You don't know what it's like to be hated, to be put down every second of your life, to be picked up and dusted off then thrown to the ground. You don't know what it's like to have friends to protect you, real friends who come over to your house and watch X-Men and Spiderman and curl up on the sofa next to you like a kid. Friends that make you feel like their kid sister and can tell when something's wrong but don't push it. Who meet you at bus stops and grab you when you cry to say "Hey, what's wrong?" and not "Shut up." You don't know how far a friendship can really stretch, even across the Atlantic. From here to Ohio. You honestly don't know how much I felt for you and how stupid I feel now. You don't know that I cry myself to sleep at night and wonder what would happen if you knew. You don't know why every December I cry my eyes out, look up and whisper "I miss you." You don't know what love is, do you? You don't know me. And you know what? You never will.
Moved to Original Work. Kay, so I thought this was short but full of emotion. I liked the "You" anaphora you had going there, as it reinforced this emotional blame you were pegging onto this person. Though, I also think you could add more to this. I'm guessing this person was a guy, and more likely an ex of yours. If you add more history behind the two of you (like what you did together, why the friendship fell apart, etc.) could make this better than it is now. Overall, good job. :]
Wow... this is some really deep stuff... I can feel how the narrator feels like right from the beginning and i really feel the tension of care and companionship in this. I know how that feels, i am great friends with others, and we are inseparable. (metaphorically speaking of course...) That pretty much grasped how pain can really bring you down. This is really good though, so if you do, please post more! I'd love to read it!
For a moment, I thought you were actually talking about real life. >_> Anyway, the poem is very a full of emotion, which makes it interesting. Also, I agree with Ploo on the "You" anaphora -- it gives it kind of a personal touch, if you know what I mean.
wow, this is amazing. i think that the first and second stanzas contrast with each other, slightly. if youre getting put down and hated 'every second of your life' how do you have such good friends. a friend like that cant possibly look down on you or hate you. and as such, when your with them, you arent hated or put down. im sorry, im letting logic get in the way of this masterpiece. if it is possible to add to it, i would love to read more. if not, its perfect. i agree with Plums. the 'You' makes it personal. if this is real life, i must say, whoever he is, youre too good for him.
You gave me a ring that you said you found. Nobody else wanted it, you said as you slipped it onto my finger. I smiled, and told you it was beautiful, thank you. You smiled back and sait it was nothing, just a random ring you found. Yeah, right. Random. I know that you don't see me as anything more than your best friend K, after all, if you did why would you set me up on a date with one of your best friends? You wouldn't, would you? I don't usually like boys, they've betrayed me too many times in the past, but K, you're different. You look me in the eyes when you speak to me, you don't think I'm weird when I switch topics because of my short attention span, you hold my hand through crowds so we don't get separated, you tell me honestly what you think but you're never mean. K, you've been there throughout this incredibly hard, bumpy ride. I may still break down but I know if I have to run into one of my best friends' arms, you'll be waiting there. For that, I love you in the same way I love the rest of my friends. I love the way you are with your girlfriend and how I can talk to her about stupid stuff, but back to the beginning as I got way off track there. This ring on my finger, you lied. You didn't just randomly find it and offer it to people, you bought it for me to make me feel better. Danke.
