Leaving : A Kingdom Hearts Story

One:Hearing and Telling

Dust gathered on the staircase as she sat quietly, resting her eyes but listening to every word being said. Never uttering a word, or daring to move; she listened to the muffled noises. Not brave enough to get any closer or back away. But just to sit still.
Another rise in pitch, then another.
Wondering what was going on, she finally opened her eyes and leaned over the railing.
She couldn't see, and the voices seemed to have disappeared and seperated.
As they always do.

She stood up, brushing her hair out of her eyes and continued down the stairs until she reached the main entrance, then opened the front door and walked out.

The breeze was chilling against her bare arms. Maybe a tank top wasn't the most appropriate thing to wear in the middle of october.
Then walking down the dirt path, she dragged her feet against the ground.
Tired and not in the best of moods, she continued on the road until she reached the water.

She went to her boat and released it from what was holding it to the dock.
It swayed in the water, making some of the chilly liquid bounce up from the edges and splash her skirt.
It was as cold as an icebox, but she prevealed.
She needed to meet someone on the island ahead, the shoreline was just a bit out of her reach.

Continuing to row to the island, she caught the eye of a boy sitting on it's shore.
He waved at her, but she was to busy sulking to look at him.
Something was wrong again and she needed to tell him about it.
It wasn't going to make her any happy telling him, or him any happy to listen to it. But things needed to be done.
And laziness just isn't going to cut it after all, they either do what they have to or not.
And she'd much rather that they do.
She was starting to get sick of the daily routine and agenda of this place.
Annoyed with the other people surrounding her, it wasn't a home to her anymore.Or much of anything, actually. More like a bed and shelter, and it just wasn't cutting it anymore. The pain wasn't worth it, and she needed someone to listen.

 

I like this. It has a mysterious edge to it, and I like that essence that it holds.

moar please <3

 

It's good. :'D Since I'm not good with criticizing stuff, or whatever you call it, that's all I know what to really say. ::L:

I like it, though. c:​

 

Well I like the imagry used in this however, I'm not a fan of it so far because it seems like you're giving the reader no info on the plot of the story D: Keep it going, but give us a bit more info cause Im kinda lost atm.

 

Yeah,I was going for that xD

I was gonna give more of the plot in this chapter,I was aiming for different and mysterious a bit.I was doing that on purpose,actually.


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Two: Waiting

"Kairi!" the boy ran up to her as she walked out of the chilly water, she flinched.
"Sora," she continued walking to the middle of the sand, then stop and turned to face him. She was wearing a depressing expression, trying to force a smile at him. "I've been meaning to discuss our plans for the raft, with you."
He was running his fingers through his spiky brown hair, hardly paying attention to her. "Maybe we should discuss that stuff with Riku?"
"Well, obviously. I wasn't going to exclude him."
She knew where this was going, and it may just be wiser to tell Riku and Sora at the same time to avoid some conflicting ideas. Sora was lazy about most things, so it might be better just to wait for Riku to show up. He might wanna hear that she wanted to leave the island, for many of her own reasons; some harder to explain than others. "Well where is he?" she questioned him, tempted to have him go looking. "I think he's still at home." he sat down on the sand, pretty much telling her that he's not rowing back to the other shore to check if Riku's home or not.
"Well, I suppose we wait for him." she told him shivering from the cold weather.
She gazed at the other shoreline.

Both shores we so close to each other, you could basically see what people were doing on the other beach. Although hardly anyone comes to Destiny Islands anymore, only a few of their so called friends.
The kids who come to the island, they don't really talk to them anymore. Sora is really the only one who talks to them lately, and it usually results in a fight.
Selphie, the girl, always has a jump rope that she flings around at people. Wakka one of the boys, has a ball of some sort. He probably told her what it was, but she wasn't paying attention. It's part of a sport he used to play at his old home.
And the other boy, Tidus, always carries around a rod. Or at least that's what it looks like. Hardly anyone goes near him, with him swinging it around all the time.

They both sat on the shore and waited for Riku to appear in the distance.


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I know this one was kinda short,but I added more characters and a bit of plot and such.

 

I like ::L:
It's mysterious, makes me wanna know more.
So more please! :lolface: XD

 

=[
I am yearning to know why she is so depressed.
Therefore, more shall be read by the one, the only, ME. :=D:

I did like this, you didn't break up the conversation by explaining stuff inbetween comments.
Likey <3

 

Ilikes this also. Easy to read, not very complicated, and in nice paragraphs. Very very good.I'mma watch you.

 

Rawr, real CnC time.

All in all though, your writing is pretty good. There's just a few odd things here and there that need to be changed. On to chapter two :'D ~

Finally, Kairi's name is revealed :v yeah, the chapter is really too short for it to go anywhere; atleast you introduced the raft though (I'm guessing it'll be part of the plot).

Nice work so far, please continue.

 

Wow, now ppl like writing stories from scratch (same characters, different story) more than they like to continue the video game story! Well it's a bit good, but you need to write a longer for every chapter!