Hi, i made my first story, so it won´t be great, but i tried as much as i could. If anything is wrong, just say it. I am posting first two chapters, more will come AAAp (Against All Average people) Chapter I – Why is it always me? *Letter 1* I am a member of group named AAAp. We are specialist in our jobs. I don´t know my name, but i know one thing. I must find out what is going on. My new mission is to eliminate target.*End of letter* He stood in front of his base and walked to his car. ´´Why is it always me? Suicidal missions. My work. Assasinations. My work. Eliminating enemy base. My todays work. This sucks´´he said to himself while driving to his location. ´´Here it is. My todays object is´´he said and looked on paper in his pocket ´´Eliminate some general and everybody who might interfere´´he read and he put paper into his pocket. ´´Now, lets see what i got´´he said and went out of car to the back of car. He opened it and looked on weapons inside ´´Knife, grenade, rifle with no bullets, pistol with seven bullets. This is serious job´´he said and took knife and pistol and his mobile rang. He picked it up ´´Who is calling?´´he asked .´´Somebody you knew once´´the man who called said. ´´That isn´t helping´´he said. ´´Then try to remember, fast´´man said and canceled call. ´´That was weird´´he said and opened door to base. Chapter II – I still don´t know my name *Letter 2* I am angry. Everything i have are two usable weapons. Against me are good-trained guys with guns. I am not scared. Maybe a bit. Okay, i am scared. But i must do this *End of letter* After entering building, he saw some red blinking lights ´´This is serious. Cameras´´he said jokingly and turned on the switch. Lights turned on and they blinked ´´Sometimes it is better not turn lights on´´he said and looked to right and crawled there. He heard some people talking to a girl. He looked throught window. ´´Shut up´´ the taller man said. ´´We don´t want problems with boss´´ smaller guy said. ´´Don´t talk about him, Dereck´´taller guy said. ´´If you are saying it, Elric´´Dereck said. He heard girl crying, so he put his gun to window and fired two bullets °°Five bullets left°°he thought and heard those two fall. Girl stopped crying, so he opened door and she runned to him and hugged him ´´My hero´´she said and put her head on his shoulder. ´´It is okay, madam´´he said. ´´Don´t call me madam, my name is Alice. And what is yours?´´ she asked ´´My name is -´´ he said, but some other guy went downstairs to check his friends. He quickly jumped behind door with Alice by his hand and put his hand on her mouth, so she couldn´t speak. Guy walked to the room ´´What the-´´he said and took mobile ´´Sir, we have a- argh, no, please don´t come closer, NOOOO´´ guy shouted when he broke his neck. He took the guy's phone. ``Are you their boss?`` he asked. ´´Yes, and i am somebody from your past´´boss said and canceled call. °°Again that guy, what does he wants?°°he thought and turned to Alice. She was 16, and she was cute. ´´Do you want to go with me, or you want to wait somewhere?´´he asked. ´´I—don´t want to get hurt, so i will just wait here. Will you come back for me?´´Alice asked. ´´Yeah, sure´´he said and took guns from those three guys and closed door.
for a first fan fic, it has merit, and i like how you weave in and out of a point of view, only suggestion is that the dialogue is a bit confusing, but keep going
i know, i am not skilled enough, but later it will be better. Tommorow i will post another two chapters
Wow,you've got it man! I rly enjoyed it!!! Just a hint,you should make the chaps only a bit longer,but the fact is that it was awesome,and i wanna see the next chap soon!!!!! :)
yes, next will be longer, these were something like beggining i am posting two more chapters Chapter III – Right or Left? *Letter 3* That girl is nice. I almost like her. I don´t have thing for her. I just like her, okay? But back to mission. I am half-exhausted, hungry, thirsty and i feel awful. That wasn´t what i expected. Need to find food *End of letter* He opened door and saw 15 guys ´´Hey guys´´he said and then everybody turned to him. ´´What do you want?´´one of them asked. ´´I have some discussion with your boss´´he said and lights were still blinking. ´´No way, he is serious. Lets get him´´another guy said and held pistol in his hand. ´´If you think i will give up, you are wrong´´he said and took rifle from his back ´´See ya´´he said and shot guy with pistol ´´Man, you guys are joking? Unarmed?´´he asked when he noticed fighting stances they made ´´Yes, i think you are serious´´he said and put his gun on his back and slowly walked to them. They made a circle around him and one walked to him. Guy punched him into chest. He smiled and caughed guys hand and crushed it. ´´You idiot. It hurts´´guy said. ´´Lets make it quick, i don´t have time to play with you´´he said and broke guys neck. Others weren´t sure how to react. They didn´t moved to attack, even their breath stopped for a few seconds. ´´Anybody wants to beat me?´´he said and when he said this all guys jumped to him and tried to punch them, but he simply ducked and they punched their partners/friends. He smiled a bit and waited while they fought. He noticed two doors. One were on his left, second were on his right. °°Where to go?°°he thought and moved aside to evade some dead guy. After half hour only one remained, and he was too weak to do anything, so he killed him. The room was painted red (nothing more, becouse this is for 10+ years people. Maybe in sequel). He managed to open right door. There was some machines and one guy who looked on displayes. Guy wasn´t in good condition, but when he opened door, guy turned to him ´´Who are you?´´he asked. ´´Profesor Tilius´´Tilius said and stood up ´´Okay Prof, why are you here?´´he asked ´´That is good question, but if you want answer, you must say your name to me. I told you mine, tell me yours´´Tilius said. He mouthed (talking without voice) his name ´´Thats good enough. I am here as this machine technician´´Tilius explained. ´´Okay, and what is this machine?´´he asked. ´´Main power controller´´Tilius said when suddenly he was shot by one guy who was halfly alive. ´´He sure loves to talk´´guy said and died. He looked on machine and put down dust from there ´´Locked, but where is the password? I am not hacker´´he said and walked to Tilius and kneeled to him. He put Tilius on back and put down his jacket ´´This wasn´t what i expected´´he said when he saw many letters on Tiliuses shirt ´´Okay, i don´t have time for this´´he said and walked out of room, shuting door silently. He looked on opposite door and walked to them. He slowly opened them. Chapter IV – So the left was right...was it? *Letter 4* I am still hungry. Where is kitchen? But i must survive. Not only for me, but for Alice too. Man, it looks like i like her more. Nah, that is just imagination, becouse i am too hungry to think racionally *End of letter* He opened door and there he saw a computer and another door. ´´Like i said, i am not hacker´´he said and moved to door. His coat moved mouse and monitor started to shine. ´´Lets see what they have here´´he said to himself and looked into some directories. ´´Playing games?´´somebody asked and threw knife to monitor. ´´Damn´´he said and jumped away from monitor. In door stood guy with knives. ´´I asked you something´´guy said and threw knife to him. He grabbed knife and hrew it back to guy´s arm. ´´Not bad, i expected this from ex-soldier´´guy with knives said ´´But i am better´´he added and runned to him. ´´Never underestimate your oponent´´he said when he kicked guy into neck. Guy felt on ground with broken neck ´´It is boring. Killing, killing, killing. I am not interested´´he said when he took some knives. Then he walked to door and heard something like helicopter. He kick-opened door, and saw nothing, becouse there wasn ´t lights. °°And what the hell is this?°°he thought when he got shot into leg ´´Move a bit´´he heard. He jumped to nearby wall and looked for switch. He found something that was switch long ago, so he covered himelf behind large table. Suddenly all lights turned on and then off °°They want to get me by this cheap trick?°°he thought and put night-vision glasses on and then fired on guys on top of roof. °°This one is empty°°he thought and threw gun away, and took another one °°This is serious°°he thought and fired on rest of guys ´´Another empty guns´´ he said while he was checking the attackers. ´´Where are next door?´´he asked himself and in matter of seconds, some thing crushed wall ´´I hate robots´´he whispered and threw knife to robot. Knife felt on ground, splitted in half ´´What the hell is this thing?´´he whispered and runned before robot started to fire on him. He noticed that robot is reloading, so he threw knife to robots gun, and it colapsed. Robot looked on his hand and fired with another one. °°no more knives? This is bad°°he thought and jumped out and threw gun to robot. By some weird affect of previous damage, robot colapsed. He smiled and walked throught hole in wall
Chapter V – That wasn´t bad idea *Letter5* Well, that robot was piece of cake. And it seems to be the end of road. But you still don´t know my name. Okay, i am not cruel person. The name is...*End of Letter* °°Damn, the pen is broken, oh well, it seems like you won´t find who i am°°he thought When he jumped throught hole he saw a guy chained to wall ´´It is nice to see you, Cyril´´guy said. ´´Yeah, it sure was, Greg´´Cyril said and walked to him. ´´Don´t come, it is a trap´´Greg shouted and several bullets hit him throught chest ´´And yet, we are separated again´´Greg whispered and felt on ground dead. ´´That was cruel from me. I should kill you first and him after. But, oh well, life is cruel´´some guy said. ´´General Exo, or should i call you David´´Cyril said and grinned. ´´Now, now, sonny. I have a little disscussion with you. You betrayed whole State, organization, your comrades, family, me excluding, you weren´t that smart´´Exo said counting on fingers ´´And now, look at Greg, he was such good soldier, too bad, he wasn´t smart´´Exo said and grinned evily and took gun from his pocket. ´´Well, to be sure to kill you, i brought company´´Cyril said. ´´Yeah, yeah, i know these tricks. You think i turn around and you will shoot me into head. Cheap trick´´Exo said and Alice hit him into head from behind with metal pole ´´What? You thought i will stay there? And you will get all of fun?´´Alice said and smiled. Cyril looked on her ´´You are pretty cool´´he said °°Man, i am jealous on girl? Am i totally became idiot?°°he thought and looked on Exo. ´´That wasn´t bad idea to let Greg alive, wasn´t it? At least i found one of my group´´he said and punched Exo into head until he saw blood. ´´Well, you sure know how to punch´´Alice said. ´´Self.....destru....ction´´Exo said and died. ´´S***, he is joking. Alice, hold tight´´Cyril said and took Alice into his hands. She hugged him tight and they jumped out of window. ´´Man, Exo will get mad on me for not reporting´´one of guys said and saw Cyril and Alice ´´This is no action film. This time i will be the hero. You can´t dodge in mid-air´´he said and shot two bullets directly on Alice and Cyril. They felt on ground bleeding. Guy walked to them ´´You look nice´´he said to Alice ´´The names Cobalt. Not usual name, but you can easily remember that. Now, see ya´´he said and shot Cyril into head, chest and Alice into arms and legs ´´And now, where was i? Oh, burn´´Cobalt said and blew up whole Cyrils van. *Ending? Nah, it won´t end this way* After several years, Alice was healed and she wanted to take down Cobalt and his guys. She found several letters in Cyrils pocket, and saw blood on most of them. His body wasn´t enable to move without food, but she didn´t knew that. All she know was that he risked his life for mission. She was scared, but she was well prepared. Or wasn´t she...? (dramatic sound) *End of this ending*
