Never thought I'd ask for help

ok here goes.... I am going to prom with this one girl we are going as friends k? now I really like her and i think she likes me too but i dont even know anymore I know even if we got together if something went wrong I'd be flattened because I'm extremely prone to heartbreak and also I usually get too attached so that's not good also the last girl i was with (3 years ago btw) said she broke up with me because i was too submissive (talk about soul crushing when a girl tells a guy they are too submissive for them) plus I'm not really great in relationships and maybe this will clear up but I have a small problem if i see a couple I usually either get explosive anger or extreme sadness I'm not even sure if this is asking for help or just a rant but any thoughts or advice on this?

 

Dude, just tell her.

If she breaks your heart (which I hope she won't),

she can go **** herself.



There are plenty more fish in the ocean.

Everything will work out great.

 

This is exactly the same thing that's happening to me. o: (Except the prom part)

I know how the jealousy feels. Two of my best friends are a couple, and sometimes when I see them, rage or pain just seem to take over. But you can't let them do that. The only barrier standing between you and the girl, it seems, is how you view yourself. I'm the same way: I'm always nervous that if I mess up once, then the entire dynamic of our friendship will just erode to nothing. But you need to take that chance. First of all, you'll feel much better about yourself for doing it, but it also makes you seem (and feel) confident, and people like confidence, bro.

Overall, when you do get angry or sad, just remember that you have a shot to make something similar. And if it doesn't work out, that's okay. There are many more girls out there in the world, and you just have to be patient and live to the fullest. And I should also probably take this advice too. >>

If you do need any further help, you can shoot me a PM or VM and I'll try my best to respond. I wish you nothing but the best!

 

aw, you should give it a chance! and you're going to prom with her so you'll probably have fond memories with her too :). stay positive, friend.

 

Go for it!If she says no shes not gonna stop being tyour friend.And if on the off chance she does then shes a b*tch and didn't deserve you.

 

There's no better time to tell her than when you're going to the prom (I mean, not necessarily when you're at the prom, but the fact that you're both going together. Gah. Coherence escapes me. :< ). Worst case scenario, she says she doesn't like you that way and wants to stay friends. As long as you keep an open mindset, you can stay friends. If you like her and you think she likes you, too, the only way to advance that into a relationship is to tell her.

 

More information required about the circumstances. Whose idea, etc.

What happened that makes you think she likes you? Why has your opinion on this wavered recently?

You're going to have to deal with this problem at some point, unless you want to remain celibate, so you may as well try to get used to it sooner rather than later. Better to do it now, while you're still in school and everyone's still learning, rather than leaving it until later.

This is not something you should be dwelling upon, for multiple reasons:

• You two were 14. You cannot take her judgement of your 14-year-old self to be relevant to you now. You've probably changed.
• She was 14. You cannot take her judgements as a 14-year-old to be relevant to what girls want now.
• She is not the girl you currently like, so you have no need to live up to her standards.
• It's fully possible she just wanted out of the relationship, and used any old excuse.
• All Girls Want Bad Boys

But if you do decide to try to be less submissive, then be wary of treading the fine line between assertiveness and ******baggery.

That's just normal jealousy. There's nothing overly unusual about it.

Go for the girl and see what happens. By that, I mean have a discussion with her about the possibility of a relationship. (Note: You're probably better off asking her after the prom, as if you do it beforehand, and she says no, still going to the prom with her will probably be painful.)

Try to keep in mind that it's a high school romance, and that the chance of it succeeding is extremely low, so investing too much emotion in it is silly. You're just looking for some fun. If it goes further than that, then so be it, but going into it with hopes and expectations of a life-long relationship will only get you disappointed.

If she's a friend, then any friendship should be able to survive whatever happens, provided both of you have the intention of making it survive.

 

1. we are going because a friend of mine wanted me to take her because she can't go on her own due to her being a lower grade then me

2. My feelings for her haven't wavered its just well i'll admit I am a serial pessimist and also she kinda has those general signs of umm how can i explain it.... gah nevermind

3. I try to deal with that problem it's just that I am emotionally a fluffball covered in 10 foot thick armor. meaning that if you aren't someone i let get close nothing affects me but once i remove the armor anything will drastically affect me.

4. actually she was older than me(3.5 years older) and we are still friends but i don't believe i have changed too much.

5. point taken.

6. there is one and only one problem with that i am way too shy of a person to ask I mean even in my thoughts i'm too ****ing pathetic to say anything to her in that area I mean yeah we're friends and that level of conversation is ok but after that I just can't do it

7. i know that but refer to number 3 for the reason about emotion

(note: kinda sucks being a guy especially when your held to some psuedo manly standard because all the guys around you are a "man's man" when you are nothing of the kind)

 

I meant your opinion of whether she liked you or not.

This isn't going to change without effort, and you're going to need to change it at some point. So either you get it over with now, when everyone's making errors, or you do it later, when you'll be behind.

If she was three years older than you, the it's only natural that she'd be more dominant than you. If you were the older one, then presumably you'd be more proactive.

Then that's that. Game over. Nothing more to say. If you're unable to even ask her, then this entire thread was a waste.

If you want anything to happen, then you need to step out of your comfort zone a little. It's not impossible to just say some words, and unless you do, no progress will be made. Getting a decent chance isn't difficult. You can just steer the conversation in that direction. For example, start discussing other people's romance (which is easy to do, considering there's a prom coming up), then ask whether she has anyone she likes. She'll probably ask you in return. (Note: Scripted conversations are bad. Don't try to follow them.)

The same happens for girls too. It's just society. If it makes you feel better, know that most people end up in a relationship or with a partner. The person placing the most value on the standard is you yourself.

 

I once didn't tell a close friend of mine I liked her, and I regret it to this day.

I know it's never easy to tell someone how you feel for them, especially if you're shy (like I am).

If you continuously avoid getting your heart broken, you'll end up with nothing. The heart was made to be broken, but you know the beauty of it? It will be fixed by someone else. I don't think there's ANYTHING wrong with a guy who's emotional. To me it is a proof that he's a caring person. I'm basically the same (and yes I am caring). I try not to show emotion around my less close friends, but with my closest friends, I know I can open up and basically say everything I'm thinking and feeling.

You should not care if someone thinks you're weak because you are a "fluffball." The only thing that matters is that you stay true to yourself, and if you like someone who doesn't want that, then in other words they don't want you for who you are, but who they thought you were and in the long run - It's not worth it. I did this once, I was with a girl for six months, pretending to be someone I wasn't. It was the worst six months of my life!

However, four months after that, I met another girl who loved me for me. We were together for a year and a half before distance made us break up. (USA - Norway)

You can choose either to let days pass by without knowing how she really feels, or you can choose to let her know how you feel.
I recommend the second option.

Regardless, I wish you Good luck

 

I know how you feel over all this,as I liked this guy for years :D
But I went and talked to him bout it(though yes there is more to the story)and now hes by boyfriend,and Im amazingly happy.
And its funny,because it was the beautifel people on kh-vids.net that encouraged me to do it!
So I advise you to go and talk to her bout it,and if she doesnt feel the same,your friendship willl get over it :D
Good luck!

 

life is to be lived so u want her than ask her or u will live with the what if all your life and u don't want that

 

First. When does your prom start? Second. How long have you known her. Ok now. What you need to do is either go out for some romantic dinner or (if you can cook) make it yourself. Making it yourself means that you tried hard and are willing try harder on other things. If you just go out for dinner then you better make it good. NOBODY THINKS MCDONALDS IS A ROMANTIC DINNER!!!! Now that that is out of the way. You should tell her that you want to start dating. Don't be too forceful. Don't tell her that you are going to date her. Nobody wants to be forced into anything. Don't be nervous. Try to be confident. If you can't win yourself over then you can't win her over. Now comes the big question. Do you listen to her? Do you listen to her talking or do you kind of zone out. Think back on everything and ask yourself a couple questions. Do you know when her birthday is? Do you know what kind of food she likes? Do you know what she likes to do? How much time do you plan on spending with her? You should ask yourself these questions before you make her dinner and everything. I have been engaged since August 1st. Some of you might be thinking: Why would he need to know this stuff? If you think she is the one then you will know. And if you think for a single second that girls will forget something so small as a first date or a certain birthday present then you are DEAD WRONG. I made a mistake like that and it cost me dearly. I hope this helps. Any more questions and I can answer.