A good friend of mine has recently been separated from someone they are in a relationship with. Understandably, they're having some trouble adjusting to life without this person and I'm at a bit of a loss with what to do -- I have only dealt with this sort of thing when I moved, and I still get to see my old friends regularly. I was wondering if anyone who has experienced this sort of thing has any suggestions for coping that I can relay back? The separation isn't permanent but it is for an extended period of time.
Well, this is going to sound very generic, but there's not much you can really do to cope with it, except being realistic. Tell him/her that if he/she really loves whoever it is they're with, it's worth it. As I mentioned, they have to be realistic. It's not easy, but it's not supposed to be easy. I had (yes, past tense) a long-distance relationship, Norway - Washington, which was 9 hours time difference, but we made it work because we loved each other. (The Break up was not because of distance) Tell your friend that if he/she wants it to work out, they have to realize that it's not going to be easy. There will more than likely be temptations from other people, but distance does make the relationship stronger, I can tell you as much. The, now long-distance ex, is one of my, if not my best friend. There's nothing you can do to cope except accept it. But I mean hey, there is Skype, phones, pictures, video-calls. As long as they still make time for eachother and still keep eachother in their life, the relationship will probably survive. Distance never killed love.
If you can, see what you can do to get past the separation. Depending on the circumstances, as Noroz said, there may be ways. doing that may help. You could also try to see how the other half is coping with it, and see what advice they have. Otherwise, your only option is to let her know that you're there. You can also do your best to keep her mind off her partner somehow. Various activities. Be creative.
Absence makes th eheart grow fonder. This may be a good indicater ti dusciver if the relationship is strong. If after time they still feel something for each other then it cna only be good. This is a test to see if the relationship can handle it. But to actual advice, distractions of life can be helpful. When someone I care aobut is on my mind I try to do something else to not think about them for a while. It's not gonna work 24/7 as at some point you'll think about them with the inability to be distracted such as falling asleep. I can only advise making the time you have with your friend as non-focused about their loved one as possible.
All they really need to do is make sure to keep in contact, I think it can be difficult to adjust without the person by your side but I think communication is key. It could be a phone conversation or a text message or maybe just MSN (if they have accounts/something similar). If they can keep in close contact then they shouldn't drift, as long as they do get to see each other again of course. To help keep her mind off of the separation she should do things daily that make her happy or at least something she'll really get stuck into like a game or a book as long as it doesn't remind her of him then she won't fantasise about him making her hurt. After a while she will get used to it but to start with she should try keeping herself busy, maybe with work or some activity.
