Not Feeling Good Enough

I think it's a sticky situation. Overall, I feel that I'm not good enough. I guess that includes everything that's going on in my life. I want to be successful, but who doesn't? I'm sure so many people feel that way in today's society.

I just feel that I do so much and it feels like it never matters. I don't want pity and I don't want praise. I just want to feel that what I'm doing is good enough. I recently got accepted into a college that I applied for. You think I would be happy, but instead I'm worrying about so much other situations. I also found out that I'm getting a car in April, but still I'm worried about other things.

I think I'm doing a lot at once. Not only do I report on the main page of this website, but I also run two other websites (Access Britney & Chaotic-Gaming). On top of that, I've been very involved with my own English fandub production for Birth by Sleep that has been making the front page.

I'm a senior in high school and I'm still looking for a job too. It seems that I'm doing a lot, but it's really not enough. Sadly, I feel I don't have a social life and I guess that's part of the reason why I'm always working on something. I'm so focused on voice acting, video editing and reporting because that's what I want in a career job. I've been doubting myself, mostly because of the comments from the fandub production. I mean there are so many fans that enjoy it, but then there are so many people that are tracking me down for everything I make to just say it sucks right to my face. I know, if I want to be in this field, I have to accept it, but then I say..."what if I'm really not doing a good job?"

I feel it's a slap in the face when I got comments like "the fandub shouldn't be posted on the front page". The reason why I post the videos on the front page is because I got the community involved. I casted members from KH fansites so they could be heard. It's not just fandubs about myself. It's a unique production that is ran for fans to be heard, including myself in one of the exciting releases of the KINGDOM HEARTS series. It's also a great way for fans to hear the title in English. It's not like I'm putting sloppy videos on the net for many to view.

Here's another problem with me not feeling good enough. My best friend, who I hang out with a lot is just acting weird. I feel he doesn't want to hang out with me. It's like I'm always asking to do things and go places and it's like he doesn't care. I mean he does what I ask for the most part, but he doesn't seem as happy as he was. I guess that's because we see each other so much. When I see him with other friends that he doesn't see much, he gives his all and I get jealous and upset. My friend tells me to not worry about it, because he says he cares for me and that I worry too much.

It's just hard because I feel that I'm not cared for. It's weird. I really don't know what I want anymore. I feel I'm in the middle of both good and bad situations. It's like "how do I handle it?"

 

You have too much on your mind, and the only reason why you're not feeling good enogh is because of your overflow of thoughts. You need to take a deep breath and relax. You say you got accepted into that college, awesome! For the moment don't worry about the crap that comes with it.

Its perfectly fine that you want to focus on video editing as a career, and as a result, you don't have a social life. But I want to go into Graphic Design when I'm older and I spend all my time on the school laptop, on PS. Thats why I don't have a social life. You still have one friend, but I wouldn't ask him whats wrong yet, you never know, he might get all paranoid.

So I'm gonna say your friends are right. Its just a phase that you're going through that you worry too much. You need to relax for a bit, calm down, ad take each situation as it comesm rather than taking them all at once.

 

Thanks for that. It means a lot.
I do agree with you. It appears I worry way too much.