is it any good? who other than I loves the bitter sweet bite of the cold sorrowful knife crawling across my luke warm bare skin. who other than i knows the sinking feeling of always being alone even when swarmed by others. who other than i sees in half color and half black and white,no shades. who other than i has people who claim to be his friends but only betray him in the end. who other than i who other than i?
It's okay, I guess. But.....poetry is something that breathes and lives on it's on, like all forms of art. This poem has imagery (sorry if I spelt that wrong) and rhythm. Your poem has both, which is good. < . < It's probably just me, but I think that a poem expresses what you feel, otherwise you can't right a decent poem. yeah, I think it's just me. Overall 3/5, because I'm not so sure if this is supposed to be some joke related to what people think 'emo' people do, or not.
That was pretty cool!:) I have a question though. Are you really emo and do you cut yourself? Or is this thing just completely made up?
... No... Try focusing on his emotions. Trying to fight the need to use the knife but eventuaqlly knowing it is the only way for him to let out his pain to almost feel an inkling of happiness.Explain how lonely he feels. Make him throw emotions then take them back and give worse feelings...
thanks im not fully emo im sort of emo but i used to be pure emo and i have the scars to prove it now im do the same things but i dont cut anymore
It's qute a good poem, I must say. Since I have no idea what makes a good poem from bad, (Although I can tell yours is very good) I can only say there's a few grammar errors here and there... Good job. <(^_^)>
It's very nice, although it might look a bit better if you put more space between them. Otherwise, I like the adjectives and choice of words...you haven't actually cut yourself before though, right?
