Well first off; I hate to make these kind of threads. I rather be a role model and help someone else, but I can't because I'm stuck in a bad situation myself. My biggest regret is making a thread here and not helping anyone else out; so that will have to change soon. Well since I've been at KH-Vids for the past three years; I've made at least three different threads in here that could relate. I guess today the problem lies within myself. I think I can be a happy person and I can show that side (even on here at KH-Vids) but in reality my insides are shaking and screaming for help. The truth is that I"m very negative and depressed. I've been since my teen years and here I am 20 years old...nothing has changed. Lately I'm not sure I've been accepting myself. I'm a sensitive guy and I think I hate that, because it's made life difficult for myself. I analyzed others a lot and feel like I'm always judged. I worry I'm not liked or if I'm doing something wrong. It's happened on KH-Vids too. I just feel like I'm not accepted. Anything I've done or accomplished; I don't feel happy about it. I continue to push myself and I'm never happy. I feel society is too blame, but maybe it's all in my head. I'm always looking for friends, but I feel like I can't find anybody who is close enough with me to be good friends with. Currently I live with my sister and her three kids. My mother could care less about all of us and I've been focusing just on my career. Whether it's for the non-profit movie I was in this past year, multiple videos of me impersonating Ven or Roxas' voice; maintaining websites, running interviews and updating KHV; I continue to find myself lost. The only thing I care about is being somebody (which is why I post so much stuff on spam zone). I guess I just want to make people laugh and be something...but instead I feel I lack in everything. Maybe...just maybe I can fit in with everyone, even with KHV. My interaction with my team, my family, friends and members of this site has suddenly lacked. Roxas became my favorite character for a reason. It's like I can relate, but only by a little because the rest is fantasy. I've lost this battle.
A lot of people have low self-esteem issues; don't feel bad. The fact that you realized this is very important. Since you live with your sister, you need to sit down and have a talk with her. Tell her exactly how you feel and how you've been feeling; I'm sure she'll be more than happy to help. (By the sounds of it, you two have a healthy relationship.) You could also try talking to a counselor about this stuff. For reference, though, do you always feel like this or only sometimes? By sometimes, I mean when you're alone in a peaceful and quiet area and you have time to think.
I think you and I are of a kind. I want to make others happy, make them laugh, and help them with their problems. I don't have a whole lot of friends who share my interests and while I do have a tender heart I've had to over the years become hard and almost become a Nobody in a sense. Your problems hit home with me on every level. Here's what I say: 1. No one can be happy all the time and if we use it all on others we might not have any left for ourselves. 2. I've learned to not care if people judge me. I'm someone you have to get to know in order to understand and underneath is someone will stick by anyone through thick and thin. And for what it's worth: I accept you and If I could reach through the computer I'd give you a hug. 3. Take pride in what you've done be it working on a movie and just doing a good deed that day helps. 4. Take a break from what you do for a while and talk to your sister, let her know whats going on inside you. Sound like you two are close. 5. That's what I want to do, to be someone and help others that's why I'm going for a degree in the medical field so I can do what makes me happy. 6. Society plays a huge part in molding our minds and how we feel. But you've done alot of good here for everyone! Don't sell yourself short. I hope that helped you. Again, I feel the same way at times. I'll always be here to help you if you need it.
Maybe you should try seeking professional help. If you believe that this has gone long enough, you may want to put a stop to it, before it ruins your youth. Okay, well. Think about it this way. You are a healthy, successful young man. You shouldn't let anything bring you down. You already have all you need to succeed. The problem with insecurities is that they paralyze you. You need to get over that. One step at a time, go out of your comfort zone slowly, and face your irrational insecurities. You'll see that's all they are, irrational. And well, I don't recommend placing blame on anyone or anything. There's really nothing to accomplish doing that. It's broken, does it matter who broke it? No, it just needs to be fixed. How can I get back to being happy? Moreover, you'd waste time and eat yourself up placing blames, which is time you could spend trying to reach your goals. So what if people say or said things because you're sensitive? There's nothing wrong with having strong emotions. Usually, when used correctly, strong emotions can move masses, can give you the energy to continue and not give up. Do not let others make you feel ashamed of feeling. It's human. You may be feeling lonely. And to be honest, making friends is never that easy. Specially once you're in college and need to focus on becoming an adult. I know having friends around is fun, but Internet friends are also good, and if the bunch you get to know can drive or plan meetings, it may not be so lonely for you after all. A good idea is to talk of what they want to talk about, see what people like or how they act, and respond accordingly. You may find people with your same interests.
i get the impression that you often compare yourself to others. my advice is to stop doing that completely, you'll drive yourself crazy. i don't know how but you should find some way to banish those kinds of thoughts. society MIGHT be a LITTLE to blame. i have a theory that all these social network sites or media shows causes people to feel bad about themselves because they compare themselves to others more because their friends' more interesting lives are constantly being shoved in their faces. also, it's normal for people to think everyone is constantly judging them. everyone feels like there is a giant magnifying glass (or spotlight, whatever you want to call it) on them. but that's far from the truth. i learned that people are pretty self-absorbed and are too caught up in their own affairs to really give a sh** about judging other people. for example, most people feel like their being judged as a loser when eating lunch alone. however, the next time you're eating lunch with a group of people, you'll find that you're not even paying attention to these people eating alone. you find that you're not judging them because you're too busy enjoying the company of your group. the point is, there isn't a giant spotlight constantly shining on you and there isn't a panel of critics there to judge your every move. as for your feelings of being lost. that too is normal. i read about that recently in a news article, about a sort of mid-life crisis that 20 year olds go through. but different from a mid-life crisis in the fact that it's more of an identity crisis of people not knowing who they are and are afraid of who they are becoming. i had those feelings too, but they'll pass, i think it's just a phase. anyways, i hope that was somewhat helpful. good luck with everything.
Ah don't worry about not being funny enough XD i know i laugh when i'm talking to you, and i consider us good friends o.o you're awesome to talk to man! You're a freakin awesome voice actor, so be proud of that! Shouldn't doubt yourself man cause you're awesome. Anyway, hope you're feeling happier soon.
Mike, I think you are looking at this from the wrong perspective. Instead of looking at how others think about you, you should look at your own feeling about you first. It might sound stupid, but those are very closely connected. People around you can feel you are not happy, even if you try to hide it. It's a natural thing. Confident people look for confident people to hang out with. Changing the way you think about yourself is a hard thing to do, and you might find things about yourself that hurt or scare you. Sometimes you need to be harsh, towards others or yourself, to become a happier and more balanced person. Sometimes it's just time to say 'OK. It's enough. I need to focus on me now. Not on anybody else.' I know this is very hard. It hurts to think that. Like you are leaving everyone behind. But in reality, you're making your own life, and the lives of those around you, far better if you take that step. Your life is all in your hands. Don't forget that. You're old enough to make your own decisions and choose your own path. And society might give you stress, but in the end it's your life, and not the life of society. You are not forced to do what they do. Think about it, sometimes being selfish and taking a step in the other direection might be the right thing to do.
Mike, I think a lot of what people have said here is exactly what I've been thinking about telling you or, have already, told you. Listen to what others are telling you! :)
Don't put yourself down Mike, you are "someone", you're the good Mike we all know and like. You have feelings that only you feel, you have experiences that only you have passed. Don't hate yourself just because you are a "sensitive guy", you're you, and nobody else, you have your owns feelings and you value them. And this is great. You is liked and we all know that, me too sometimes think about nobody likes me and I'm always judge. And I think this is because I always have admired some people that I know, but always have feeling like there are in front of me, and I always see them from behind (maybe this is envy?). And that always put me down. Are you close to your sister? Or have a close friend? Try to tell them how you feel. The person you'll talk with will be really happy in help you. And that's is great for him/her and especially to yourself. I'm sorry I can't help you too much... But I hope that everything gets better. I really do.
First off; before I answer some replies...this is how I usually feel. I'm kind of stuck in this place and I'm like how you deal. And you just cope and that's what I do. I just cope with it everyday. It's like you can't go there in a state of happiness because you're scared it's going to be taken away. So it's better to feel nothing at all and to have hope then to feel the other way. And when you tell people that and I tell them the way I feel it's like they hear me, but they're really not listening. They are hearing what they want to hear and not what I'm really telling them. It's really bad. That was said by Britney. Her breakdown and recovering from it was what gave me hope. I figured for someone who went through so much...she is truly strong for taking herself out. So everybody can remember that when they poke fun at her for shaving her head; but in reality she's helped a lot of people understand certain things. It's almost a problem I have 24/7. Sometimes I may be really happy, but it doesn't always happen. Thanks Dr Wigglz. That means a lot and so does that conversation with you guys in the podcast for KHV. You are like my bros... Thanks. I think I was able to grasp something out of this. I hope it helps down the line. I know Maggy! You are 100% right. Thanks. That is interesting...I hope it's not a taste of a mid-crisis. That would be bad. Thanks. I'll also keep that in mind and sit down often with people such as my sister for advice.
