Name the Trailer

From a lyrical representation of what is going on in it. Credit to Tobuscus. Go on. Guess.

Stargate, UbiSoft, SPARKLE
A white matrix picks a date then faaaaaaaade.
and people say Rome wasn't built in a dayyyyy - AH
BLOOM TRANSITION
The birds get the hell out of there.
Because they know something's going down
Is he gonna die?
No, it's a medium shot.
Pan, zoom, and slow-mo
means he's the target.
Mysterious hooded man watches
(from a distance)
Take a second to look awesome
Time to go.
Walk in slow-motion
So you still look awesome.
Guard just saw you,
And he's gonna shot you.
But don't mind him
Just keep looking awesome.
That shadow will take care of him
WHITE! Guard says "Stop!"
Just kill him with your awesome
The other got it by an arrow so you're good.
PART THE RED SEA
Hopefully those guards have good armor
No, they don't. Maybe they do
They don't.
Now act like you didn't do it.
They're not buying it...
Target comes out of his shelter
He's distracted by a feather.
He's like, "SHOOT ME!"
He likes feathers.
He looks up when he remembers
Ooh, I LOVE birds!
Nod at the bird and PEOPLE DIE
Everywhere PEOPLE DIE
Target doesn't die,
HE'S FINE!
Target sends horsemen to die.
Kill the horse, the rider falls down.
Kill the rider the rider falls down.
Target's still fine.
Target nods and some other guards
that were hiding in pillars
COME OUT
and then take their formation
then Target pulls out his sword
then goes to smell his sword
...not sure why.
Mysterious hooded man joined by
other hooded people...
YOUR'E NEXT.
RUN-NING
RUUUUUUUNNING
SLOW MOTION JUMP ATTACK

 

I'm going with Assassin Creed Revalation

 

inb4thisisold

 

Assassin's Creed Brotherhood.

 

I know it's old.

Yes. You did it. You win. Not. You've only unlocked round two. No looking it up this time.

Wintry tree fades to
the sword of our hero.
Sharpen your blade on the
driveway, his is good.
Walk slowly in real time,
then run in slowmo.
POWERSLIDE!
Sharpen your feet
on the driveway.
Rogue plate goes inside.
Fight's over, you win.
Just kidding, there were
water ninjas in the river.
Slice a water ninja
turn them into water
later, ninja raindrops
fall on you.
Finally escaped the ninjas...
no you didn't.
They are also in the snow.
Look down, turn, baby, old man,
sheath your swooord!
Burn the flooooor.

Shouldn't he avoid water?

From the producer of The Lord of
baby backpacks
Take 'em to the fair
Someone's grandpa's stuck up there
Hot chick, fade, night,
look at him, reciprocate.
townfolk wonder
why does his hair look so great?

One Warrior
fondling his knapsack
(DRAMATIC GAZE!)
Sword fighting hot chick
you should really ask her out!

Caught between two worlds
Spend all day in the garden
Your girlfriend's getting jealous
The audience is trampled

Ninjas do the waveah!
Angry looking Asian.
Old man with a rifle
Paratrooper ninjas
landing on the rooftops

Darkness.

Townsfolk admire the
Raiden cosplay roof ninjas
Jump off at the same time.
Swing the staff.
This December
Shoulder mounted gatling gun.
Kissing girls makes
spinning stars
To protect a target
Winter ninjas
stab a droplet!
block, swing!

A hero will stand, then run, then stab the ground.
Shotguns aren't tough enough,
scream, horse, load, snipe!
Blow up the fair,
Fair lady with a knife,
FLOOR NINJAS!
Geoffrey Rush
looks down, then he falls down.

Kate Bostworth
looks up, then she jumps up.
Danny Huston
is ugly and he throws girls.
Jang Dong Gun
was probably picked on, now he's a badass!

Mid-air sword fight!
The Movie's Title
Here's your sheath
They wish you had one earlier
Lot's of guys are comin', but none of them
are tough as HIM!

 

and I thought threads on khv could not get stupider.

 

You should know that's why I'm here.

 

Kh3!!!!1111!!!!!11!!!1!!!!!1!!!


:/8D:

 

Pirates 5...?

 

Nope.

And no. Not at all.

 

Oh, I know this one! Warriors Way for sure!

 

Resident Evil?

 

You guys must be kidding me. Reading all that? Seriously guys?

 

it's not called Ninjas is it?

 

Got it. Next. This is an easy one.

Motorcycle, switch lanes, reckless.
Swerve right, jump, don't miss your exit!
Driving uphill, pan up quickly.
Panning down, you have arrived at Flynn's
Rear-view mirror, focus.
Enter, turn on flashlight.
SWITCHBOX!
Flip it, games all turn on.
Top-view walking, tilt up pan down.
Ignore the other arcade games.
Towards the only one that matters,
[GAME].
Blue light, look at a quarter.
Insert quarter, gets rejected.
Pick it up, don't waste your quarter.
Look at the arcade game, touch it.
[Game] rotating, cut.
Shhhhh.....
Wipe the dust off of a touchscreen.
Oh @*#$, turn around, something's rising.
Lens lights up, light grows to blinding, cut.
Megatron gateway floating downwards.
People look small, LIGHTNING, fade out.
Laser-tag, wait, that's a spaceship.
Looking down, things are rotating.
Light-cycle speeds past, going to a building.
Fade to a hot chick on a bench, look left.
Tiny hand-held stargate, rack-focus.
Elevating bad guys, wide shot bad guys.
Step on the light floor, throw, deflect it.
Blonde chick bounces, creepy guitar.
Light car peels out, frisbee jetpack zoom.
Walking, walking, walking, walking, cut.
JEFF BRIDGES!
Chunks of light come outta nowhere,
Spin randomly, then they spell...
[Movie Title] Eee, eee, eee.

 

I've seen this trailer numerous times!
Tron Legacy!
(Have yet to see the movie though)

 

Something tells me you've just now discovered Tobuscus.

 

I discovered him months ago and just recently thought to do this.

Indeed. Next. Should also be easy.

Ground shot helicopter girl walking.
Girl walking to rubble fade out.
Girl finds a random field of airplanes
Wide shot same airplanes cut.
Fade in, bald chick, two swords,
Light her face shes not bald DILATE (DILATE)
Find a way to drop James Cameron's
name in the trailer girl running,
throwing things at the camera
fiery death, keep walking.
cute puppies! kill 'em with 2 shot guns,
yes its another 3d movie get ready
airplanes comming DUCK!
jump off a cliff with style,
Doors open fall from vent
draw your swords spin em,
slice,slice,slice,
fire roll aim red eyes,
throw your glasses at the camera then dive
on september 10 it will rain on a girl
and a guy in a hammer in slow motion
in a new dimension
where guys look like that
and girls have shotguns of evil
and hammers break pillars
so jump on a window
then flip over the bad guy in slow motion
then strike a pose HUAH!
Running shooting 'sploding
running shooting shooting hit glass!
Wait is this the Matrix?

 

Resident Evil Apacolypse?

 

Resident Evil: Yes
Apocalypse: No