First of all, none of this is your fault. Love is a complicated thing, you can love someone for all of their faults and it doesn't matter. Love is love. However... I believe that you shouldn't try to go back to how you were before... but you should become something better than before. Use the experience you've had to better yourself. You can still be like the perfect child to your parents if you want to :P Just have some faith that you can do it. Next... about this other boy. If you both like each other, I think you should give it a chance. I mean, yeah, you don't want to get hurt again... but if you let that stop you every time... well... I'm sure you can understand what I'm saying. If he also needs time to get over his ex too, then just take things at your own pace. But seriously, I wouldn't just completely cut out the idea of him and you. Anyway, I hope this is of some help and I wish you the best of luck darling. I know how it feels to come out of a relationship in hurt... so you have my sympathies. If you wish to discuss more, to vent or whatever, feel free to let me know. Best wishes. x
Firstly let me say I am sorry you're having such a ****** time right now. Ok love, lets take this one thing at a time <3 With regards to the ex, I agree that getting back with him would be a bad idea, especially as you are now in a relatively dark place yourself, two darkened people is not a good combination for a relationship to have. However, I do think it is a good idea for the two of you to remain friends. From what you have said, he had it really hard, and I imagine the last thing he needs is to feel that he has lost someone else completely from his life. With regards to the rumours and stories you have heard since you have broke up, the only advice I can give is to suggest you don't listen to them, if someone comes to you to try and tell you a story or a rumour, tell them you don't wish to know. It isn't allowing you to move on completely, and by keep tearing at healing scars, they'll just stay as open wounds. You need to focus on yourself right now, and not on hidden shadows in a relationship that has already ended. I am also going to suggest that whilst you remain friends, take a step back, if talking to him so much so often is hurting you, then you need to take some breathing space. Obviously I am not suggesting you cut him out or anything like that, but cut down how long you talk to him and how often. I think the fact that he is having this effect on you shows you haven't completely got over the relationship as much as you thought. Which brings me to the next issue. I think instead of moving on with other guys, you need to take time to be by yourself. I know that when you're a teenager and in HS its the done thing to be in some form of relationship or to have some kind of thing going on, but from the sounds of it this relationship was intense, so I really do think you need to be by yourself for a while. Hang out with your friends etc. About the recent crush, I would forget about it. If he is also hung up on someone then you're likely to end up in a rebounder, which ok, that can sometimes help you get over someone, but only if you go into it fully seeing it for what it is, it wouldn't be an actual relationship, it would likely end up as a brief encounter, and in your current state, I don't think that is the best way for you. Maybe in the future when you're both in happier places you can consider it, but until you're both free completely, I'd suggest you stay as friends. Now about the drinking, this actually does worry me. It is a bad habit to develop at any age, but especially when you're so young, you're a pretty girl, it would suck if you ended up losing yourself admidst the alcohol. There are sites you can look at to help you with this, for example http://www.stopdrinkingadvice.org/10-great-tips-to-stop-drinking/ offers some good advice, as to most health orientated sites. I do think it is important that you recognise this issue as being a problem. It isn't that you're drinking in the way our generations often do to have a good time, you're drinking to forget and to cope, and that is not healthy. If you really want to stop this, then you've already done the hard part, really wanting to change is the bit people often struggle with, if you have that done, you have to just believe in yourself that you can do it. Lastly, I know that you don't want to, but I really do think that talking to your parents may actually help you. I know that you don't want to disappoint them, but its so easy sometimes to believe that we have everything under control and it will all be fine, when really, some parental guidance, or indeed some other adult you trust, maybe a school nurse or your local doctor, could do you a world of good, plus it is always nice to know you have the support of your parents, and I am quite sure that whilst they may be upset, and even concerned, they would be mostly wanting to help you and support you. I can't think of anything else to say, just be brave and be strong, I think you have some tough times ahead of you, but you're a tough chick, you've shown that multiple times before, and if you really want to get your life back on track, I know you can do it <3
Thank you so much. Really. I can't think of anything to say right now but thank you. You're really right with everything. I guess I kind of needed someone to break it down for me. Thank you so much Kay, you're a doll. I am going to look at that site and try to fix myself up. And as for guys, yeah I'll definately just put it on hold for a bit. Even if it is difficult to do in the high school world. Thank you really. I'm sure this will get better if I take your advice.
I've been trying to post all night but stealing my neighbor's wifi doesn't always work ; ; Anyways, I'm so sorry, I didn't know life was like this for you right now. I really don't have much better advice, but I agree with every thing CtR said to the t. I would like to add that I know it seems like a social life has to have some kind of partying (drinking, smoking, etc.), but that's not the case. You can be plenty social without doing any. There's a guy at school who's famous for all his parties and there's always plenty of alcohol and weed around, but he never does it. It's pretty weird since they're his parties, but he doesn't touch the stuff. I'm not saying do that exactly, there's other ways to have fun without doing this stuff. Social life =/= inebriated party. Anyway, you have me to talk to, Haley<3 You know that. You can text or call whenever. Also, don't be embarrassed about posting things on here. As you can see, people are willing to help. If you need a place to vent or ask advice, don't think that you shouldn't post here.
