Lying contest REMIX

Alright this is a remake of my brother's thread. Same rules apply and same prize.
Your lie cannot be something like I'm your vampire mom in the closet behind you eating cheese doodles and moon pies

(yes I watch Larry the Cable guy)-not a lie

Let the lying begin

 

I'm not the unreal infamous CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow who hasn't wandered the real seas beyond life and death.

 

I'm a Lady GaGa copycat in every way >: )​

 

I am the burger queen

 

i hate luxord so much that i fed my kh2 disk to my dog then killed him!

 

This thread rocks

 

i am riku lover!

 

I'm really an 80-year-old geezer who's only on this thread to pick up small, innocent children.

 

this thread is the only reason i live and if someone deleted it i would hang myself

 

I don't think farting is funny.

 

I love disney channel.

 

posts dont count here

 

I'm not confuzed as too why you are saying this.

 

I don't believe the staff will stop post from counting here.

 

i didnt bang your mother

and i didnt say that because i DIDNT WANT PEOPLE TO REALIZE THAT POST DONT COUNT HERE

 

I'm not laughing at your z in the word confused.

I would also kill myself if Miley Cyrus quit being Hannah Montana.

 

jesus loves you

 

I wasn't just about to say something stupid about Miley Cyrus.

 

this thread wont get deleted for the free posts

 

Only I can prevent forest fires. (It's lies, all of it, lies)