Anna woke up on the floor of the basment early that morining. "OH MY HEAD HURTS!" she cumplained. she walked up the stares and into the empty kichen. she wasn't suprised no1 was there. she was alone alot! ever since her mom died her dad started working more and more. after a breacfist of junck she found in the kichen she to the bus stop. she waited in the snowy weather antil the bus came and she got on. she sat alone in seat 20. just like she had no family she also had no real friends, no good ones anyway. she sat on the bus waching the mothers walking there children to school as she with anger. "I hate being alone!" she said to herself. the bus pulled to a stop infront of school and every1 got off. what do u think so far?
pretty good. just rememebr to add some more detail and story flow is very important! (even if its a paragraph) and remember to use the correct punctuation too. very important. otherwise, awesome job!
Anna steped into the halls the students buzing around like bees. she walked to her locker and got her books choking on the purfume of the girls around her. she had never been into that sort of thing. Her faverit coler is black and she hated makup! the bell rang as the halls empteayed she headed to her first class. she sat in the back nock lisening to the teacher but wrighting in her jurnal about all sorts of things such as her mother and what she wished would happen to the other teens. she was alone in the world that is how it had always been and as far as she was consernd it was how it would always be. the teacher sudenly stoped talking as the code red alarm went off. everyone scatterd to hide as the teacher blocked tghe door. another sicko got ahold of a gun and was in the school.
ummm it is cool but I have found a song...this 1 maches a lil better http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZqVYSHrjbE&mode=related&search=Namine Kingdom Hearts Raos Anna hid with a few other kids in the samll area betwean the book shelves and the wall. "oh great are life is in danger once agin! thease sicose hate school so much but then come back to mess with us!" Anna thout and then she felt somone grab her arm. It was Jenny. one of the most popular girls in school. she was a chear leader, she was smart, and she was beutiful! she had cristal blue eyes, long curly blond hair, rosy red lips, purfect teeth, and an hour glass figur. the purfict girl. the kinde that the boys were all over and had tunse of friends! the compleat opasit of Anna. "I'm scared!" Jenny confessed. "it will be ok! the cops will come and get him! you'll see!" anna incurijed. she was right withing 2 hours he was gone and they even closed school early! so Anna headed home.
Yup! that's very important too! anyway nice job on the other two. oh and on the first part i give it a 7.8348/10 second- 7.9229/10 third- 6.599/10
your welcome! and you're writing a series?! to be published!? wow!! i want to do that too but right now i'm working on a UO related story...anyway yeah, keep writing ! you're doing great!
yah...I know I stink at spelling but they liked am first book so much they said to type it out and they will handle the rest
wow, well you go girl! XD oh yeah and if you're writing a story then use spell check! lfor this too! prewrite it on word, spell check, copy , and paste! ^^
