My poems thread. --RETITLED FROM MY FIRST POEM-- Okay guys so here is my poem list. These are the first poems I have EVER posted ANYWHERE :) I hope you guys like them.. and for those with a less creative mind read it then click the spoiler at bottom of each entry. Some have the meaning and some have other ways of getting it. Deception Spoiler He appears a normal man a single love a single child a single home... Then when no one is around... he transforms shows his ugly side becomes... the abnormal... He appears a normal man a single love a single child a single secret from the world He appears to be a normal man... Until the bus drops him off to visit his single love his single child his second home. How to understand the meaning of Deception: Spoiler If you don't understand what this story is about then simply pm me and after i get a few pm's then I will post here what its about instead of messaging everyone back the meaning of Deception. IF you message me title the name of the Message "What is the Meaning of "Deception"? My reason for having you guys ask me in PM is so that the poem isn't ruined if someone decides to get a little... well... suspicious bout the spoiler ;D NOTE: Please only click this spoiler if you read and understood the original!!!! DECEPTION REVISED: Spoiler He appears a normal man A single love A single child A single home... Then when no one is around... He transforms Shows his ugly side Becomes... the abnormal... He appears to be normal Appears to live a good life Appears to have a happy wife Appears to be... Complete Until the bus drops him off to visit His single love His single child His second home... Then his truth is shown His lies come revealed His shame is shown He wonders if she will hold him If she will love him If she will forgive him If she will... Complete him once again His One Love... His true girl His only life His significant other His newfound wife-to-be Selfless Spoiler The man on the corner The owner of a small shop The clerk working for a cheap boss The writer of a novel All selfless All giving All loving All wanting the same The novelist a perfect world The owner a world of love The clerk a time of giving The man a warm home for all A world of love A world of truth A world of need A world of pain The sad truth is No matter what one gives How one loves How one tells truths It is not a perfect world Regretless Spoiler Though times and thoughts change Though things don't always go as planned Though I have made mistakes Though I have forgotten... Nothing ever changes Nothing ever decides Nobody ever tries Its always war... The thoughts inside The feelings we have The ideas we share The times we've lost... Though I have forgotten Though I have lost Though I have descended Though I have yearned I have one thing One special thing That nobody else can have I have... My regretless past My Darling Love Spoiler There is none other That deserves my heart That I can show I love That knows how I feel There is no lover That can feel so right To hold me so tight To love me as I love her But oh so close I am How I feel your love How you hold me tight How you love me as I love you How wonderful you are Your beauty Your smile Your laugh You truly are My single brightest star My angel from up above My Darling Love Meaning of My Darling Love Spoiler Okay; this doesn't really have much of a "meaning" so much as a "Why I wrote this" I wrote this because I am currently talking my my bestie (Heaven) and found she likes me as much as I like her (or at least nearly x3) and we wanna give us a shot; see how it works; only one complication; her current boyfriend is treating her badly and threatens to kill himself if she leaves him. I don't want her hurting; but I don't wanna be selfish either. So I wrote this today to explain how I feel about her and how I truly wish she were in my arms; I hope the best for her in all honesty and I hope that she chooses me... cuz he's been a jerk lately and I love seeing her happy... and she has been happy around me; lately I'm the only person able to make her smile or laugh so yeah... to the best of luck with us <3 Here it lays Spoiler Here it lays The truth The lies The look in your eyes Here it is The fire The ice The look is so right There you go Wandering Drifting Roaming like a lost soul Here it lays The truth in Disguise My love for you... Here it lays Meaning of "Here it Lays" Spoiler Well if you didn't get this i'm surprised. Ofc its not my best poem but its a nice one :3 However; yes; it is about Heaven; and yes it is another love poem ofc; if you don't understand it try coming up with what each 4 lines mean then compile it together into one meaning. That should be enough to give ya a reasonable-ish explanation. Ignore the comment about Heaven above. I left it in because I wanna always remember this; but she's pushed me out of her life so I guess I don't matter. At least memories always matter. EDIT: Life has been WAY back on track. Heaven is greatly in love with me again and we're back together! (yay!!!!) and well... she may be having a child soon ^_^
Very nice, I love the idea of the poem. For your first poem anywhere, I think it's great 8D Just a few things like capitalizing the begining of the lines and then I think those dots can be removed, and it's golden. Could've been a little longer, but I like the shortness of it at the same time. It shows that points don't always have to come across with an insanely long poem. Also, I liked the use of repetition a lot, it made this poem very nice but at the same time it made the Stand out too much. I think you should've added another part in between the third and fourth ones without the normal repetition to balance it. Keep it up, I'd love to see more poetry from you o3o
Spoiler Thanks for your polite criticism; and don't worry; there sure is more to come :D and also; the reason the capitalization and stuff is so bad and the usage of dots is over-excessive is i wrote this in a stage of depression yesterday in like... 10 minutes after a test XD Also; did you understand what the poem was about? Don't post what its about just pm me tellin what you think its about XD
