Need some help

[Oh look another thread by me in here. ._. I'm not trying to be an attention whore or anything so please don't think that..]

Like some of you may know or may not know I have problems with my family, icky divorce after years fighting and affairs has left everyone at each other throats, leaving me and my siblings as this prize to be won between our parents. At the moment I’m being thrown between my parents and it’s killing me seriously. My Dad hadn’t contacted me properly since April 09 (When I say this, I mean arrange to meet up, phone chats, not just stopping me in the street etc) until last year when it became clear to him that him and his girlfriend wouldn’t be able to keep the house in the divorce since it’s too big for just two people so his been trying to get me to stay with him in order to keep the house and in order to prove to the court people that is a responsible father and he should be able to see the younger two as well, when he left us three years ago he sort of started a new life with his girlfriend (Who was my mother’s best friend) I’m trying to be strong, I’ve tried sorting this problem out myself even having a full blown fight with my dad when he did stop me in the street again, I asked why he was doing this texting my mum again, saying to the courts he can’t bloody afford to pay more than 10 pounds child support a week but yet he can afford to whisk his girlfriend and her son on fancy holidays basically every week afford to take them out, even can afford to buy five new cars for his successful taxi business etc. My Dad being dad didn’t say anything to me just simply walked away then later forcefully tried to get into my grandparents house demanding to know why they had put ideas in my head and then once again threatened to kill my step dad and of course I got the blame for this, I got told ‘you shouldn’t have been doing this!’ etc I was only trying to help, I was/still am getting pretty sick of the *****ing everyone does about each other, they complain to me and expect me to do something but when I do something which I intended to be helpful it fails. Sorry if anything there is repeated :|


My older brother is really going out of his way for me recently his being really overprotective over me lately. I’ve been told I’ve been the source or the reason for a two fights. Which I had no idea about, I was later told this boy(let’s just name him ‘A’) had been saying stuff about me; right in front of my brother and his friends which ended very badly for him I presume since I had three people come up to me at school the following Monday and say ‘Kelly, are you okay? A said some pretty mean stuff about you, your brother fighted with him it was well cool!’ etc that was the first fight. The second fight ‘A’ and the girls who used to be my friends/ now make me want to curl up and die were going around saying if they find me alone they’re going to kill me. –Oh, my hometown is ****ing lovely, eh?- I was alone up town at this point and when my brother heard this, he ran straight from my grandparents house in order to find me without giving them a reason why he had ran out, I was walking back to my grandparents house and I had countless people come to me and say ‘Your brothers looking for you, Kel.’ When I arrived at my grandparents house, he wasn’t there so I waited when he came back hours later, he said he thought ‘A’ had got me and that he and people who apparently say they care about me went to go find ‘A’ and fought with him. In a way, I wish I could protect my brother back he too is getting badgered by my Dad but he is too scared to say ‘No’ to him, sometimes he can be overwhelming but hey, big brothers are ment to protect you right? I don’t want to be the source of any fights; I don’t want rumors going around about my brother he really can’t deal with crap like that at the moment. So, what is a way to say to him ‘layoff’ without sounding mean? :|


Another problem; so called ‘friends’ yes, they’ve done it again, arranged stuff without me; bragged and blogged about it and just generally it feels like a big middle finger saying ‘we don’t need you’ that again hurts. I’m not very social at best and find it very, very hard to meet new people I’m way too shy, I would try to leave these ‘friends’ but to be honest they are all I have that is close enough to call a group of friends, I do have really friends but they at a different school or grades above and below me; so will appear ‘uncool ’ to hang around with them, which will just kill my ‘image’ at school thus making me the girl nobody should ever be nice too or show a hint of kindness. Is there a way to overcome shyness? I’m curious and tired of not being able to start a conversation with somebody I’ve barely said two words too. Bullies; I have a lot of problems with them usually one group I’ve mentioned in the above paragraph and in another thread I’ve tried to stand up to them but I just get laughed at, I’ve tried getting the school involved but nothing has happened. These bullies are maybe one of the main reasons why I feel the way I do that everything will be better if I just disappear. I admit; I tend to take things to heart too much but I can’t really deal with all this crap at the moment. I’m considering of telling my mother and asking if I can go see somebody professional who could help me but whenever I bring up the topic, I really can’t get the words out that or my mum is just like ‘Why? Why do you want to go see a physiatrist?’ So it’s a touchy feely topic to talk about considering what has happened before.


Also exam stress/ option boxes are stressing me out majorly. School is just like ‘IF you don’t choice the right boxes that will please every single university you’re going to fail in life and never get a good job!’ Ways/advice on how to cope please? ;;

/vent over.
Thank you for reading this, sorry for the long read and if I have wasted your time. Any advice or anything will be greatly appreciated thanks again<3

 

About the bullies.


Forget about them. Just try to ignore them, and if they talk to you, don't overreact. I've been bullied before. (making fun of my background etc) I've never been in a situation like this, well sort of, since my parents got divorced, but that was when I was young. Im not sure any of my words would mean anything to you. Just try to be respectful and stay cool. And about the blogging thing, is this Facebook? If so, stay out of that crap. Im sick of seeing these freaking statuses this girl makes about "Great, one more friend to not trust. ;-;" or "Stay out of anything that involves you, got it?"

Just stay out of the stupid drama people come up on Facebook. Jesus, they make themselves look like ****ing idiots.

 

I try my best to ignore it. Yeah it's on Facebook, I don't write such statues like that, I too find them very annoying mostly because she post's one like that at least four times a day but meh I'm not one to judge since I don't know her too well...I'll try to over react if they do anything else, I'll try to stay out the drama. Thank you for the advice.

Thank you for replying first of all. Like I said above; I’ll try my best but I’m somehow always thrown into a fight or rage attack with or without reasons I’m hoping it will die down a little by the time year ten comes around. As for my dad; If I do that, I know I’ll feel bad I’ll probably guilt myself into thinking it’s my fault, I know I’m lucky to have my brother better than having nothing at all, right? I’ll try not to get others emotions or actions stop my happiness or what I want out of life.
Thank you both for posting.

 

Family
From what you put, your dad should burden most the blame for this, since if I'm reading this right, he cheated on your mum with her best friend, and since he wants you to move in with him just so he can keep the house, it's clear he's just using you, so don't feel guilty about blocking him out of your life, because although this seems harsh, he deserves it.

School
Now all I can say about this is keep your head low and keep to your studies, if you react to the bullies they will keep coming for you over and over again, I'll admit, it'll take a while for them to stop, but if you try to keep a cool head they'll give up (I know keeping a cool head in school is next to impossible in school, and having family problems doesn't help)

All you can hope for is that this blows over soon and know that you have people here you can talk to if you need anymore help, we might not be the best help due to not being professionals, but some of us would have gone though some of the same things as you, so we could tell you how we got by, and see if that helps you.