My Sister

Discussion in 'Help with Life' started by Aster Phoenix, Aug 4, 2010.

  1. Aster Phoenix Traverse Town Homebody

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2009
    Location:
    Comatose
    21
    143
    Hi
    This...well it not considerably about me but my sister.
    My sister is 17 i am 14
    Through out our entire childhood she has had it in her mind to make my life a living hell. Wether its beating the crap out of me from ages 4 to 10 and me not being able to fight back because she is a girl.
    Or her just telling me how much of a fuck i am and making me feel like dirt.
    But through out the later years 12-14 we started being nicer to each other
    sometimes yes still fighting much mostly being able to talk to each other without her causing a fight

    But in the last month or so something is just...not right

    No matter what i do i can't make her happy and at the moment she is uber pissed at me for absulotly nothing
    apparently i was an ass (which i don't even remember how i was)
    and then that led to a bigger argument to in which she won't speak to me
    Seeing her like this makes me feel like crap and since shes leaving for collage in 6 months i don't want to spend my time not being able to talk to her in any way
    its been like this for a week and a half and i don't know what to do to make her happy with me again
    i try to apologize but she just either leaves or yells at me to leave saying she doesn't want to hear it

    KH-Vids your my last hope
    how do i make my sister happy with me again
    ~Aster
     
  2. The Twin My, what a strange duet

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2007
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    The Devil's Carnival
    143
    First off don't feel too bad, I'm my brother's older sister in my family and he's 5 years my younger. We had the EXACT same relationship: so-so when he was younger, then we definitely had our fair share of violent fights (I think once I threw him into a closet door that rolled on a track and I knocked it clear off said track). Now, if anything it's like that never happened. What probably stemmed our fights was that we were siblings of opposite gender, so it was very hard to find any common ground. Thank goodness I turned out more tomboyish than I thought I would.

    Anyway, what's going on could be a number of things, and none of them are directly your fault. You say she's going to college in half a year, so I'm assuming she's in her senior year of high school right now. She's probably stressed about her last year, and stressed about college, and needs something to vent at or be angry with, and you're the proverbial sandbag. She could also be jealous of you because you'll be still at home with your parents while she's away (I know I was when I left home), again through no fault of your own.

    Best advice I can give is to try and let her know that she can talk to you about whatever's bugging her, and let her know you're there for her. Whether she likes it or not, you're siblings for life. But letting her know that she's got someone willing to lend an ear might help her relieve her stress, if any.

    Another thing that could be done, which you might not like, is to just let her be alone for a bit. Sometimes people don't want to be harassed about their problems, so if you're always asking her what's wrong or why she's mad at you, it'll only get worse. You might be better off keeping your distance from her for a bit, especially if she thinks that you're the reason she's angry.

    Like I said, I'm willing to bet the stress of the college search and the coming graduation has made her antsy and freaked, and she can't think of a better way to handle it. Have you brought this up to your parents at all?
     
  3. Maka Albarn It's called love

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Gender:
    Panda
    Location:
    Fairy Tail
    1,200
    Well... maybe your sister is unhappy with other things. Maybe it's not you at all, although it may seem like it. It sounds like your sister harbors a lot of anger within her and maybe she's struggling with herself, and doesn't know how to express it. I bet deep, deep down inside, she feels awful about her actions.

    I had an angry sister at one point. It seemed like I couldn't please her or do anything right. I would always end up doing something wrong, and get yelled at and criticized. I would feel really bad, but then I would discover that something else was on her mind that day that was bugging her and it wasn't me she was really mad at even though it seemed like.

    It's hard, but I found that the best way to deal with my problem was to say three simple words and really mean it: I love you. It goes a long, long ways. Trust me. Maybe she won't appreciate it right up front, but it'll melt her heart a little. And writing secret notes about what you like about her and putting it under her door, or places where she will find it will probably make a difference too.

    It sounds crazy, but it worked for me.
     
  4. Aster Phoenix Traverse Town Homebody

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2009
    Location:
    Comatose
    21
    143
    Well she already graduated high school
    and she already found a collage that will let her in and got a great scholarship for it. All i know is apparently she is jeoless of me for getting more attention from my parents
    To in which she would get the same if she was nice to them, which she is not.
    And i try to give an ear but she just pushes it away.
    And aprouch 2 is what I've been trying all week but if anything it seems to be making things worse



    Well if i say "I love you" she say I'm an inbreeder...actually with most of your advice she will say i am an inbreeder
    Shes just liek that
    she can't take affection from me.
    she pushes me away
     
  5. Maka Albarn It's called love

    Joined:
    May 7, 2008
    Gender:
    Panda
    Location:
    Fairy Tail
    1,200
    Hm... I figure that would happen...

    Just know it's not your fault that she's angry. Even though it really seems like that. Just don't think about it. She'll be outta the house, and making a new life. Who knows, maybe she'll change while she's out of the house and exploring a new world.