Night Drive

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Daydreamer, Feb 7, 2012.

  1. Daydreamer

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    This story, "Night Drive," was very loosely inspired by the movies "Drive," and "Shame." Part One was inspired by the song "Nightcall" by Kavinsky, and Part Two by the film score "Brandon" by Harry Escott. It still may be continued. It hasn't been placed in Original Works because it uses character names and dialogue from "Shame." I hope you enjoyed it.
     
  2. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    I noticed one flaw in your piece, one that may go beyond what I noticed. You changed tenses mid-sentence. This is where:

    I like it, especially the style. You have a good grasp on words.

    You need to include more story points. This is a tease at best. It will pull people in (including me) but does not qualify as a story on its own yet. I hope it is continued, or else it will be a disappointing start to something worth reading.
     
  3. Daydreamer

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    Thanks for your comment, the error will be corrected.

    I was in a writing mood and I wanted to write something that I would read. The story so far is indeed short, I made it up as I went along. What happens to the characters I still do not know, I will try to imagine them when I go to bed tonight. Maybe I'll recycle some scenes I didn't include in the final revision.
     
  4. Makaze Some kind of mercenary

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    Keep it up if you have material. It is not bad by any means.