my first story

Ok, it's kind of short but it's still something. Sorry if I offended anyone who was added in the story... I will edit it a little if you were in the story and don't like how you acted and all.. Here's the story.



One day there were a few kids from a site called kh-vids.net got together to fight on the day of the heart moon. They’re usernames are gintasthebest, sora is cute, Animegirl104, Haseo, Azure Flame, and Xephos. They all met up and prepared to fight the heartless. Gintasthebest and Haseo were enemies but they decided they would have to put their enemieship aside for the heart moon. The day finally came and the heartless were all around them. Animegirl104 , with the help of Sora and Riku, destroyed most of the heartless. Sora is cute used her stick to fight off the rest of the heartless and Riku’s perverted nobody, Kurix. Xephos was trying to keep heartless from attacking him with the help of his OC, Exel. Haseo and Gintasthebest were arguing with each other and too busy to notice the heartless coming at them. At that moment, gintasthebest’s nobody, Emmax and her heartless, Zemma appeared and got rid of the heartless and disappeared. Then, Haseo went back to arguing with gintasthebest who was ready to take out whatever she could and kill him. Surprisingly, she didn’t and just ran off to fight some heartless with her chainsaw. Haseo came out and helped out too. Most of the time he was too busy kissing Animegirl104 to help out. Xephos turned into a kitten so gintasthebest was petting him all the time. Azure Flame and sora is cute were pretty much left to defeat the rest of the heartless on their own. Eventually, all the heartless were gone and the heart moon was over. Xephos, Azure Flame, and Animegirl104 went back home. Haseo had been killed during the fight and gintasthebest was dancing around happily. She started singing “Haseo is dead, Haseo is dead. I’m so happy because haseo is dead.†And she continued singing that for a few more minutes. After that, sora is cute came over and helped burry Haseo and gintasthebest and skipped off, happy that she would never have to see Haseo again. Sora is cute and gintasthebest then went home. Everyone was happy the heart moon was over and they wouldn’t have to fight heartless anymore. Or would they…..

- The End


By: Emma (gintasthebest)

 

its a little dull. add a little more detail in to it and it should be fine.
other than that it was sweet to the point!

 

My favorite part was when Haseo was dead... I'll work on adding more detail when I get the chance.

 

Mine too!!!!!!

 

This story obviously reflects reality, it'd be better with some length to it and a little more in-depth detail.

 

Is this your way of venting? because to me it seems like your just bitter towards Haseo. I don't know what he's done to you, but it couldn't be that morally wrong, that you would want him dead. You didn't even add your friend Riku lover. She stood up for you (yeah in a very wrong way)but atleast she did it. If you really want haseo to stop, do you think by attacking, you're demostrating to be the better person? that is just inmature behaviour, and I think you should think a little more before posting a story of such nature . I'm pretty sure Haseo will just laugh, but that isn't to say he will. you and Haseo need to stop being so insulting towards each other. as such I will not critique this story because (this chapter) sounds like some excuse to show your hatred towards Haseo.

 

so in other words, let go and grow up!

but other than that you need some detail in it =3

 

It seems more interesting if someone dies. So, I chose Haseo because sora is cute and Azure Flame are my best friends. Xephos is my neko friend and Animegirl104 has Riku. So, Haseo was the only one left who I had no reason to let him live in my story....

 

hmm that sounds kinda intricate. i like it :)

 

Well, I guess. but I still hope your reason for doing so are the right ones. It just seems un-detailed. He just dies. and that's all. I didn't mean it to sound insulting, but that's just the way it seemed. At least to me.

 

dont worry i kinda felt like that too. but i still loved it. in stories i like it when someone dies trying it makes it feel more alive.

 

too bad it failed xD

 

ya kinda epically if ya asked me.

 

Look, De-repping me will not work. and you should know that since your only new and you can barely de-rep. On the other hand if I de-rep you.....should I try?...I won't de-rep you. I think you're old enough to know that your actions were inmature and that I was in no way offending you. But I will warn you, do not mess with me. I'm a very calm person, but I will not stand for your Inmaturity. It is sickening. I refuse to help you because you seem to be beyond help. I will not care if you cry by this response, because if anything, I was being kind enough to tell you this. But you refused, and its out of my hands.

 

You fail at living.... maybe you should just die now so everyone will be happy... Sorry if I'm being mean...I'm just in a really bad right noww!

 

May i ask who do you mean? =3

oh well, good luck with the next story =3

 

The only person who would de-rep me. The person my first comment was directed to. Ginta, you need to put your emotions on place, before passing raged jugdement upon everything. That is the reason why you have so many problems here.

 

she de-repped me too...

 

evryone can we stop fighting please? ginta you are no position to derep anyone. we're all trying to help you and your taking everything too seriously

 

If I make a chapter 2, most of you will die!