lives in a different city then I do, and we're going to separate high schools. I'm going to the one in my city, and she's going to the one in her city. Now, knowing that, I really wanna take a chance with her and see what happens, but I have a problem. I have no idea how to ask her out, where to take her, or whatever, what to do, etc. Frankly, I have a bit of doubt it'll last, because my other friends are usually cruel with this kind of thing, so I don't know how that will work, whether to explain it them or what. But what I'm asking here, is how do I ask her out, and how do I keep a steady relationship?

If it helps, I play video games and talk to her over my PS3. Also, if there's anything I'm missing, feel free to ask.

 

This is alot like what I'm going through right now.

Alright, if you have her on Facebook then try talking to her there or you can get her into a private chat and ask her there which ever feels more comfortable and since she lives in a different city, it seems like she isn't far apart from you which is good. To ask her out, simply try to talk to her like you normally do, then when you feel that it's the right time, ask her if you could tell her something or you could say, "Hey there's something I need to tell you." and then from there you can reveal your feelings for her but don't reveal 100% just reveal maybe 10% or 25%, you don't wanna go and reveal too much and then she turns you down and you end up depressed and stuff. So once you do that, wait for her response and be prepared for the worse and hope for the best.

Now as to maintaining it, give her more attention than you would normally give anyone else, treat her like a queen but not so much like a queen, be nicer than before, remember your priorities and don't put her over your priorities, she has to also understand that as well. You have to understand her and she has to understand you, if you know each other's likes and dislikes, keep those in mind. If you don't know them then you can always play 20 questions with her, just ask her a question and she'll answer it's a great way to get to know someone, trust me I've done it and me and this girl who barely knew me played and we learned alot about each other we're like almost exactly the same. And don't worry about what you're friends think, they have to support you not discourage you, it's okay for them to look out for you but they need to support your decision.

 

Well, let's see....
You have a crush on this girl, but don't know how to ask her out or how to keep a steady realationship...

First, I would tell you to don't loss contact with her, this is fatal. If you don't talk with her so much she won't be very excited to go out with you, I think. Then, someday try to start a conversation with her, when you see that you two are having fun, start something like:
Wow, now I saw the trailer of [this movie] and it seems awesome! Have you already watched it?"" and hope she answers "No I haven't but it seems cool." So "What do you think? You, me, [her best friend] and [your best friend]? We could go to the cine sometime!" "Yeah, isn't a bad ideia. Let's see... when you and [your best friend] are free?".
Or something like "Do you want to go to [something like snack bar] to eat after [when you two end your business of the day]?, or ask her What do you like to eat after [yours business]? What about some ice cream? Well, of course! or if she can't "Sorry, I am busy now... Oh... that's bad, so promise that you will when you can, okay? Okay!. Don't forget to use Are you free? We could get that ice cream.
Something like that, but first go out with she and some friends and then for a unfortunate thing of destiny, start to go alone with her.
After some time, on one sunday's date, kiss her and happy ending.
Don't forget to don't be impatient, if you start a conversation that she doesn't seem so motived to continue, end that immediately and try another thing.

I wish you a great luck!

 

Or why doesn't he simply cut the crap and ask her directly? Good god, there shouldn't be instructions on how to.

 

Well ... you clearly have all the tact and subtlty of a breezeblock to the skull.

Letsee ... If you are looking for advice on dating, don't ask me because I've never been on one *forever alone*. I'd just give a few pointers:

1. Don't come on too strong, try and be ... well subtle isn't the right word, but don't be like "I've loved you from the first moment I ever saw you". I would say just doing it casually is the best, like what Excasr suggested, do it casually. A lot of the time, these thigns never are formally announced, they just sort of happen naturally, there's never really a "Will you go out with me" question, it just sort of develops. It's kind of like a dance I guess.

2. If you're frightened of rejection, don't do what LARiA says because ... if you're abrupt like that then she may be as well. If you're more subtle, she may just say "oh I'm doing something ..."

Sorry I couldn't be of more help, but I guess every little helps right?

 

A breezeblock to the skull, haven't heard of that one before.

 

I'm a little surprised I'm getting this help. I'm not really liked on here.

Your idea seems to make a lot of sense to me. I think I might do this.

@Makise Yes, every little help makes a bigger help even bigger.

 

Some information may be valuable. What do you think she sees you at this time? Do you have any way of knowing where you stand with her, who you are in her life? She may already have a love interest or crush of her own. You need to tell us how well you know her before we suggest anything. You may have rivals or she may have people that she would ask the same questions about in your place. It is important to know if she has these things and who they are about; what kind of thing attracts her.

Reconnaissance method...

 

Well like I said we've been friends for a long time, and as far as I know, we're still good friends. I know that she was born before her parents go married, her mom and dad live in separate houses. The only other person she may or may not have an interest in is one of my friends, and she only talks to him, and he thinks shes annoying. I think that's it.

 

That would be a dumbass move.

Listen, you don't want to do what Laria just suggested. If you just randomly come up to say "I love you", you'll put your crush in a tight spot. Why? She will feel pressure in deciding on wether she should date you or not.

Take it slow, bro.

Im not sure if keeping contact through PS3s or the Internets is enough. Try meeting up with her? Hang out?

Hmmm...have you ever hinted her that you like her? You can't just go up and ask if she wants to go out with ya.

It all depends on timing, bro. If your time is running out, I guess telling her your feelings would be best. But just as long as it's in a nice clever way.

 

I only see her in school, but we practically sit next to each other in every class. Also, I know to not do what LARiA said. Also, I don't think I ever hinted that I liked her.

 

Oh, I see. Carry on, then. She may be open to you if she does not have an active social life.

 

Well it's not like she doesn't have any friends. She still talks to others, not as much as my friend though.

 

What I was hinting at was how distant you are from her. How close are you compared to the other people she knows? That decides everything here, or for the most part it does.

 

I disagree with directly coming out and saying, "I love you", like Laria said, but I think you should sit her down and tell her how you feel.
If you wait too long, it might be too late.

Also, if you were to tell her, do you think she would feel the same?

 

I'm not too sure really.

Well her girl friends are a lot more closer to her than I am to her. As for boys, they're mostly people she talks to while we play MW2 on PSN.

 

So you are not very close? That makes this harder, then. Are you sure that you want to date her if you do not know each other that well?

 

Thanks man I'm glad you're gonna try it but remember don't expect too much just do your best and dont become discouraged :) and don't worry man I'm still you're friend!

 

No, I'm not saying we don't know each other well. I'm saying her girl friends go over to her house, etc. My parents don't really feel comfortable letting go to her house and whatnot. I still know her though.

 

Still not what I am getting at. Would she say that you know something about her life, if you were in trouble she would help you, things like that?