Pro-Louge Kairi ran as fast as she could, running towards Sora's house. "Kairi, YOUR HERE!" cried Goofy with excitment as Kairi arrived. Everyone was gathered outside except for Sora. Kairi didn't bother saying hello to everyone she just rushed inside, where she found Sora lying in his bed and Sora's mom kneeling down next to him. "I'm so sorry, Kairi..." said Sora's mom. Kairi looked down and started to cry Sora had fallen to a mysterious sickness and everyone had to mourne the loss of a hero. However, this event was only a foreshadowing of the horrible events to come. Six months later, three armored knights made an attack against Twilight Town. Countering to their attack was Riku who made that attack... his last... Donald was next to die. Eventually, Mickey meet his fate too. These three even killed Goofy... This would start a new age... an age... of darkness...
It was short but very well done. Reading this made me feel all bubbly inside, hearing the news of Sora and other deaths. Keep up the great work, I'm looking forward to this new story:)
yeah, the next posts will be longer... I just had to get that out of the way first... Chapter 1: Three is a Cursed Number (12 years later) "RUN, IT'S THEM!!!!" shouted the civilians of Radient Garden as the three armored knights attacked innocents and blew up buildings Knight 1:"why don't we just destroy this world already..." Knight 2:"Aqua... how many times do we have to tell you... there's no fun if there isn't anything to play with..." Aqua: "yeah, but playing with these pathetic toys is getting boring..." Knight 3: "she's right... we need something new..." Aqua: "see, Ven knows what I mean..." Knight 2: "fine... but what else is there to play with?" music Kairi: "maybe I can preoccupy you!" the three looked at her Kairi: "but, I might be the last toy you ever play with!" Knight 2: "hey, look... it's that girl we taught a lesson to at Holloween Town... I see you came back for more..." Ven: "I thought you wouldn't be able to walk after Aqua bent your leg backwards with her keyblade..." Aqua: "maybe I should just break off both her legs altogether... what do you think Terra?" Terra "yeah, this will be fun... go ahead..." Aqua: "with pleasure!" Aqua darted at Kairi and transformed her keyblade into an axe went to slice Kairi's feet off but Kairi jumped up and threw her rose colored keyblade into Aqua's face Aqua: "WHY YOU LITTLE!" Aqua then transformed her keyblade into a propeler and flew at Kairi. Kairi picked up her keyblade and hit Aqua's keyblade, knocking Aqua down and hitting Aqua's keyblade out of her reach Kairi was about to attack Aqua when Ven steped in and whacked Kairi in the back of the head. Kairi fell to the ground unconnious Aqua: "NOW YOUR GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!" Aqua got ready to stab Kairi in the heart when Terra stoped her Terra: "this can be our new toy... and we don't want it to run out of batteries just yet... let's let her live for now... we will finish her off when we don't like her anymore and when we want a new toy..." Aqua: "fine..." they all went into one portal and left Radient Garden
O.o-so I'm confused....is sora dead or what???? Riku's dead, goffy's dead, donalds dead, and the king is dead! Am i right? Oh well , i think he is!
I like the beginning, I don't really like the dialog part. I have a nasty habbit of just skimming over those. You should use one write style (paragraph or dialog). I like the paragraph form. Other than that, good job =)
you could use more descrption to make it sound better. right now it has very little feeling and seems a little rushed
it get's better... Chapter 2: Kairi's Son? Kairi woke up Kairi: "wha-? why did they spare me... ?" Kairi walked to her gummi ship Kairi: "I'd better get home to Raku" Kairi got on the gummi ship and took off towards Deep Jungle *Deep Jungle* Raku: "WHY DID SHE LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!! SHE KNOWS SHE'S NO MATCH FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tarzan: "she has to. she must defend the universe from them..." Raku: "THAT'S NO EXCUSE TO GET HERSELF KILLED!!!!!" Kairi's gummi ship came down from the sky and started to land Tarzan: "she is safe..." Raku: "NOW SHE'S GONNA GET IT!!!!!" Raku ran towards the landing gummi ship Kairi jumped out of the gummi ship landing perfectly on her feet Raku stoped in front of her Raku: "WHY DID YOU LEAVE!!!!!!!!! YOU KNOW THEY CAN AND WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kairi: "son, calm down... they beat me but didn't kill me... but your right they can kill me..." Raku calmed himself Raku: "mom, you have to train me to beat them.I have to get stronge enough to combat them..." Kairi: "very well, I will train you..." Raku and Kairi trained hard, day and night until Raku was satisfied with his accomplishments. But Raku was never satisfied... he wanted to be sure he was stronger than the knights and 4 days later he would be able to put his training to the test... *4 days later* Raku: "I need to get stronger..." kairi: "getting stronger is all you talk about. can't you focus about something else?" suddenly an explosion went off Tarzan: "what was that?" Kairi rushed to the scene Raku: "MOM, WAIT!!!!!!!" music *at the scene of the explosion* Terra: "hey! try shooting the birds down! whoever shoots the most birds wins a prize!!" Aqua: "your on..." Ven: "IM GONNA SMOKE YOU BOTH!!!!!" they started shooting all the fleeing birds with lightning bolts Terra: "TIME FOR THE GRAND FINALE!!!!!!!" all three of them put there keyblades together and fired one massive blast into the sky Kairi jumped out of a tree and whacked the blast back at them the three were so stunned that they didn't have time to react. the blast hit them and created a huge crator in the ground they all got up slowly... and they walked out of the crator even slower... Kairi attacked Ven knocking him back into the crator. Terra made his keyblade into a whip and roped up Kairi Terra: "hello cuttie..." Terra then pulled Kairi up to him Kairi struggled to get free Raku came from behind Terra and whacked him in the back of the head, knocking him back into the crator. Kairi was released from Terra's hold but was quickly attacked by Ven, fortunatly Kairi blocked him Aqua lunged at Raku and started slicing at him. Raku blocked the attacks until Aqua kicked him in the stomach and whacked him in the face with her keyblade. Kairi succesfully blocked all of Ven's attacks and knocked his keyblade out of his hand Ven: "uh oh..." Kairi fired a light beam from her keyblade hurting him severly Aqua jumped into the air and concentrated a blast striate for Raku Kairi saw this ran towards Raku Aqua fired the blast Kairi jumped in the way and got severly hurt Terra: "I see you brought a friend to help you this time..." Aqua: "she almost killed Ven, we should end her now..." Terra smiled Terra: "yeah... let's do it..." to be continued...
Chapter 3: Raku's Strength music Aqua held up her keyblade, getting ready to stab Kairi Raku: "NOOOOOOOOOO" Terra: "stay back kid..." Terra sent a blast from his keyblade that pushed Raku back into the jungle Aqua was still holding her keyblade up in the air, in the stabing motion Ven: "WELL?! what are you waiting for?!" Aqua: "I'm just concentrating to hit her right in the heart..." Tarzan came out from a tree and whacked her with his spear, knocking her helmut off Ven: "GET OUT OF THE WAY, LOSER!!!!!!" Ven stabed Tarzan in the heart. Tarzan: "*cough* ugh..." Ven flung Tarzan into the air then fired a blast that blew him to obilvion Ven: "I guess all that target practice was good after all..." music they all laughed suddenly Terra's blast came back at them all. They jumped to aviod it Raku: "YOU! YOU MONSTERS!!!!!!!!!!" Raku lunged at Ven and summoned way to dawn and used that to attack Ven Ven dodged the attacks Ven: "your pretty slow..." Raku: "and your dead!" Ven keept dodging the attacks Ven: "not at this rate..." Raku fired a light beam at Ven Ven dodged it but it hit Terra behind him Terra: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" Ven got distracted when he heard Terra's cry Raku hit Ven in the stomach with his keyblade and then followed up with a upper-cut to the face sending Ven on top of Terra's un-concious body Aqua: "WHY YOU!" Aqua charged at Raku, but when she got to him, she jumped over him Raku was suprised by this move and looked back to find Aqua's keyblade in his face. Raku fell back, while Aqua charged him again. Aqua jumped over him when she reached him again Raku darted forward avioding the behind attack. Aqua persuded him Raku found a huge tree and used it to keep Aqua in front of him. Raku started rapidly fired light beams at Aqua Aqua successfully dodged most of them until one hit her Raku: "HA! I DID IT!!!!!!!" Terra: "did what?" Ven: "what did he do?" Aqua: "he managed to get a lucky shot... maybe that's what he did..." Raku couldn't believe that they were all still standing he had been hiting them with everything he had... Terra: "this is getting boring... let's finish this!" They disappeared and reappeared in a triangle around Raku Terra: "EARTH!" Ven: "SKY!" Aqua: "OCEAN!" all three: "HAAAAAAAAAAA" a energy beam came from each one and all hit Raku Raku: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" The three beams hit Raku with impressive force and caused a massive explosion with Raku in the middle of it... Ven: "think he's dead?" Terra: "I know he's dead... no one has ever survived that..." Aqua: "let's at least check..." Terra: "we don't need to check on things if there is no suprise to them... let's go!" a portal opened up and the three of them went into it when they left Raku tried to move himself out of the crator... but couldn't even move his finger... he blacked out Kairi: "Raku! your gonna be okay swee-
