To recap, I have heart problems and have recently moved from my home town to LA so I can get a good, heart transplant. Lately, I haven't been able to talk to many of my friends, and in their silence, I have finally figured out who were my "real friends" and who were only friends with me because they felt sorry for me. I want to actually delete certain people on Facebook, but some stupid sense of belonging has kept me from doing that. My own family is screwed up.We're still waiting for my youngest brother to get here, but I don't want him to go through all of this. My dad keeps pushing my mom's buttons! He now has a tattoo of his girlfriend's [my parents are still married] name on his chest and has no intentions of getting it off of him. He acts like he is above the rules because I need him because that's where I get my medical expenses paid. I want nothing to do with his girlfriend though. She's a drug dealer, has kids who cannot pass Kindergarten, and plain out disrespects my mother. It seems like he completely forgot why we had to move in the first place. Monday night, I had to go to the Emergency Room. My chest has been hurting non-stop, and I have been sweating like crazy. It could be freezing temperatures, people are shivering, and I can be sweating like I just worked out (and all I have been doing is sitting down). For those of you who remember what happened to me this passed Thanksgiving, it's a lot like that. I wasn't admitted, but one of the doctors said that because my heart is hardening, my body is producing more adrenaline so it can work properly. That's suppose to explain the pain and the sweating, but if that is what is happening, then I'm going to be in pain until I get the transplant, which is I-don't-know how long. I have an appointment on Thursday, so I have to just take it from there. By the way, my dad didn't even check in on me during that night I was lying in pain at the ER. Lately, I've been feeling the urge to run away from home. I know that it's a dumb thing for me to consider. My parents fight non-stop and I'm sick of it! My mom's sometimes the one that starts all of it, but it's usually my dad not wanting to be with the family or criticizing us. I feel like I'm the cause for all of this mess, so I should just leave. The only good thing I can think of is Twilight_Nobody13. She's stuck by me through this from the very beginning. I know that she gets scared when I talk about my medical stuff, but she is still there for me at the end of the day. Lately though, I've been down about myself. I'm short, weigh 142 lbs., and have a slight gut. I know I don't care what people think about me, but I care about what she thinks about me. I'm not attractive, and I know that TN13 looks passed how someone looks, but I think that I should at least look better for her. Still, she is my light at the end of this tunnel and I am glad that I am with her. I guess you guys can say that I am overwhelmed with everything that is going on. Any and all advice would be very helpful. I hate keeping stuff in...
well, it's certainly good to let this stuff out. Keeping it all in does not do wonders for you. But sorry about your heart man, I had no idea. Wish I could do something for you. About your dad though, I think you should just give up any hope for him. Any dad that doesn't even bother seeing his own son while he's in the ER or even bothers to help you is just sad. He's one of those people you just wonder why they're even there huh? But running away won't help you. You've got to stick through this, otherwise things are going to get even rough for you. However, I do know that it is possible to adopt yourself into a new family, of sorts. I have a friend who's mother drank the entire time she was pregnant with him so he got brain damage and it 19 now but his mental age is quite a bit lower, so he actually left his mother and put himself up for adoption. Now he's with a better family and everything. Although, this would be like a last resort, I think you should keep with what you've got, think of your real friends who actually care for you, and just don't give up.
I did counseling earlier this year (it was extra credit for a class, but I knew that I needed some kind of counseling) and my councilor agreed that I needed to just give up on my dad. Still, he's my dad and something in me just can't give up. I'm right there at the edge, just ready to yell in his face. We went to a new church this weekend and we heard a message that I hoped would get to him. Seconds later, he kept acting the same way he always did. He's my dad, and I know I just need to let him go. Still, I really don't know how to do it calmly. I'm ready to just cuss him out and deal with whatever consequences I get dealt, even if it means no more heart...
Well I can't really relate to some of the other issues you are having, but I've been through something similar like this with my dad. It's not easy to cut someone out completely like that, especially if you have that feeling of obligation to them becausethey're your father. This is magnified by the fact that sometimes seeing them or not is beyond your control. For example, had it been my choice I would have no contact at all with my father. But when I see my grandparents he is usually there, and my sisters sometimes force me to see him. What has worked for me is to simply stop expecting different from him. You can keep holding on to the hope that he will be a proper human being, but that'll really just end up with you disappointed--a source of stress that I'm sure you don't need.
It seems to me like things are going to get worse before they get better. I know this must really suck but you need to endure the fight. Your dad may be the biggest prick in the world but if he's the one keeping you alive, it sucks but you are going to have to deal with it. Someday you won't need him anymore. But he will need you, and when that happens, you'll be able to remind him of these days. As for your appearance, don't worry about it. You're a good lookin' kid, and that really isn't something that should concern you among everything else.
Yeah, that is how I feel. It's really an obligation to care about him. He's payed for me to live for the past eighteen years, so it sometimes feels like I owe him something. He gets upset because we don't respect him and that we don't really love him. I can't respect him, after everything that he's done. If he really cared, like he claims he does, then why wouldn't he stop all of his crap until I get better? I know that it's something I need to endure, but what happened with the ER just really had me start thinking. I need to focus on getting better, at least for the time being. I'm having some bad chest pains right now, and it's probably due to over stress (gonna find out tomorrow). I just really don't know what to do on this one. Thanks. I really don't find appearances too important, but something in me is telling me that I need to look good. We talked, and she says I look nice, but my brain seems to never want me to be happy with myself.
Well, at least your dad is paying and all. If he didn't really care about you, would he even bother with the heart? Do you know if your father is going through some private drama in life or anything? Anyway, like Slaughter said.
My dad is paying for everything so he won't get arrested. My mom's put up with his crap because I need my medical taken care of and now I need my transplant. In his line of work, cheating on your spouse gets you jail time. Not to mention all the domestic violence we had to endure. The reason why he wants to leave my mom is because he's "unhappy" which is a load of crap. That's not a good reason to leave his family; if you're unhappy, don't quit, find a way to make it work. For the past year, he hasn't tried to make it work at all. He's...changed; and I just want to give up on him but I don't know how.
in his line or work? What job gets you put in jail for cheating on your wife? Although, I suppose a lot of people should if they're cheating anyways
He's in the military. Yes, there are rules that put people in jail for cheating on your significant other. The only reason why he's not in there is because of me.
....I have nothing to say. Apparently someone can't abide by the rules. Heck, can't you actually let people know what's going on? Or would that cause problems?
It's caused some problems. His last commander hated him and once she found out what was going on...it made it worse and helped us in a way. We were almost not able to get him reassigned to the base over here, but his commander hated him so much and wanted to help out my mom as best as possible, she was able to get us over here. My mom found out that she has my same condition two years ago and she needs to stick with him for two more years so she can be okay, medical wise. He's completely forgotten that she's gotten him out of going to jail a number of times and has dealt with multiple affairs. She's dealt with it all because of me.
Man, the more i hear the more I just want to ask my brother to bring over one of the planes he's working on over in Qatar and drop one on your dad
He lives with us, and he acts like nothing is wrong. And I get criticized for the smallest of things because I don't accept his "princess". She used to be our friend (we met her because her son played with my younger brother in t-ball) and she's been known to steal men away from married women. She's back in our home town right now, and she's probably cheating on him too.
Yeah, but I'm not allowed to say anything or else he gets upset at us. But we're not allowed to be upset because he two-timed our mom.
