She yells at me over EVERYTHING. Right now, I'm struggling in Algebra 3, and she just *****es at me. She's like, "Go ahead and **** up your chances of getting valedictorian! If you don't bring up your grade in that class, no more volleyball or academic team." I hate when she threatens my extracurriculars just so I'll obey her. I've been trying so hard to ask my teacher for any extra credit projects or something, but my mom says I'm lying. And she forces me to do stupid **** I don't wanna do. One day after volleyball practice, she made me go to a stupid football game. Seriously, she knows I ****ing hate football thanks to my ex. Before she dropped me off at school that morning, she told me she'd take me home because she had to get ready for that night anyways. But when I reminded her after practice, she called me a "whiny, lying *****". I swear, I can't stand her. Sometimes I just wanna scream at her and tell her how I really feel. I've told her she has no clue how difficult being a high schooler is today, and she tells me to quit being a baby. And then she'll bring up about how she "didn't go sleep around with every guy in school like I do." Okay, I know I had sex when I was still dating with my ex, and I shouldn't have done it. But she just needs to shut her ****ing mouth about it and leave the past in the past. So...can anyone suggest anything to me?
This sounds like you have a really, really bad relationship with your mother. I really don't know what to suggest here other than counseling.(counseling can be a really big help though)
We have guidance counselors at my high school, but I've already been there three times this year. I don't wanna look like I belong in a crazy house just because I have a lot of problems in my life.
Have you tried going to counseling with her? Sounds like the old mother trying to perfect the life she never had thing
Sometimes you've just go to grit your teeth and ignore her insults. Also pulling you out of extra-curriculars can only hurt you in the long run; there have been studies done that say students perform better when they're involved in activities, colleges love extra-curriculars, and it'll help you keep healthy and active (at least volleyball will). As for struggling in math, try to find someone that does well to tutor you? A friend or something? And if you have any free-periods, see if your teacher can help you out or if you can sit in for the class twice in one day, just to re-emphasize what you learn. If it really does get to the point where you can't take it anymore, find a friend to vent to or go to the guidance office. They're not going to think you live in some crazy house, they know that teenagers often conflict with their parents and they're there to help you.
well hats me and my parents on a daily basis thankfully not lately though im trying hard this year since its my last in high school but my dad always calls me stupid, ******, dumbass, and other stuff whenever i mess up in something and it often gets worse so your not alone
Counseling. Both my parents really don't like me. They're divorced. Every now and then I'm kicked out of my house because I "can't be as good as my brother" and I have to start shit. I live with that parent for a bit. They slowly get more and more mad at me while the other parent acts all nice to make me come back to their house. I get kicked out and live with them for a while. Repeat. I'm in counseling now to get a better relationship with my parents. Hopefully your mom won't put on a fake attitude and act all nice and like everything is perfect like mine do. Your mom sounds a lot like mine. A few years back she used to scream at me a lot of times a day, and make me do all the chores while my brother did next to none. My mom is better now since she's on medication...but yeah, I'd suggest counseling.
Counseling can help straighten issues out, or expose issues which are the underlying problems that affect your relationship. For instance, if you go to counseling, it may help you understand why your mother hates you.
Let me give you a little advice, if she hated you, she wouldn't do any of this shit. If she hated you, she would care about your school and other after school activities. Your mom loves you and she wants to to succeed. This is called being pushed and you'll thank her later for it. Let me make it clear that she does not hate you. About the insults, just suck it up, there are much worsde things she could say. Plus, maybe whenever you make something of yourself one day, you can say to her, look, I dealt with all your shit, and now you can't say anything to me cause I did better than you. Looks like I'm not as much of a peice of crap as you thought I was. Also, I agree with the counseling thing, just remember that you still have to go home to her afterwards, so don't just let your mouth run wild.
Mothers, they always have their moments. It sounds like your in serious trouble. Counselling would probably be the best option here. I'm sure someone will be able to help you understand, and your mum might give you the reasons why she screams at you and insults you in such terrible ways. I'm not choosing sides here, but maybe your mum is suffering from stress or anger, and that is what causes her to behave the way she does. I say this from past experiences, half the times my mum screams at me it's not entirely my fault. She's either got work issues or she had a fight with someone. I speak to her in a nice way, because I never really want to agrivate her even more. After a few hours she simply calms down and tells me the reasons why. Other times she doesn't even have to say anything, you can sense it. With your homework and extra-cirricular activities, if your grades are standard or even better, tell your mum. Maybe all she needs is a little proof. Communicate with her and tell her that your okay in school or how your day went, and purposely emphasise your extra activities that you do. I know its hard, and you shouldn't have to put up with things that aren't you fault, but sometimes its just best to ignore the mean insults and put a smile on your face. I hope all goes well~
My mom hates my guts and is afraid of me because she can't do crap to me though she used to abuse me a lot growing up, and at 13, I simply had enough and she realized she could no longer hurt me, but to say stupid things because I would not just let her hit me anymore physically. I came to realize as I grew older what some of the issues were. Here's what I think with your position. She's trying to push you to do well. Maybe she's really pushing you too hard such as saying the 'valedictorian' thing. That's harsh and the reality is that unless you really care about being seen as #1, it isn't going to be as important to you as obviously it is to her. She may have anxiety and depression, it sounds like, and she wants you to succeed whereas she did not succeed so well in life. I can say in your circumstance, just do your best so you can get on to college and live your life. She's going to just say those hurtful things and if you keep letting them get to you and don't realize the problem is she's got issues, it will continue to plague you. We're all human and prone to mistakes and the only thing you can do here is suggest counseling of some sort as others said, and/or just learn to accept that your mom is a very pushy person who will say hurtful things to make you push yourself. Get the meaning behind what she is doing. It sucks and later on, she's going to not like what you have to say when you are an adult, about how that treatment did little for you. As for her taking you to a football game... she's probably trying to get you over attaching an event to an ex-boyfriend. You don't want to do that to yourself really. Just because he was a ******, it does not mean that fun things you can do should be taken away because they remind you of a person who wronged you. If we all do that, we give up on great songs, toys, going places etc... all because of someone else who we attach that event to. It's not worth it and I'd suggest trying to find joy in the event again by being who you are with and doing fun things. She's trying to help you there because life is really too short to get hung up over some ex so you limit yourself. In the end, if she's saying things to put you down like the 'having sex with every guy you meet' stuff, as I said, she doesn't want you to fail at life and feels if you just applied more commonsense over emotional reactions, you'd do better. High School is not worse for you than it was for her. Teenagers love to think parents have no clue but when you get out and become an adult, you look back yourself and realize part of the biggest problems with high school were the demands on you to be popular, to fit in, to socialize successfully, and learning at times took a second seat to these things. Being a teenager who is hormonal and all, High School seems worse than it really is to -everyone- nearly. I look back and still say High School sucked, and parents aren't as 'out of the loop' about it as you might imagine. Some of the things my dad said held quite true when I looked back and stopped saying 'parents don't get it!' Barely anyone can forget all the crap that goes on. There are some good things too in HS, but don't make like no one gets how hard it is 'today' because really, the same problems have existed for some time and other problems have replaced others that existed back when. I wish you luck and hope that you can sort things out with your mother but it may take time because she has her own issues of pushing you and disapproving of things you do. She's trying to save you a world of heart ache but because she has her own problems, she's going about it the wrong way. Try to remember that in the end, she -is- trying to help though she is failing miserably right now to you. My suggestion.. is to try to take control of your life the best you can, study, participate in things and prepare yourself for your life in the future, and build a defensive wall against the things she says that are stabbing. The ex-bf is a ****** so try to forget about him because relationships come and go and recalling the good times is cool, but letting him have any control over what you do because you are hung up.. it's not good for you. He's probably well over you as teenage relationships tend to be 'dramatic' but short-lived often, especially when sex gets involved in the equation. The other thing I suggest is like others have.. to try some counseling with her if possible or even just try to talk to her and do things with her like go to the store and such so maybe she will tone down and believe in you more. If it doesn't work, you may just have to grit your teeth and bear it as the rest of us with mothers that are not so helpful have had to do. It can make you stronger in the end to learn how to defend against the awful things she says. Think about it... if someone else says some of the things she does or even close to insults you that way, you'll have a great wall of strength to just brush them off. My mom made me turn into one of the most sarcastic people around that can take about any comments and shrug or tease someone back so they get the clue they are being asses and it's not working on me. xD Forgot about the math.. there are some books that you could buy at book stores which offer help to understanding math a bit easier. One series that helped me some for college to remember math from HS again, was Master Math by Debra Anne Ross. There are a series of books that can help you out with some new approaches to it. Maybe she will help buy those for you or something akin. They are at Borders or any major bookstore I believe.
