Love at First Sight

this is a poem i made a few days ago i already posted it on another website and people were pleased they just said to add commas and periods which i will get to but besides that what do you guys think about it

I saw you across the hallway
And thought I lost my mind
For love at first sight I never
Meant to find

Yet there you were long shaggy
Black hair and gorgeous golden eyes
Just the sight of you caused my stomach
To burst into butterflies

You smiled at me and I noticed
That you had adorable dimples
I quickly touched my face feeling
For any pimples

You continued to look in my direction
And began to walk towards me
I forgot how to breathe and my head hurt
As if I had fallen off a tree

Then you stood in front of me with that
Magnificent smile plastered on your face
Your hand rubbed against my cheek
And it felt smooth and silky like lace

Suddenly everything all around me stopped
Moving and I was no longer in school
I wanted to let you know that I loved you
Yet I stood motionless like a fool

I looked into your eyes and bit by bit you
Kept getting closer never losing my gaze
Your gorgeous golden stare had me
Paralyzed and fazed

Then your lips touched mine and we
Kissed as only a couple can
I no longer saw you as a boy like the rest
But as a man

A man I could love and cherish
Forever not having to worry
That one day you could leave me
Being able to always kiss those lips of cherry

So remembering this special day of ours
On which we met I ask a very important
Question will you be my valentine this
Day of love my love?

 

wow thats a good poem....i can't write a poem in fact i suck at writing them

 

thanks and if you really like writing then don't give up all writers at one point suck i mean i've looked at my past pieces of writing and they were all poop

 

hahaha poop, well i'm fairly decent but not best

 

yeah i don't consider myself good at all this poem i know its good but its really quite nothing to other writing i've seen especially on this site we have some fabulous writers....Ctr

 

catch the rain is a writer????

 

yeah! she's written some really exquisite poems it has been forever since i have been on the site and i'm not sure if she still does but yeah i love her writing its fabulous

 

this is all a rush i thought CTR is a boy and maybe i'll try and make some poems and see some of ctrs writing

 

no....>.> Ctr is a girl and she is also a magnificent writer i think you should try to learn a little bit more about the people on this site especially the well known important people but anyway glad you've decided to write some poems i can't wait to see them good luck!

 

i'll try most of the time it's depressing and short

 

well that is how it can start as you keep progressing i'm sure you will find a way to improve it and modify it with something that pleases you

 

Wow

Damn U Write Some Good Ass Poem Dat Kinda How I Felt About U When Im With U

 

Awwwww...-sniff, sniff- that's so kawaii!!!! WRITE MORE! You know, i feel the same when i think of a sence of my fantasy world! Wierd!