Life flutters by softly, leaving the weak in despair by tricking them into thinking that life is not there. I have always been able to see life as it smiles down on us, and now I can see it laughing at me as it drains itself from my body. “The world is a cruel, twisted place.” I whisper softly into the ear she has leant me, “The world is full of sick diseases that destroy our brains and our bodies. No matter the consequences, we dwell on this dying planet and let these sicknesses run through our veins till they burst. Dearest, do not let this sickness of mine overcome you, as I will not watch you pass as well.” Warmth patters onto my cheek in the form of raindrops which fall from her gleaming emerald eyes. I am happy that hers is the last face I’ll see, the last body I’ll embrace, the last lips mine kiss. Life screams with laughter and pulls tight the vintage lace that is my last breath. She begs me to stay, but life tells me to go. This is one demon to which I cannot say no. Love in its strongest form cannot cheat death, and so I say goodbye to all that is left. -xxx- just a little short I had the urge to post. comments and critisism would be wonderful, thanks <3
It is beautiful written, but you don't make it clear who the three people present are. There is the form of "life", the dying person and somebody else. Who? The dying person is whispering to themself? Into the ear Life has given them? So confused xD I liked the last sentence especially, the ending of the two clauses rhymed and this gave it a nice touch :3
It's supposed to be a dying man, his love, and then 'life'. And I have no idea how to spell 'lent', it might be 'leant'. It's supposed to be that he's telling his love what he thinks of life as it leaves him. ...I think >> I have no control over what I write xD that's just my interpretation. I try to write things that make people's imaginations whir and tumble ^^
